When Do I tell my son he was adopted? - Parents with ED - Forums and Community

Jump to content


About MPA

MPA is a site dedicated to the support or recovery of those suffering from eating disorders or body dysmorphic disorders. Please be sensitive to this fact when creating an account and contributing to the board.


Photo

When Do I tell my son he was adopted?


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 Runnermom419

Runnermom419

    Member

  • Validating
  • PipPip
  • 55 posts

Posted 13 January 2020 - 07:57 AM

He is 3 now but this goes through my mind a lot.....

#2 compost

compost

    Omniscient

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2546 posts
  • Locationapartment 8j

Posted 13 January 2020 - 08:06 AM

A past teacher of mine had adopted her daughter and told her from the get go so it was a part of her vocabulary and she'd grow up with the knowledge. How she did it, I'm not entirely sure, but she said letting her daughter know so early on made it much easier because it was easier for her daughter to accept it and there was never one of those awkward/upsetting "honey you're adopted" conversations. 

 

I used to babysit/keep her daughter entertained so she could get some work done, and she and her daughter would talk openly about the adoption and her daughter was about 6 at the time.


giphy.gif
 
       21 | 5 ' 7

 


#3 Tjasha

Tjasha

    Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 143 posts

Posted 13 January 2020 - 08:13 AM

as soon as possible so he won't find that like a negative thing


  • sophie11 and Hydra_ like this

#4 Hydra_

Hydra_

    Omniscient

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3859 posts
  • LocationDot

Posted 13 January 2020 - 08:22 AM

I was adopted as a baby and they told me asap then I told every I came into contact with when I started speaking. But I also have "that mum" that insults my biological mum whenever she can. 


                                                                                                                         UGW 95lbs

                          BMR 1493                           giphy.gif    Increase exercise!

Dem done comdem, a bare dead man dem.

Dem done nuh like mi an mi nah guh like dem. 

Dem guh stoop low.

Nuh confidence.

 


#5 Runnermom419

Runnermom419

    Member

  • Validating
  • PipPip
  • 55 posts

Posted 13 January 2020 - 09:04 AM

A past teacher of mine had adopted her daughter and told her from the get go so it was a part of her vocabulary and she'd grow up with the knowledge. How she did it, I'm not entirely sure, but she said letting her daughter know so early on made it much easier because it was easier for her daughter to accept it and there was never one of those awkward/upsetting "honey you're adopted" conversations.

I used to babysit/keep her daughter entertained so she could get some work done, and she and her daughter would talk openly about the adoption and her daughter was about 6 at the time.


Thank you for sharing!
  • compost likes this

#6 fatdumbhoneybun

fatdumbhoneybun

    Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 158 posts
  • LocationStupidville

Posted 13 January 2020 - 10:01 AM

I was adopted and I’ve always known ever since I can remember. My parents never had a sit down talk with me it was always just known and a part of life.

There are a ton of picture books about adoption that we would read in rotation with our “normal” books.
  • ChrissyBperfukt likes this

#7 BabyBo

BabyBo

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 738 posts
  • LocationIreland

Posted 03 May 2020 - 03:37 PM

As sooooon as possible, I would say immediately. Even if he doesn't understand what it fully means yet, I think it's important that he knows and it's just a normal part of his life so it can never become negative <3 good luck


  • sophie11 likes this

HW - 147lbs            CW - 134lbs            LW - 115lbs 

GW1 - 125lbs          GW2 - 119lbs          GW3 - 114lbs                      

UGW111lbs                                                                           

                                                                          c8SOp1.png?t=1&UAjnKTXi

147 146 145 144 143 142 141 140 139 138

137 136 135 134 133 132 131 130 129 128

127 126 125 124 123 122 121 120 119 118

117  116 115 114 113 112 111

                                                 1_by_akreon-d4xen5k.gif                                            


#8 [email protected]

[email protected]

    Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1127 posts

Posted 03 May 2020 - 04:02 PM

Maybe check this out for some ideas: https://www.familyli...ey-are-adopted/

 

Re: age, I did a bit of digging and it sounds like 2-4 is ideal. Some think 3+ is getting too old as said children tend to express more unhappiness later in life. I think doing it soon would be best based on that info. I don't think doing it now will be a major problem since it's still within 2-4 though. :)


Weight Loss with Fasting - Accountability

Height: 5'3"  SW: 171.4lbs  CW: 158.6lbs  UGW: ~115lbs

 

"Are you always a smartass?"

"Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep."


tumblr_inline_mvp731jI371r4840a.gif

 

 

 


#9 89vision

89vision

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 881 posts

Posted 03 May 2020 - 09:08 PM

There are really sweet books out there that can be helpful to you in explaining it to him.  I agree with everyone else that the sooner the better.  It can be framed in a way that makes it special.  I think the harder part comes with explaining about the bio parents.  



#10 ChrissyBperfukt

ChrissyBperfukt

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 16 posts
  • LocationCanada

Posted 05 May 2020 - 09:00 AM

I was adopted at 16 weeks, it was an open adoption and I always knew. It was just the norm at our house, my sister was also adopted and we are closer than any biological sister that we know. My mom had a bed time story she would tell us “once upon a time there was a mom and dad who loved their baby girl so much they wanted her to have the best life they could imagine” I don’t remember the whole story my biological parents were not fit to raise a child in the least but my mom was sure to celebrate the fact that they did the best thing they could do for me. That was important, it helped me to feel like I was given up out of love and not like I was unwanted


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users