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Dating after age 25 is the literal worst

dating relationships

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#1 IsopropylMyriad

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Posted 06 April 2020 - 12:50 AM

I was on an app and I won't go into detail but needless to say I ran into someone that said universally uncomfortable things to me that to be honest I'm not entirely sure I am even allowed to say on here.

 

And dating outside of an app? Even worse because my emotional baggage apparently is written all over my face like a sign that says "broken, 0 stars, would not recommend."

 

The whole process is triggering and I've once again come to the conclusion that I just don't want to be with anyone monogamously right now.  OR even at all.  Now granted, this was during quarantine but I don't know what possessed me to think that maybe somehow that would mean that suddenly everyone was on the same page.

 

Everyone else is finally living the life of a chronic illness patient with extreme anxiety basically, so I thought--hey--the playing field is finally leveled in my favor.  This doesn't have to be a disadvantage. 

 

WHAT A FOOL I WAS.  

 

It wasn't even that everything was inappropriate or sexualized.  It was that despite everything, I was STILL the girl with the chronic illness and the eating disorder who's behind in life and just now going to college because she spent 7 years trying to be able to walk in a straight line again.  I'm still the girl that can't drive.  I'm still the girl with clinical OCD.  I'm still the girl that says the wrong thing, does the wrong thing, has the wrong shaped face or the wrong color eyes, whatever. 

 

It doesn't matter what weight I am, whether I'm wearing makeup or not, what color my hair is.

 

I'm never going to be...that person..the perfect person that is exactly what someone else wants and that someone being exactly what I want.  Things are never going to add up like that for me.  And man am I tired of trying.  

 

And if that's not the saddest fucking thing sometimes in my little lonely corner of the world, I don't know what is.  I don't know what makes me sadder, the fact that I actually like to be alone, or the fact that I hate being lonely at the same time.

 

Anyway I guess this was more of a rant but it's rooted in my age a little..

 

Thanks for listening.


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#2 skinnyboy123

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Posted 06 April 2020 - 01:04 AM

dating these days sucks full stop .
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#3 MaryJJJ

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Posted 06 April 2020 - 01:08 AM

Add me.I feel the same way a lot of the time.I'm in my late 20's,still don't drive,the dating scene sucks and I want to go back to College. I ended up taking a course I did nothing with in my early 20s.I find some Men are just as shallow at this age as they were in their teens and I'm just focusing on my career.Women can be catty too.It's very lonely as I don't relate to a lot of people my age.I want realness in a World full of superficial banter.I see all these Women with their Wonderful Marriages and Boyfriends at my age and feel myself start to harden to the World around me.The tall and handsome guys never hit on me.I know if I lost 35 pounds they would. According to the doctor I'm a "healthy weight " but I want to be skinny. Skinny is beautiful, bones are beautiful.Even Women treat me better if I'm thin,like somehow all of a sudden I'm one of them and they're super nice.All of a sudden I exist.I tried and failed at many things throughout my 20s.I also persevered through a lot.But a common theme is that I never measured up for anyone. I was never good enough.That's something I have to live with.
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#4 rcanina

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Posted 08 April 2020 - 12:06 PM

try after 30


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#5 rcanina

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Posted 08 April 2020 - 12:10 PM

Everyone else is finally living the life of a chronic illness patient with extreme anxiety basically

i felt this


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#6 IsopropylMyriad

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 12:18 AM

Add me.I feel the same way a lot of the time.I'm in my late 20's,still don't drive,the dating scene sucks and I want to go back to College. I ended up taking a course I did nothing with in my early 20s.I find some Men are just as shallow at this age as they were in their teens and I'm just focusing on my career.Women can be catty too.It's very lonely as I don't relate to a lot of people my age.I want realness in a World full of superficial banter.I see all these Women with their Wonderful Marriages and Boyfriends at my age and feel myself start to harden to the World around me.The tall and handsome guys never hit on me.I know if I lost 35 pounds they would. According to the doctor I'm a "healthy weight " but I want to be skinny. Skinny is beautiful, bones are beautiful.Even Women treat me better if I'm thin,like somehow all of a sudden I'm one of them and they're super nice.All of a sudden I exist.I tried and failed at many things throughout my 20s.I also persevered through a lot.But a common theme is that I never measured up for anyone. I was never good enough.That's something I have to live with.

I hate the feeling of never being good enough but I equally hate the feeling of being seen.  I feel like the skinnier I am the more people dislike me, specifically because growing up it was that way with my mother.  Getting smaller has always been my way of trying to hide.  Trying to shrink.  But everything gets in the way always.  I wish I could be quietly brilliant. 


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#7 IsopropylMyriad

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 12:19 AM

try after 30

Yeah we'll see if I even want to after 30 lmao


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#8 IsopropylMyriad

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 12:19 AM

i felt this

Silly of me to think the playing field was leveled. People are jerks.


Be safe but conquer all


#9 IsopropylMyriad

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 12:19 AM

dating these days sucks full stop .

Agreed to the fullest extent.  I am mad at...people. 


Be safe but conquer all


#10 skinnyboy123

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 01:16 AM

Agreed to the fullest extent. I am mad at...people.


everyone else n dating apps is so self absorbed . unless your a model no one even bothers .
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#11 vinonna

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 01:09 PM

dating these days sucks full stop .

 

Pretty much this. It's like an experience with fast food. Consume, feel like crap afterward.


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5'5 (165 cm)

 

9th April 2020 -

SW: 143 lbs (64.8 kg)

HW: 145 lbs (66 kg)

 

8th May 2020

CW: 134.0 lbs (60.9 kg)

 

GW1: 117 lbs (53 kg)

GW2: 108 lbs (49 kg)

UGW: 100 lbs (45.5. kg)

 

My LW was around 102 lbs, but that was years ago....

 

 

 
 
weight.png
 
 
 

 

 

 


#12 gameofbones

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 11:58 PM

I don’t think dating after 25 is bad. Dating in General sucks. Most men in their early 20s are C U MM BAGS and only want sex. The men only start thinking seriously about relationships in or after late 20s... this is a FACT
 
 

#13 orochimaruuu

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Posted 18 April 2020 - 07:45 AM

totally agree... but sometimes i still like to dream that one day, i will eventually , actually meet "the one. " :wub:


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195 - 190 - 185180 - 175 -170 - 165 

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99

accountability: 202 lbs to 110


#14 Grandtourguy

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Posted 18 April 2020 - 10:43 PM

I relate to this whole thread



#15 MissNatasha

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Posted 13 May 2020 - 07:37 PM

I love my fiance. He is 100% my soul mate. I'm lucky to have met him in high school.

 

That being said, if something tragic were to happen to him, I would enjoy being single for the rest of my life. I would not want to deal with dating as an adult. It sounds miserable.


~~~~~

-Orthorexic Former Ana

-Age: 28

 

BMI:

25.0 - 24.5 - 24.0 - 23.5 - 23.0 - 22.5 - 22.0 - 21.5 - 21.0 - 20.5 - 20.0 - 19.5 - 19.0

Body Fat:

32 - 31 - 30 - 29 - 28 - 27 - 26 - 25 - 24 - 23 - 22 - 21 - 20 - 19 - 18


#16 lucyinthesky9

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Posted 18 May 2020 - 11:49 PM

It sucks. I was single until I met my bf at 28. (Im 29). I dated a little when I was 26-28, nothing before that. I was getting my heart broken over and over until I met my bf on Tinder of all places, we were both very disillusioned and were not expecting to meet anyone worthwhile. But I guess it does happen... he is my actual soulmate and I can’t believe I met him so I don’t blame you.
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#17 dreamon_xo

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Posted 19 May 2020 - 09:11 AM

Throw in having a kid as well as being fucked up in the head/attachment issues and dating for me is just near on impossible!


Height = 5ft5

HW = 135 (July 2019)

LW = 107.4 (August 2016)

 

CW = 115

 

GW1 = 125 

GW 2 = 120

GW3 = 115

GW4  =110

 

UG = 99

 

My Accountability Thread


#18 leftytherighty

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Posted 19 May 2020 - 10:15 AM

Everyone says it happens when you stop looking.  I hope that's true.  I have basically given up... I know I'm a sad girl and it's hard to be around someone who is always sad.  What I really want is to make friends.  I miss having people to love.


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Age:27

Height: 5'2"

HW: 139

CW: 128

GW1: 130

GW2: 125

GW3: 120

UGW: 98


#19 NotThisBody

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Posted 19 May 2020 - 10:48 AM

I super relate to your need for perfection. 
That is literally my life. 'Gotta be perfect' 'Can't be perfect' 'Perfect doesn't even exist?' 'Gotta be the perfect me' 'What even is the perfect me?' 'As much as I try and kms over my ED, I still haven't obtained perfection'. 

It's a shitty situation to be in. 
I'm really trying to learn how to love myself.. but I still put parameters on it, that I can't until I hit my UGW. lol :c 

<3 sending you love


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#20 poolcleaner

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Posted 10 June 2020 - 08:48 PM

Ya it can be really quite awful. The people who say otherwise typically have a partner that they met in some non-replicable fashion, or aren't looking for anything similar to you. Friends of friends have worked best for me, but perhaps I'm biased because that's how I met my current partner. 


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