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Desperate 5kg/11lbs Fast [DONE]


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#21 lavender-coffee

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Posted 05 May 2020 - 05:33 AM

[12:32] oh god, I just had the soup I planned and I feel so full, damn. That's it, that's the update.


  • MinimalAestheticGoal likes this

PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#22 lavender-coffee

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Posted 05 May 2020 - 10:32 AM

[17:32] Whoops, accidentally wrote 2018kcal for that soup, no!! It was 218kcal. I'm still kinda confused and hazy today, despite eating. Ate a lot of grapes, a whole ass lemon and... cinammon bread. Not proud, but I only ate 400kcal of it, so it's okay. I had some baked cheese planned out for that amount, so it doesn't really matter.


  • Alice756 and MinimalAestheticGoal like this

PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#23 lavender-coffee

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Posted 05 May 2020 - 12:44 PM

[19:32] Huh, so I weighed myself this evening after water and everything done and I'm at 55.4kg. Not too bad, I was afraid it would be more like a kilogram. But I kinda know the reason but it's a Too Much Info, so I'll put it in a spoiler

Spoiler

Anyway, I feel really really good right now and I'm very positive towards continuing the fast tomorrow for (hopefully) another week! If I still don't reach 52.3kg, then another feeding day after 7 days and then however long it'll take.


  • MinimalAestheticGoal likes this

PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#24 MinimalAestheticGoal

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Posted 05 May 2020 - 03:12 PM

i find absolutely amazing that you were capable of fasting so long and then only do a small refeed, wow. i had to stop doing long fasts because every fast over 2 days would cause me to inevitably binge afterwards. 

 

congrats once again, and good luck on your journey!


  • lavender-coffee likes this
 
weight.png

 

164cm/5'4

SW : 62.0 kg

GW 1 : 59 kg

GW 2 : 57 kg 

GW 3 : 55 kg

GW 4 : 53 kg

GW 5 : 51 kg

GW 6 : 49 kg

UGW: ?


#25 lavender-coffee

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Posted 06 May 2020 - 04:00 AM

i find absolutely amazing that you were capable of fasting so long and then only do a small refeed, wow. i had to stop doing long fasts because every fast over 2 days would cause me to inevitably binge afterwards. 

 

congrats once again, and good luck on your journey!

Thanks a lot! I don't know, I haven't had the urge to binge in a really long time, thanks depression for that. Usually I couldn't go more than 2 days aswell, I don't have much hope for when this period will be over, haha.

 

Good luck to you too!


  • MinimalAestheticGoal likes this

PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#26 lavender-coffee

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Posted 06 May 2020 - 04:06 AM

06May:

 

CW: 55.1kg/121.4lbs  ||  from yesterday: +0.3kg/0.6lbs   ||  total: -2.2kg/4.9lbs  ||  left: 2.8kg/6.1lbs

 

Water? 

Tea?  

Walked? 

Eaten? X

 

Notes: 

[11:02] Wow, I am surprisingly okay with only this small weight gain from yesterday. I'm positive I'll be back to 54.8kg tomorrow again! I feel really good and clear again, no migraine and walking is fine again. I feel optimistic that I'll manage to do another week like that. Afterwards I believe I'll start the proteine shake liquid fast, I feel like doing more than 2 weeks of this is unhealthy to a dangerous degree. Btw I downloaded LIFE to get through the week and see my time progress better. At the end, days seemed to melt into another and that really didn't help when I was trying to do Uni work, haha. So, right now I'm 4 hours and 19 minutes in. Left are 163hrs39min. This number somehow seems way smaller than counting days. Weird, I hope it'll help!


  • Alice756 and MinimalAestheticGoal like this

PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#27 lavender-coffee

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Posted 06 May 2020 - 12:07 PM

[19:07] Okay, so today was kinda hot and it wasn't helping that I was wearing my leather jacket lol My brain was boiling from uni work and while I was talking to my elderly neighbor, I lost hearing, then vision and basically passed out. Doubt it'S necessarily from the fast, but damn, I feel shitty and just wanna sleep the day away. Apparently I also miscalculated a week and am supposed to get my period any day now, urghhh. I was almost happy that I thought it was gone this month. FML get ready for water weight and suffering. Luckily mine only lasts 3-4 days, so let'S see.


  • Alice756 likes this

PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#28 lavender-coffee

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Posted 07 May 2020 - 02:13 AM

07May:

 

CW: 54.5kg/120.1lbs  ||  from yesterday: -0.6kg/1.3lbs   ||  total: -2.8kg/6.1lbs  ||  left: 2.2kg/4.9lbs

 

Water? 

Tea?  

Walked? 

Eaten? X

 

Notes: 

[09:13] 26:24 passed, 141:35 to go

I'm past the halway mark again! I start to feel quite confident kinda? Idk, being under 55kg is nice, it's like a safe range. Got my lighter clothes out and feel a lot better while walking! Leather jacket + sweater might have been a bit too much, although I'm constantly cold, it does heat up when I walk in the sun. I'm supposed to go gocery shopping on saturday. Damn, what should I buy if I plan to not eat solid food until next week's friday??? Urgh, that'S gonna be the question of the day. I don't like thinking about meal plans, when I'm fasting. Especially on my second day!


  • -Duck likes this

PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#29 lavender-coffee

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Posted 07 May 2020 - 02:03 PM

[21:03] I feel like absolute garbage. I had only fantasized about sending some pictures I took of myself to my mom (she hasn't seen me since 63kg) to see her reaction and I actually did it, because I needed sewing advice, didn't mention my body. She basically flipped about how 'skinny' I looked, totally loosing it. Now she pried everything open (she knows about my ED anyway) and I told her I had purged everything and then fasted for a week. So now she acts like I'm dying and wants to get me IP again, NO THANKS TO THAT. Urgh, this isn't the way I wanted her to be shocked. I don't feel like I can cross that goal out yet. I'm a terrible person. Why did I ever think this was a good idea?! To add to that, a friend that knows only very little about my ED just confessed that she had started to purge her meals. I feel like this is my fault and my influence. I also feel bloated and like I might get my period and I can't stop crying. I'M NOT SICK ENOUGH YET. Gonna take some Melatonin and sleep the day away or I won't sleep at all. FUCK.


  • -Duck likes this

PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#30 MinimalAestheticGoal

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Posted 07 May 2020 - 02:31 PM

ugh that's terrible i'm sorry you went through that today :(

 

try to sleep and tomorrow will be another day.


 
weight.png

 

164cm/5'4

SW : 62.0 kg

GW 1 : 59 kg

GW 2 : 57 kg 

GW 3 : 55 kg

GW 4 : 53 kg

GW 5 : 51 kg

GW 6 : 49 kg

UGW: ?


#31 violet_liketheflower

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Posted 07 May 2020 - 02:44 PM

I'm sorry <3 but it will be ok you got this

 

and don't blame yourself for your friend whatsoever I know it's easier said than done but it's not your fault at all, you haven't encouraged her to do anything. you got this 


  • MinimalAestheticGoal likes this

5'4

Hw:129lbs,  recovery reached: 140 
Lw:82lbs 
cw:87lbs 95lbs  88lbs   100lbs  92lbs 110lbs 120lbs  117  114 112 110 109 108
 
 

#32 lavender-coffee

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Posted 08 May 2020 - 05:40 AM

08May:

 

CW: 54.3kg/119.7lbs  ||  from yesterday: -0.2kg/0.4lbs   ||  total: -3.0kg/6.6lbs  ||  left: 2kg/4.4lbs

 

Water? 

Tea?  

Walked? 

Eaten? X

 

Notes: 

[12:34] 53:48 passed, 114:12 to go

Um, yeah. Not my best night, cried a lot before falling asleep quite late and idk wtf happened to my weight. I was 54.3kg yesterday evening, woke up, used the bathroom.... still 54.3. I mean, I'm not super complaining, speaking in lbs I'm back in the 110's, but I am kinda dissapointed still. According to Clue today iÍ was supposed to get my period. I don't have any symptoms yet, no spotting, no pain. But also no hunger like usual, so maybe the lack of weightloss is still due to hormones? I dunno, I feel uncomfortable. My friend is coming in a bit over an hour to watch my dog while I shop and tbh my grocery list is looking really sad, haha. On a sidenote, my protein powder and bars arrived, so I know how I'll ease off of the fast. Seriously, at this point I'm so frustrated with slow weight loss, I'll just complete this week and if I'm not 52.3 then honestly whatever lol I'm gonna continue with a protein shake liquid diet afterwards to get there.


PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#33 lavender-coffee

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Posted 08 May 2020 - 05:43 AM

ugh that's terrible i'm sorry you went through that today :(

 

try to sleep and tomorrow will be another day.

 

 

I'm sorry <3 but it will be ok you got this

 

and don't blame yourself for your friend whatsoever I know it's easier said than done but it's not your fault at all, you haven't encouraged her to do anything. you got this dear

Thanks a lot you two <3 :/ I'm trying to seriously not project too hard yet, she said she struggled with disordered eating before and I only mentioned about being diagnosed with one including purging once over two months ago. So it was kinda bound to happen, I guess. As for my mother, she calmed down and expressed her concern, but trusts me to make my own judgement. So we'll gonna see about how it's gonna be when I visit in a couple weeks.

 

Thanks again, I hope you're well <3


  • MinimalAestheticGoal likes this

PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#34 lavender-coffee

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Posted 08 May 2020 - 12:18 PM

[19:18] I'm fighting the cravingsss, ahhh, going shopping was horrible and a mental battle. I just bought the same items 3 times because I was so afraid of food lol. Also my friend talked about wanting to go out to eat and drink together again, but I had to decline. I have such fun with him, so fasting today wasn't even on my mind today, but when he mentioned wanting to go to a japanese restaurant, I felt panicked. Because I started purging daily and losing these 14kg in 2 months after we went out that one time. Oof. I think I'll do it as a reward once I'm safely under 50kg maybe. 


PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#35 lavender-coffee

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Posted 09 May 2020 - 10:19 AM

09May:

 

CW: 53.5kg/117.9lbs  ||  from yesterday: -0.8kg/1.8lbs   ||  total: -3.8kg/8.4lbs  ||  left: 1.2kg/2.6lbs

 

Water? 

Tea?  

Walked? 

Eaten? X

 

Notes: 

[17:19] 82:32 passed, 85:27 to go

Wow, a huge drop! I'm pretty surprised. Today I have terrible cramps and cravings, but no hunger. So like normal period symptoms I get on the 2nd day usually, but I don't bleed? Urgh, this sucks, can it please just stay away completely again? I'm just worn out and don't feel like sitting on my PC. Only 1.2kg left though! I feel so optimistic again about archiving my goal this week.


  • MinimalAestheticGoal likes this

PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#36 lavender-coffee

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Posted 10 May 2020 - 08:18 AM

10May:

 

CW: 53kg/116.8lbs  ||  from yesterday: -0.5kg/1.1lbs   ||  total: -4.3kg/9.5lbs  ||  left: 0.7kg/1.5lbs

 

Water? 

Tea?  

Walked? 

Eaten? X

 

Notes: 

[15:19] 104:26 passed, 63:33 to go

Holy shit, WHAT?? Another pretty big drop! Only 0.7kg left till my goal, just how?! Last week went kinda slow in comparison, but now I'm pretty positive I'll complete it in time. I still feel as moody and cramp-y as yesterday, dunno why. Usually I have PMS symptoms for only one day. Oof, it's also so humid since yesterday, which doesn't help my mood and I swear, I showered like 3 times, because it makes me break out in cold sweats. Suckssss. I also got gifted a large sum of money and made plans to see the friend that started all of this. June 6th is now the due date where I'll need to be under 50kg, preferably 47kg, to go shopping! Nervous, even if it's almost a month away haha.


  • Alice756 and MinimalAestheticGoal like this

PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#37 lavender-coffee

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 07:30 AM

11May:

 

CW: 52.7kg/116.1lbs  ||  from yesterday: -0.3kg/0.6lbs   ||  total: -4.6kg/10.1lbs  ||  left: 0.4kg/0.9lbs

 

Water? 

Tea?  

Walked? 

Eaten? X

 

Notes: 

[14:24] 127:40 passed, 40:19 to go

I feel very unmotivated to go on MPA nowadays. I'm finally in the 52's and I could call it quits, but I'm gonna complete tomorrow. If it wasn't for the LIFE App, I would have forgotten what day it is. God, I can't wait for a protein shake and maybe a bar. Frozen Raspberries. Maybe some lowcal spinach Tortellini. Oof. I wanna eat so badly. Another day of tea and suffering. Right now I just really wanna quit and be like ''I'm already in the 52's and I have time till 6th of June'', but I'd hate myself if I quit. C'mon barely 40hrs!


  • MinimalAestheticGoal likes this

PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#38 lavender-coffee

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Posted 12 May 2020 - 02:20 AM

12May: END RESULTS

 

CW: 52.2kg/115.0lbs  ||  from yesterday: -0.5kg/1.1lbs   ||  total: -5.1kg/11.2lbs  ||

 

It is done. I have lost over 5kg. As soon as I saw that 2.2 at the end, I basically went on auto pilot and ate an entire tub of cottage cheese (154kcal) lmao. I feel bad that I broke the fast urgh. But now I just feel so full and will focus on refeeding/maintaining and then slowly go down to 50kg during the rest of may. When I hit that 50kg, I'll make a new accountability (though not for fasting, bc god I need a break) to go down the last 10kg. I'll then put an update post with a link here and will also link it in my signature. I feel very drained and will not recommend this, especially since I didn't lose a lot the first week and only the second after refeeding a day. But I also feel safer at my current weight, quite good actually about that. I can see my ribs almost perfectly, my collarbones showed up and my arms are slimmer (thank god, they make me insecure). So, thanks for following so far :)

May we meet again!


  • MinimalAestheticGoal likes this

PURGING DISORDER

former diagnosis: a-typical anorexia/EDNOS

HW:    89.1kg/196lbs (Aug'16)

LW:     47.4kg/104lbs (Dec'18)

CW:    54.3kg/119lbs (Sep'20)

 

GW: |   60kg/132lbs  |  55kg/121lbs  |  50kg/110lbs  |  45kg/99lbs  |

UGW:    40kg/88lbs

Accountability

 

Goals&Rewards:

Spoiler

I write kinda coldly/harsh, it's because I suck at publicly writing, forgive me ;;


#39 violet_liketheflower

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Posted 12 May 2020 - 02:24 AM

 

12May: END RESULTS

 

CW: 52.2kg/115.0lbs  ||  from yesterday: -0.5kg/1.1lbs   ||  total: -5.1kg/11.2lbs  ||

 

It is done. I have lost over 5kg. As soon as I saw that 2.2 at the end, I basically went on auto pilot and ate an entire tub of cottage cheese (154kcal) lmao. I feel bad that I broke the fast urgh. But now I just feel so full and will focus on refeeding/maintaining and then slowly go down to 50kg during the rest of may. When I hit that 50kg, I'll make a new accountability (though not for fasting, bc god I need a break) to go down the last 10kg. I'll then put an update post with a link here and will also link it in my signature. I feel very drained and will not recommend this, especially since I didn't lose a lot the first week and only the second after refeeding a day. But I also feel safer at my current weight, quite good actually about that. I can see my ribs almost perfectly, my collarbones showed up and my arms are slimmer (thank god, they make me insecure). So, thanks for following so far :)

May we meet again!

 

way to go girl, this couldn't have been easy. seriously way to go <3 and take care of yourself


  • lavender-coffee, MinimalAestheticGoal and blxckbexuty like this

5'4

Hw:129lbs,  recovery reached: 140 
Lw:82lbs 
cw:87lbs 95lbs  88lbs   100lbs  92lbs 110lbs 120lbs  117  114 112 110 109 108
 
 


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