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My daughter won’t eat


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#1 Shaylee3216

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Posted 29 February 2020 - 03:45 PM

My 8 year old almost choked on a little piece of cereal a few days ago and is now refusing to eat. She cries when we ask her to eat even the smallest thing because she is terrified of choking. She’s had nothing but applesauce. My husband blames me for this. I don’t engage in any ED behaviors in front of my children(I’ve been somewhat recovered for several years), but I do often worry that my 8 year old inherited my anxiety issues.
We’ve tried being encouraging, offered different foods, husband even tried threatening to take away electronics. She takes 3 dance classes every week and I’m now to the point where I’m thinking that if she doesn’t start eating, I might limit her participation. We’ve explained how she needs food to have energy, and she says she’s hungry, but she’s just too scared.

#2 GothGhoulfriend

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Posted 29 February 2020 - 03:49 PM

Taking away the things she enjoys is NOT the solution. Please don't do that, it will just make her feel like she is being punished for this when it's not her fault at all. This is a psychological issue and you need to take her to see a therapist.
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#3 A R I A

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Posted 29 February 2020 - 03:51 PM

im not an expert on these things but i think she could have arfid or autism maybe?

she might have a choking phobia 


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#4 A R I A

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Posted 29 February 2020 - 03:54 PM

Taking away the things she enjoys is NOT the solution. Please don't do that, it will just make her feel like she is being punished for this when it's not her fault at all. This is a psychological issue and you need to take her to see a therapist.

 

i second. it's definitely psychological. instead of taking privileges away, there should be a reward system. 


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#5 Sniper

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Posted 29 February 2020 - 03:57 PM

Maybe try feeding her some more liquidey foods like yoghurt, porridge and mashed potatoes/vegetables. But she should also see a therapist like the others are saying


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#6 perfectly_insane

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Posted 29 February 2020 - 04:01 PM

If there's anything she especially likes( maybe some candy, fruit or a snack) trying with it might be a good idea. If she still refuses to eat solids try making her nutritious smoothies and soups.
...when it comes to your husband and his accusations, honestly, he can choke.
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#7 Shaylee3216

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Posted 29 February 2020 - 04:11 PM

Our pediatrician won’t refer us to a therapist because it hasn’t been going on for an extended amount of time and she hasn’t had any major weight loss. I don’t like my husband’s tough love approach, and I’ve tried telling him that. My thoughts surrounding dance is I worry about her doing that much physical activity on a restricted diet. She won’t eat because she is afraid of choking. Even smoothies and juice scare her.

#8 Shaylee3216

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Posted 29 February 2020 - 04:12 PM

I’ve tried offering rewards. She just sits there and cries.

#9 Shaylee3216

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Posted 29 February 2020 - 04:14 PM

You’d think with a history of ED and anxiety, I should know how to handle this. I feel so awful.

#10 CocoaPebbles

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Posted 29 February 2020 - 04:40 PM

You’d think with a history of ED and anxiety, I should know how to handle this. I feel so awful.

It’s SO different when it’s your child. And every ED is different. So this is a whole new ball game compared to what you’ve been through.

You’re doing the best you can!!! Give yourself some credit.


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#11 MissMeMissSkinny

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Posted 29 February 2020 - 05:06 PM

Our pediatrician won’t refer us to a therapist because it hasn’t been going on for an extended amount of time and she hasn’t had any major weight loss.

 

Sounds like a shit pediatrician if you ask me. This is equivalent to when someone tries to open up about their ED to a doctor and they say "well you're at a healthy weight so it's not a big deal." Do research online and find therapists in your area that specialize in adolescents with disordered eating. Maybe also look into dietitians with the same specialty. This could spiral into something awful, and as a parent it's your job to take the steps to keep your kid healthy and happy (not saying you don't, just making a general statement.)

This sort of reminds me of my cousins. Since they were young they've only eaten chicken nuggets and ice cream. My Aunt and Uncle have the outlook of 'as long as they are eating something we're happy' but I just can't support that mentality. Of course, any time I try to suggest taking them to specialists they shoot back with something along the lines of, "not everyone needs that. Just because you do doesn't mean they do. They don't have disordered eating, they are just picky." But the thing is, it's 10 years later and these two high school aged boys STILL only eat the same two foods. I'm convinced that if their pediatrician had taken this issue seriously things would have been different, but they always just said, "well they are both at a healthy weight and don't refuse all food so it's fine."

Shitty. Healthcare. Professional.


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Just a shitty person living a shitty life.


#12 BabyBo

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Posted 03 May 2020 - 03:34 PM

My friend choked on something when she was younger and wouldn't eat anything except mashed potatoes for 6 months, she went to a child therapist and got over it! She still freaks out if she even thinks she's going to choke but she doesn't have an eating disorder or anxiety <3 It's most likely just an unfortunate situation that you guys will have to work through!!! 

 

Please don't punish her for something she can't help, trauma is hard for a kid : (


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