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stressed, depressed, and obsessed


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#101 typicaliii

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Posted 10 May 2020 - 06:38 PM

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#102 typicaliii

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 06:24 AM

115.8

Finallyyy broke past 116. I like how my plan is just maintaining right now too . Like I feel like a failure for not exercising and not meeting my deadlines I set but I’m trying to tell myself to relax cause there’s so much going on right now. Then it turns into trying not to get angry with myself for using that as an excuse to be lazy.

#103 typicaliii

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 01:45 PM

I neeeed to stop drinking. I have MFP set up to have 2 meals, one being “dinner” and the other is...wait for it...”alcohol”. Lol. My intake would be cut in half, and I’d have so much more energy not being hungover everyday. I’m just not sure how to go about it. I’m good not drinking all day and super determined to stay away from it (especially feeling like shit) but once it’s about 6pm, I take this party to my car and sit in the yard listening to music til I blackout .
He is always buying booze and if it’s there I drink it. It’d be selfish to ask him not to drink/have it around me but I feel like he doesn’t take me serious about it. Which I obviously understand, cause if I make it long enough and I’m not already drinking, he’s like want a beer? Then boom. I teleported and it’s the next day. Lolll I just need help.

#104 typicaliii

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Posted 13 May 2020 - 08:49 AM

Of course I drank yesterday. And of course it’s raining today so I’ll be getting less steps in so that’s great.

#105 typicaliii

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Posted 13 May 2020 - 05:13 PM

118 today, just as I suspected. Got pretty high last night and drank. Ate a shitload later on. Sometimes I wish I lived on my own cause I know I wouldn’t eat nearly as much, and would probably never drink either. Obviously I love my roommate though.He has been home quite a bit these last couple weeks which makes it super hard to restrict. Hoping this quarantine thing ends soon so I can get my old job back.

#106 typicaliii

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Posted 14 May 2020 - 04:59 PM

Okay so I know I keep talking about quitting drinking but I need to find a decent job and soon so I want to focus on quitting smoking pot for now. Still trying to cut back though.

Idk if anyone ever reads this or not but I’d love to see some comments! Good lord I’m not that boring am I? Jk

#107 typicaliii

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Posted 14 May 2020 - 08:06 PM

My fiancé gave our friend something for his four wheeler and TOOK IT BACK for another friend. GOD I feel so bad I met him on the road as he was bringing it to our house cause I was trying to leave before fiancé got home from work. He is such a nice guy too and he would’ve given it back no matter what. I can’t believe he would pull that though I brought it home and threw it on top of my car like wtf dude great friend you are. I’m ashamed

#108 typicaliii

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Posted 14 May 2020 - 08:42 PM

God, please take me away

#109 typicaliii

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Posted 14 May 2020 - 08:47 PM

My heart is breaking so bad looking at pictures of my baby brother. I waited until I was almost a teenager to have a sibling, I was so miserable and so lonely, so jealous of everyone with siblings. Well I got him and now he wants nothing to do with me, he’s uninterested. He’s only 9 and only cares about my moms husband and his family. I feel like I’ve wasted so much on this when I could’ve spent it and enjoyed it with him and now he threw me away like everyone else. Man it hurts all I’ve ever wanted was someone and I lost the only one I really had

#110 typicaliii

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Posted 17 May 2020 - 10:53 AM

Maaan it’s been not so great these last couple days. My weight has been stuck around 118-118.4. Wanted to wait to update just cause there was no change but it’s been a few days since I posted. Didn’t even wear my Fitbit yesterday so I’m definitely irritated.

#111 typicaliii

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Posted 18 May 2020 - 06:46 AM

116.4

#112 typicaliii

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Posted 18 May 2020 - 08:40 AM

Bleh

#113 typicaliii

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Posted 18 May 2020 - 09:05 AM

My little brother was letting me know all the things my mom says about me. I’m a bad influence on him, I’m trouble, I’ve always been a bad kid, a brat, a bully, and hateful. He was trying so hard not to cry and screamed “it’s BULLSHIT.” It took so much to hold my tongue instead of telling him all of things she has done to me. Kinda funny bc she talks about her mom being so awful for turning her and her siblings against one another etc when she’s doing the exact same thing. I only keep those comments to myself because I don’t want to hurt him or make things more difficult than they already are. NOT for her at all. I really wish he stayed with my dad more or just full time. Trying to be more positive lately and it is definitely taking it’s toll during moments like this. I’ll keep at it though, persistence is key, right?

On the bright side, I got to teach him how to ride bike not even an hour later!! I’m so proud of him, the look on his face was priceless. I was also the one to see him take his first steps so this was super special for me.

#114 typicaliii

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Posted 19 May 2020 - 06:37 PM

117.8
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#115 typicaliii

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Posted 20 May 2020 - 08:01 AM

Holy hell I’m sunburnt on my back and neck. Told my fiancé my skin feels like a rotisserie chicken that you see at Walmart I’m all spicy today.
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#116 typicaliii

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Posted 20 May 2020 - 08:04 AM

On another note...need to be posting my body checks and take measurements soon. Scared to do both lol I’ll probably post body checks before measurements.

#117 typicaliii

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Posted 21 May 2020 - 05:50 AM

Sometimes I feel like my face looks okay and then I go on social media to compare myself to other women like oh...that’s right. it especially bothers me when he is liking other bitches posts while ignoring my messages like damn okay glad we’re thinking the same here. He’s gotten better about it though. Lmao I’d ignore myself too if I were him.

#118 typicaliii

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Posted 21 May 2020 - 05:53 AM

******
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*****dont quote or save please!

Such a stupid sticker but it’s all I could find at the moment lol.
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#119 Accidie

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Posted 21 May 2020 - 12:41 PM

Not to be a creep but i love your thigh gap and the overall shape like <\3 aesthetically 😭
Im confused about your chart is that weekly calories at the bottom or you do average 1300ish cals a day?
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5'6

cw:142

lw:122

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#120 typicaliii

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Posted 21 May 2020 - 02:11 PM

Not to be a creep but i love your thigh gap and the overall shape like <&#092;3 aesthetically
Im confused about your chart is that weekly calories at the bottom or you do average 1300ish cals a day?


Aw you’re too kind

I know, it’s super confusing idk what I was thinking lol. So I have my calories in, then it’s calories burned STRICTLY from biking or running on the treadmill. Then I take whatever my “workout” was and add to 1300 as my total out. I base it off of 1300 for unknown reasons honestly not sure why I chose that number. Then for the “total” chart, it shows how much I’m under or over 1300. So the last number at the bottom is the total under or over for the entire week. Idk if that makes sense, I have an odd way of thinking


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