stressed, depressed, and obsessed - Page 10 - EDNOS Discussions - Forums and Community

Jump to content


About MPA

MPA is a site dedicated to the support or recovery of those suffering from eating disorders or body dysmorphic disorders. Please be sensitive to this fact when creating an account and contributing to the board.


Photo

stressed, depressed, and obsessed


  • Please log in to reply
277 replies to this topic

#181 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 16 June 2020 - 01:24 PM

I wish I hadn’t done that. It’s been a rough day since the start. He was annoyed I woke up crying as if it was on purpose and had an attitude the entire morning. He left an hour and a half later than he wanted to cause he wouldn’t get up. But whatever

Tomorrow is my 20th. I don’t know if I want to get any older than 20. My mom made a cake and asked me if I’d come over tonight. Then tomorrow I have to go over to my dads. Then Sunday is Father’s Day and I have to go over and celebrate my grandpas birthday one of these next couple of days. Ahhhhh why can’t celebrating just be about visiting and not about having a whole feast every single time. This week is going to be awful and I can’t wait for next week. EXCEPT THE 4TH IS COMING UP all that’s about is eating and booze.

Some days I wish I had a kid so I would have an excuse to skip out on it all and distract myself with taking care of them instead. I always used to do that when my brother was younger. Idk it’s just so much easier to function when it’s not a bunch of older people and I can be like “oh wait there goes junior I gotta go” and run off maybe one day. Otherwise I’ll just have to be a super cool aunt far in the future lol.
  • Anamia. likes this

#182 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 18 June 2020 - 11:31 PM

117

#183 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 19 June 2020 - 08:23 AM

117 honestly surprised me because my dad has been making me eat breakfast and lunch everyday I’m there. I try to throw half of it and he goes “nope you sit down and eat all of it” I feel like a child. Yesterday I got there and it was raining so he was starting late and he had a pancake left. Set it on the plate, grabbed the syrup and told me to sit down and eat it cause he already buttered it. Like fuckkk I hate eating in the morning. Not gonna lie though, he makes the worlds best pancakes from scratch so it could’ve been worse. But then for lunch, we had ice cream cake that he bought for my birthday. And it doesn’t matter what I do, like I feel guilty if I eat and I feel guilty if I don’t eat at my dads or when I’m a guest at someone’s place. Which is why I HATE gatherings and celebrations esp. when they beg you to eat or hound you about it. Like “you aren’t gonna have any? Come on it’s delicious you gotta have some, just a little” or “you can’t just starve yourself if you’re trying to lose weight” it’s so humiliating and even worse when it’s a group. Ughhhhh
  • Anamia. likes this

#184 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 19 June 2020 - 10:04 AM

The battery on my Fitbit is shot and I’m going crazy. Got used to knowing my step count and all that

#185 vxcvxzdfgbvfd

vxcvxzdfgbvfd

    Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 517 posts

Posted 20 June 2020 - 02:16 AM

How are you doing
  • typicaliii likes this
171cm

#186 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 20 June 2020 - 08:07 AM

How are you doing


I’m okay, my fiancé and I are going on a little road trip today. I’m excited but I hurt my back working yesterday so kinda nervous to be sitting in a vehicle all day! Also nervous because we get to go to the mall and I’m just dreading walking by Victoria’s Secret. He always tries to drag me in and my anxiety sky rockets around the other ladies in there. I feel like they’re silently judging me

How are you? Thanks for asking btw :)

#187 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 20 June 2020 - 04:20 PM

Don’t mind me just sitting in the parking lot chain smoking trying not to cry cause he brought me to a STEAKHOUSE even after last night I threw away ice cream cause I wanted to keep my cals at 600 but I love ice cream so I was sad and now this after not eating all day long why? Its not even dinner time it’s half through the day. It’s so humiliating to order nothing but a drink and they look at you like you’re nuts like aw this poor chubby girl

#188 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 20 June 2020 - 05:08 PM

So I ordered a 6oz sirloin and I always talk too fast and whisper lmao. Plain potatoes and green beans for a side but didn’t eat them, slathered in butter anyways. The waiter set down the food and my fiancé joked that the big plate was mine and the server goes “I believe it”
  • Anamia. likes this

#189 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 21 June 2020 - 02:47 PM

Supposedly 114

Seems a little fishy to me...

#190 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 21 June 2020 - 10:25 PM

There’s a bear just strolling through my yard lol. Worried about letting my dog out and leaving/coming home from work if I’m alone.

#191 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 22 June 2020 - 08:45 PM

b9e1e4acdc9d7760e1d2476401f66943.jpg

#192 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 23 June 2020 - 08:20 AM

So one scale says 114.2 and the other says 116? So I’ll just say I’m 116? I think?

#193 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 25 June 2020 - 10:26 AM

113.8

#194 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 08 July 2020 - 08:29 AM

Sorry I have been gone! I was placed in treatment after a suicide attempt on the 28th and just got home yesterday. I have been slow about getting on here, whoops lol.

Still 113 though

#195 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 12 July 2020 - 05:27 PM

Ahhhh do I recover or not

#196 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 13 July 2020 - 07:52 AM

I’m nervous to weigh myself but I’m going to by next week.

#197 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 13 July 2020 - 07:52 AM

Back to work at my old job today! Nervous to be back but happy. Guess I’ll be pulling 60 hour weeks so that’ll be nice.

#198 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 14 July 2020 - 08:34 AM

I LIED I’m NOT recovering I have gained so much in just a few weeks. Last night I stepped on the scale and it was 120.8 that’s bullshit I’m not doing this.

#199 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 23 July 2020 - 04:42 AM

116.8

#200 typicaliii

typicaliii

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 678 posts

Posted 23 July 2020 - 02:41 PM

It’s a bad one today dawg


14 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 14 guests, 0 anonymous users