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Am I asking too much? I need advice..


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#1 Roselle

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Posted 28 April 2020 - 05:51 AM

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#2 ℜ𝔦𝔫𝔞

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Posted 28 April 2020 - 06:01 AM

I think you should talk to him clearly, but friendly. Just chose a right time, when both of you are calm and talk about your feelings. Do not blame him, but use neutral phrases like: all the house work is making me very tired and it brings me a lot of stress; instead of: I am very tired and stressed because you don't help me with the house work. Also, keep in mind that for a while, he may help you but, after he will may give up. Just remember him that you are grateful for is help and it really makes you feel better. Thank him for the help in order to make him feel appreciated and he will more probably continue to help you. // If he refuses and tell you it's your business, insist. Give him arguments, compare situations, anything you think will work, but always be neutral with your phrases. Also, try to show emphatism regarding his work, but stay firmly on how you feel.


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#3 Roselle

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Posted 28 April 2020 - 06:09 AM

I think you should talk to him clearly, but friendly. Just chose a right time, when both of you are calm and talk about your feelings. Do not blame him, but use neutral phrases like: all the house work is making me very tired and it brings me a lot of stress; instead of: I am very tired and stressed because you don't help me with the house work. Also, keep in mind that for a while, he may help you but, after he will may give up. Just remember him that you are grateful for is help and it really makes you feel better. Thank him for the help in order to make him feel appreciated and he will more probably continue to help you. // If he refuses and tell you it's your business, insist. Give him arguments, compare situations, anything you think will work, but always be neutral with your phrases. Also, try to show emphatism regarding his work, but stay firmly on how you feel.

Okay, yeah I'll try talking to him again. This comes up about every 2-4 months but it turns into a big fight and I cave. I think I'm too accusing when I talk to him about it. I don't know how to be firm but not come off as aggressive. At one point we had a maid but she just stopped showing up to scheduled things because her boss wasn't paying her, even though we paid her boss. Maybe I can get him to hire a maid again once a week.


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#4 ℜ𝔦𝔫𝔞

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Posted 28 April 2020 - 06:18 AM

Okay, yeah I'll try talking to him again. This comes up about every 2-4 months but it turns into a big fight and I cave. I think I'm too accusing when I talk to him about it. I don't know how to be firm but not come off as aggressive. At one point we had a maid but she just stopped showing up to scheduled things because her boss wasn't paying her, even though we paid her boss. Maybe I can get him to hire a maid again once a week.

I understand the desire of being agressive, but maybe another strategy may work. It is better to stay calm and try to come to a consensus. Maybe you could use the house work as a pretext to spend more time with him. It could also improve your relationship.


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