This thread is exactly what I think whenever I go into treatment, or see "recovery" accounts on instagram, or talk about shit with my outpatient dietitian!!
First off, the body positivity movement... it fucking INFURIATES me. It only applies to the obese, and it you even so much as suggest something to do with their physical health you're shut down for fAt sHaMinG.... I've talked about it with my dietitian before and it's crazy how eating disorder specialized dietitians are so fucking BRAINWASHED into fat culture... I've shared with her my concerns about the BoPo movement and how it glorifies and normalizes obesity, and she parrots off EVERYTHING everyone says on it, "body weight is not an accurate measure of your physical health; someone who is overweight or even obese can still be healthy, health related issues are not dependent on weight," blah blah blah. She has told me she has had the "sickest" patients with an ED who were so obese but would restrict that one couldn't even hold her head up... uh I don't even understand that one so I'm not going to go into it. But GOD that drives me up the wall.
In recovery a few years ago I would follow a lot of that crap 1) because it made me feel better about my recovery because at least *I* wasn't overweight in recovery from my ED and 2) *maybe* being "fat" isn't THAT bad... LMFAO
Which goes into the biggest issue for me, that I see SO MANY PEOPLE who have "recovered" from their anorexia and are now very fucking overweight and posting all this recovery, BoPo, motivational shit on their instagrams, including CONSTANT selfies of their "bloat" after eating -- no honey, that's just fat, it's not EVEN a bloat... and my last time in treatment when I got to PHP I talked to the dietitian about how I think their "weight restoration" in basically every treatment center in the U.S. is a scam, in my experience from everywhere I've been, they feed ALL us up to get to a BMI of at least fucking 20, and those who come in who aren't even underweight even end up gaining weight too! How is this healthy?? I told her it seems like they treat everyone's body the same way, with the same ultimate goal BMI of 20-21, totally disregarding different body types, bone structures, metabolisms...??? She then went through the whole professional dietetics that every dietitian in the ED field is now spoon fed into parroting off, and I just nodded my head and said yeah, "Makes sense?" "uh... yeah." NO IT DOES NOT.
Just because almost the entire world now is used to being fat, sitting on their asses, eating pure shit out of laziness, and it's normalized, doesn't mean that we should be told in treatment nO FoOd iS a BaD fOoD, you can just eat it in *moderation* okay Karen, then why the fuck is there candy in the kitchen we have to choose to eat about every day to help us meet our insanely high fucking mealplans, and junk food, instead of you know, more healthy options that won't make us feel like SHIT?
Then by the time I've discharged out of treatment at fucking 150 lbs (20-21 bmi for me) I KEEP eating that way because I've grown accustomed to it and I think to myself, okay I'm fat now so what does it fucking matter anymore? Well it's not NORMAL and it shouldn't be.
Okay edit, I typed this out in pure vent form, I hope not to offend, if so- just know I let my ED take full reign over this part:
The funny thing is now I have a few friends who are obese and say they have always been "big" their whole lives and they think it's just their body type and they just can't lose weight. (They have lost weight before, but never enough to not be overweight) and when I start talking about my anorexia (I know this is the ortho forum but I agree with everything all of you guys have said) they flip out and say I'm just way too thin, yes I am quite underweight but I'm actually not sick, and they sometimes are like GIRL STOP talking about it, I wish *I* could lose this weight, and I'm being an ass and am like, well...you know, you could if you just like, didn't eat. >.>
Funny story but one time I was getting stoned with one of these friends so we had the munchies and she goes "ok Katie, I'm gonna show you how a fat girl eats and actually stays fat" and I'm like "ok girl, I gotcha" and I kept up with her throughout that binge, because I have b/p with my anorexia and I've been known to binge for up to 2 hours before I purge, and I was like girl don't be surprised, a thin girl can easily do this too, the difference is that when I binge I NEVER keep it down. XD
I dont know where tf I"m going with this but jesus, society pisses me off with obesity and being fat being the norm, and I'm like, how fucking LAZY can you be? How can you not care about how huge and disgusting you are, and keep eating like that??!!
I go on recovery accounts on instagram just to laugh at all the BoPo idiots thinking that that is REAL ANOREXIA RECOVERY. Sorry hon, it's not. It's called unhealthy lifestyle with binge eating to replace your anorexia. Same as when someone with anorexia recovers through fitness and health, because it's another way to control weight and size. They're replacing their restriction and weight loss obsessions with obsession with food and validating themselves for being way bigger than they'd like, but tHeY cAn'T ChAnGe it now since they are recovered, this is their recovery body!!! Trust me girl, I've been there too, and that is not your recovery body. I feel confident to recover now, because I know how to do it without feeding into the brainwashing they forcefeed you with in treatment. They like my weight in the upper 140sto the 150s, well if when I leave treatment this next time (admitting soon) and my weight is that high, I will lose to be in the 130s at a NORMAL BMI for me, and maintain there, and actually eat healthily with you know, BALANCE, so that I can maintain recovery, instead of resign myself to a life of constant overeating and binging and purging.