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(modified) hsgd diary


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#1 Sweet Lime

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Posted 10 May 2020 - 08:35 PM

(My hsgd journey is over. I've begun a new thread in accountability.)

 

 

Additions:

 

12:12 IF

Walk a fast (4-5mph) 3 miles 4-6 days/week

Work out with resistance loops 20-30 minutes 4 days/week

Drink 3-4 cups of green tea daily

Drink 2-3 liters of water daily

3 out of 4 meals must be made from scratch

Meet as many vit/min requirements as possible

 

I don't believe in quitting and starting diets over. Mistakes will happen. Everyone has bad days. That doesn't make the previous effort a failure. It means that a lesson has been learned. Tomorrow is a new day. Consistency, determination, and resilience pay off every time.

Just keep going.

 

 

Frequent Workout Videos Used

 

Resistance Loop Full Body

Resistance Loop Booty and Abs

Resistance Loop Arms

Slim Thighs

 

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

Sunday (Day One)

 

I'm writing this at the end of day one of the healthy skinny girl diet, and would call it a success.

 

I'm including 16:8 intermittent fasting because it's always helped me before and makes restricting so much easier. 

 

This is also the beginning of my quitting alcohol, simply because it causes me to eat every time, even if I only have a little bit. I'm tired of it. And I always find it easy to motivate myself to work out and go to bed early.

 

Another rule here is that I will only weigh and measure myself once a week. I don't know about anyone else, but I get way too absorbed in that fucking number to torture myself with it everyday. I'll be much better off if I just do the work and wait for the payoff. 

 

Anyway, wish me luck. <3


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#2 birdie_102

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Posted 12 May 2020 - 11:30 PM

Good luck!!! I'm doing the same thing - HSGD and IF as well. 


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Height: 5'6"

SW: 150 (BMI: 24.2)

CW: 139

GW (by 6/22/20): 125 (BMI: 20.2)

UGW: 110 (BMI: 17.8)

 

"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday."

 




 


#3 Sweet Lime

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Posted 13 May 2020 - 02:41 PM

Oof, let me catch this up with a few posts. I have such a hard time with the chronicling aspect of obsessive dieting lol.


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#4 Sweet Lime

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Posted 13 May 2020 - 03:03 PM

So, in addition to the diet, I'm walking at least 3 miles every day on my treadmill at what the LoseIt app calls a very fast walking pace (5mph). What I do is set my laptop where I can see it and speed walk for an episode of Supernatural or until I reach 3 miles. The app says that it burns 348 calories and the treadmill says 211 calories. But the treadmill doesn't know my weight and the app does, so I'm guessing there is some more sophisticated calculation happening. Regardless, I do not subtract calories burned from calories consumed. I just don't trust the math, I feel like it defeats the purpose, and it feels too much like purging. I'm not trying to get rid of calories so I can eat them all over again. 

 

Anyway, I've also been aiming to drink at least 3 liters of water every day. There are just too many benefits to list, but my primary goals for doing this are mainly cosmetic. I'm using empty jars from pickles that I've saved. They hold 710mL, so four of them equal to just under 3 liters. Whenever I plan to eat, I chug half a jar, and then between bites I take big sips so that by the time I'm finished eating I've finished the jar. Then throughout the day, when I used to suck down like three cherry coke zeroes, I'm drinking the water. I don't have the time or room in my stomach to drink diet sodas anymore, which I'm happy about. They really are not that great for me, especially when I consider the artificial sweeteners and all that sodium. 

 

The water has definitely helped curb my appetite, which has helped while I'm adjusting to no longer using alcohol. I always have a big spike in appetite, particularly sugar cravings. I'm still setting aside enough calories for a few dark chocolate kisses at the end of the day. I'm not trying to push the restriction so hard that I can't maintain it. 

 

In fact, this time around, nothing feels unhealthy about what I'm doing. This is only day four, and I don't know if I've even lost any weight, but judging my success by how I look and feel is so much nicer than running to the scale every morning and worrying if the water I drink at night is going to affect the number. I can tell with just my eyes that my stomach is much flatter, my skin is brighter and less red, my face isn't puffy. I'm more energized and focused. I have no reason to purge because I don't binge or drink.

 

Anyway, this is just stuff I've been thinking over the last four days. I'll add in what I've been eating later today.


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#5 Sweet Lime

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Posted 15 May 2020 - 12:27 PM

Sunday: 

 

Breakfast/lunch- vegan potato soup, small slice homemade cheese pizza

 

Dinner- baked flounder with lemon butter, quinoa, corn

 

Snacks- 2 rice cakes, pink lady apple, sea salt popcorn, pickled egg, 4 hershey's special dark kisses

 

Water- 3L

Exercise- 3 miles in 40 minutes

Total- around 1100


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#6 Sweet Lime

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Posted 15 May 2020 - 12:29 PM

Monday

 

Breakfast/lunch- potato soup

 

Dinner- salad w/ romaine, shrimp, corn, quinoa, avocado, creamy avocado poblano dressing

 

Snacks- 2 rice cakes, sea salt popcorn, 3oz chicken thigh, banana bread w/ cream cheese, 6 hershey's kisses

 

Exercise- 3.5 miles in 34 minutes

 

Water- 3L

 

Total- around 1130


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#7 Sweet Lime

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Posted 15 May 2020 - 12:31 PM

Tuesday

 

Lunch- homemade cornish pasty with lamb

 

Dinner- split a blt sandwich with my bae

 

Snack- 1 sonic cherry limeade popsicle

 

Total- around 980


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#8 Sweet Lime

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Posted 15 May 2020 - 12:34 PM

Wednesday

 

Breakfast- salad w/ romaine, shrimp, corn, quinoa, avocado, creamy avocado poblano dressing

 

Lunch- potato soup

 

Dinner- baked tilapia, quinoa, corn

 

Snacks- 6 hershey's kisses, homemade chocolate w/ white choc chips cookies from bae's grandma, 1/2 homemade cheddar bay biscuit, then later that night a grilled cheese, some banana bread w/ cream cheese

 

Exercise- 3 miles in 36 minutes

 

Water- 3L

 

Total- at least 1500, oh well


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#9 Sweet Lime

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Posted 15 May 2020 - 12:37 PM

Thursday

 

Breakfast/lunch- omelette w/ 2 eggs, 1/2 avocado, and spinach

 

Dinner- baked tilapia, corn, quinoa, spinach

 

Dessert- grandma's cookies, 6 hershey's dark kisses

 

Total- around 850

 

Got so sick after dinner, not sure why.


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#10 Sweet Lime

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Posted 15 May 2020 - 12:50 PM

So, I'm not sticking to the calories very well this first week, but I'm not upset about it. The calorie limit to me is more of a soft goal, and if I stay under it, that's great, but if I go over, I'm still below my TDEE.

 

This time around, I'm more concerned with my overall nutrition than with treating every calorie as just a calorie. I know I'm eating a lot of sweets at night, but from experience, I know the sugar cravings decrease as I adjust to not having alcohol in my system. Aside from the chocolate, I want everything I eat to serve some purpose for my body, even if the calories are higher, like with the avocado. I was going to stick with a vegetarian diet, but I'm just not getting enough protein that way, so I'm using seafood as a source for now. Every now and again, I'll have some other meat, but it's not going to be a daily thing to have chicken or pork.

 

Overall, I feel pretty good about how things are going. I almost don't even feel that I belong on this site anymore because I don't have the ED mindset that I used to. But I'll keep writing this out because it helps keep things straight in my head. And if I get bad obsessive again, I can look back on these healthy thoughts.


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#11 Sweet Lime

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Posted 15 May 2020 - 08:08 PM

Friday

 

Breakfast- cheddar bay biscuit

 

Lunch- salad w/ romaine, kale, shrimp, quinoa, corn, avocado, cheese, avo poblano dressing

 

Dinner- seared ahi tuna, broccoletti

 

Dessert- gram's cookies, special dark kisses, chai w/ milk and sugar

 

Exercise- 3 miles in 32 minutes

 

Water- 3L, possibly 3.5-4 by end of day

 

This is supposed to be everything for the day, but I haven't gone to bed yet. I'll probably have another cup of tea with milk and sugar. 

 

My boyfriend has begun filming videos for his youtube channel in the evenings, so when he's doing those in the living room, I'll come into the bedroom and just watch videos or read or write until he's finished. Whether I then just go to bed or go back out to the living room determines whether I eat more. I've been catching up on West World and tonight I wanted to rent The Invisible Man. Being able to stream smoothly means having to wait until pretty late at night, which means I'm likely hungry again.

 

But honestly, I don't feel too bad about eating again past my calories. If I'm starting to feel hungry, I'll chug some water and see if that's all I really needed, but if I'm still actually hungry beyond that, I see no problem with having a snack I'll really enjoy. 

 

I've been watching a lot of content from Abbey Sharp and Melanie Murphy this week, and I'm so glad about the timing. What started out as an obsession with watching Abbey responding to various What I Eat In A Days (to compare my diet with that of other women) has actually resulted in me heeding her advice about intuitive eating and satiety. Scrolling through the comment section, I saw someone mention Melanie and how she talks about overcoming eating disorders, so I've been watching her nonstop. She's so positive and real, and gives such excellent tips about what it means to really take care of yourself. I just downloaded her first book to my kindle and am getting settled in to start reading.

 

So, anyway, that's the main reason this accountability is becoming a bit different than what I set out for it to be. I'm not here to log the calories and beat myself up. It's about structure and sharing what I'm learning. My first weigh and measure is on Sunday, so we'll see if this approach is successful according to the numbers. If I have gained weight, I'll make some adjustments. But if I get to enjoy myself everyday and gradually lose weight while reshaping my body, I'll be content with slower progress. It feels so nice to give myself permission to do it that way.


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#12 Sweet Lime

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Posted 16 May 2020 - 04:52 PM

Like I said in the last post, I know myself pretty well and did end up eating once more that night. Ended up staying up until 4am watching The Invisible Man (SO GOOD) and finishing season three of West World, so around 1 I made a mozzarella grilled cheese and had a cherry coke zero with it. Felt a bit bloated from the soda, but it was the last one in the fridge and I wanted bubbles, so why not. I ended up not wanting the chocolates that I logged, so I'm just a little bit over.

 

While bf was filming, I did a couple of workouts with the mini bands (resistance loops) that I've had for almost two years and used maybe twice. The video I used (x) suggests repeating the workout 3-4 times, but I have done zero exercise other than a little bit of cardio for nearly a year, so I stopped at two times. I've already done my three miles today and I'm not feeling too sore, so I'm going to do another workout tonight and rest tomorrow. We have three special meals planned for tomorrow that we've spent a few days preparing everything for (I've been baking different breads for the last five hours lol), so I'm excited to just simply eat and enjoy what we've learned how to make this week. I'll write all about that on Monday.

 

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well and being kind to themselves. <3


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#13 Sweet Lime

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Posted 16 May 2020 - 09:25 PM

Saturday (Day 7, End of Week 1)

 

Breakfast- rice cake with raw maple spread, pink lady apple

 

Lunch- omelette w/ 2 eggs, avocado, bacon, and spinach

 

Dinner- ahi tuna steak, broccoletti, spinach, w/ maple mustard sauce

 

Dessert- gram's cookies (the last of them  :( ) 2 cups chai w/ sweetened condensed milk

 

Exercise- 3 miles in 34 mins, 22 minute ab/booty workout w/ mini bands (x

 

Water- 3.5L so far

 

 

I just finished the workout (did the video twice over) and I just know I'm going to be so sore tomorrow. But that's okay because all I have to do is cook and eat. I'm going to have a bit of a snack in half an hour or so, something with a nice bit of protein for these shaky muscles, and then it's early to bed. Hopefully I'll sleep right away and get up early to do my weigh, measure, and progress pictures.

 

I guess what I'm doing is really just a healthy girl diet at this point..lol. I'll just put "modified" in the title. It's such a relief to see that after only a week of light/moderate activity, my butt has just popped right back up. It didn't want to be where it was, falling out of my shorts and looking flatter than my belly. Now it's on its way to being happy and perky again. I wish I had taken some before pictures from different angles, but oh well. I'll know the difference. 

 

 


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#14 Sweet Lime

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Posted 17 May 2020 - 11:10 AM

Weigh and Measure!

 

I'll start this off by saying I didn't lose any weight at all, which didn't surprise me given the last few days with the night snacking and not sticking with the IF. In fact, I'm up .2lbs from having not had a bm since I think Friday. I'm not that disappointed because I made so many other healthy changes and I'm more interested in what my body feels like this time around.

 

That being said, the measurements tell a much more interesting story. Almost every one of them is different this week. My bust and hips are down half an inch, my thighs went up half an inch, and my waist is down a full inch. 

 

I'm not sure how to proceed. I know there is some food and water weight involved in this weigh-in, and I do want to lose pounds in this process, but I understand that trying to exercise is going to slow down what happens on the scale. Still, there are plenty of improvements that can be made, like decreasing the sugar and increasing the fiber. I've already stopped craving as much chocolate everyday, so I think that I can get that sweetness in with just a cup of tea with sweetened condensed milk at the end of the day. I'll increase my fiber with a lentil, quinoa, chia seed, and red bean mix that I can toss into salads or serve as a side with fish or tofu. And make sure I eat at least one apple and one or two clementines per day. 

 

I'm generally happy with the level of protein I'm getting. I had another omelette with bacon, avocado, and spinach after working out and I feel much less sore now than I did right before bed. I do want to be a little more on top of the intermittent fasting this week. I find I just naturally want to start eating later in the day, so 4pm-12am will be my eating window. I'm going to continue the daily walks and try to either do workouts every second day or two days on one day off. 

 

Anyway, I think I would call this week a success, despite not losing anything. A 1.5 inch loss is amazing for one week of effort. I'm just going to keep going and let it happen slowly. :)


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#15 Sweet Lime

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Posted 17 May 2020 - 08:20 PM

I'm on my bed rewatching Desperate Housewives feeling bloated af. Today was a bit of a cooking event for us that we dubbed "Pork Sunday." Breakfast was biscuits and gravy, lunch was hot dogs, and for dinner we had carnitas. Everything was made from scratch, from the sausages to the tortillas. It was so delicious and fun to make everything. Never thought I'd ever make sausage myself, but now I can say I have. I loved doing it together.

 

I thought having some tea afterward would help prevent bloating, but I was so wrong. So while I wait for the bloat to fade, I'm planning how best to eat this week and fighting to urge to get on the treadmill for an hour. I'll probably do it anyway to warm up my sore muscles a little. Then I think I'll prepare a batch of my quinoa/bean/lentil mix and work out what I'm going to eat everyday. I'm doing my best not to spend more than $50 on groceries this week, so my challenge will be to use what I already have in the house. 

 

Anyway, I'm trying to focus on how fun and wholesome today was rather than thinking of it as a mistake, especially at the beginning of the week. I know that I feel less than great because of all the extra salt and grease in the food we made today (seriously, that pork was so fatty). Tomorrow is a new day and I'll pick right back up and continue trying to improve one change at a time. Rome wasn't built in a day. 


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#16 Sweet Lime

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Posted 18 May 2020 - 03:29 PM

I'm trying out a little bit of a new tactic. My boyfriend is also beginning his weight loss journey and was talking with me about it earlier. He has different challenges than I do, so we're not doing exactly the same thing, but I'm going to borrow one of his strategies. Basically, what you do is space out your meals so that you eat every four hours, and after two hours you drink a cup of plain green tea. I didn't want to have to do anything quite so rigid, but last night I was having such awful anxiety and I think it had to do with my weigh and measure. I'll just try this for a week and see what happens, while continuing with my workouts, water, and IF (now 12:12).

 

Typically, I hate green tea, but I have a box of Tazo Green Tea Ginger that I've never used, and the first cup wasn't so bad at all. The schedule is going to go something like this:

 

12- breakfast

2- tea

4- lunch

6- tea

8- dinner

10- tea

12- dessert/snack  (if I feel like I need one)

2- tea before bed

 

Since I'm not allowed any sweetener in the tea, I can continue having it if I want it after my eating window has ended, so I like that. Sometimes all you really need is the action of holding a drink and having something to swallow to satisfy the desire to eat when you're not actually hungry. 

 

After my walk today, I cooked a mix consisting of quinoa, kidney beans, corn, kale, and lentils. Seasoned it really well so I won't get bored eating it and I think it'll taste really nice either cold or warm. A full cup of it equals to only 173 calories with over 11g protein. 

 

It's raining it's ass off right now and it's making me so sleepy. I'll probably just nap until dinner.


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#17 Sweet Lime

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Posted 18 May 2020 - 10:44 PM

Bf is filming again. Waterworld is the watch-along tonight and it's a three hour movie. Stuck in here for another hour and a half at least.

 

Monday (Day 9)

 

Breakfast- pink lady apple, clementine

 

Lunch- potato soup

 

Dinner- quinoa/bean/veg mix, ahi tuna steak, broccoletti and spinach w/ maple mustard sauce

 

Snack- nothing yet, but I'm wanting a bit of toast with raw maple spread

 

Exercise- 3 miles in 32 mins, thigh workout video x2 (x)

 

Water- 2.25L so far

 

Total - 791

 

 

 

Horrible anxiety today. I've ordered a supplement that was recommended by the gorgeous doctor who used to work at my old job's free health clinic. She was serious goals, just a beautiful, toned, warm, friendly woman who really believed in trying natural remedies before traditional medicine, but would never push it on you. I'd spoken to her over a year ago about my worsening anxiety and how I wasn't medicated and thought I should be. I did get a one time prescription for hydroxizine, which I don't care for, but sometimes have to take when I get really bad. What I remembered she talked about was a supplement that will actually work to bring your overstimulated adrenal glands back to proper levels of function. I need to try something because I'm not acting like myself. I want to be able to enjoy what little time in quarantine I have left instead of pacing around latching on to little things to worry about.

 

It's been worse this afternoon because my phone has decided to shit itself and is completely unusable. I ordered a new one with a new carrier even though I still have $300 left to pay on this shit phone. I'm sure I can get out of an early termination fee because I get no signal where I live and have to rely on wifi, which makes paying for the service practically pointless. Anyway, I'm stressing because I'm on the LoseIt app like every hour or so and it's making me itchy to not be able to check it. It's silly because at this point I know the calories of all the food I eat, but I still have the strongest urge to look at it.

 

Anyway, that's it for today. I don't know if anyone reads these.


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#18 Sweet Lime

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Posted 19 May 2020 - 10:15 PM

Tuesday (Day 10)

 

Breakfast- pink lady apple, salad with avocado, romaine, avo poblano dressing

 

Lunch- potato soup

 

Dinner- baked ginger sesame salmon, quinoa/bean/veg mix, spinach w/ maple mustard sauce

 

Snack- toast with maple almond butter, cup of kombucha

 

Exercise- same video as yesterday, just once

 

Water- 3L so far

 

Green tea- 4 cups

 

Total- 991~

 

 

Yesterday was the best day yet, as far as calories go. I feel so much lighter already eating this way and I honestly don't get hungry at all. Today I'm a little bit over on the calories, but I'm not so worried about it because so very little of what I ate came in a package and what put me over is the kombucha, which I want to include every night for the probiotics. Everything except for the almond butter and the kombucha were made from scratch, including the bread. I'm not minding the rigidness of the eating schedule. It's giving a little bit of structure to my day. Looking forward to the food every four hours just makes it taste that much better, and I can't believe how fast the time actually goes when I'm forced to focus on something other than planning to eat. That part is already done and I actually get to do other things like scrub the bathroom, put together a bug-out bag for my car, take a bath and actually relax in it. Because of that, today was really quite nice.


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#19 Sweet Lime

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Posted 20 May 2020 - 04:55 PM

Woke up today and bf told me I'm looking slimmer.  :wub:  :wub:  :wub:


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#20 Sweet Lime

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Posted 20 May 2020 - 10:10 PM

Wednesday (Day 11)

 

Breakfast- pink lady apple, salad with romaine, avocado, and avo poblano dressing

Lunch- potato soup

Dinner- salmon, quin/bean/lentil mix, maple mustard sauce

Snack- toast with maple almond butter, half a dinner roll, kombucha

Total- 1,000/1000

Exercise- 3.7miles/40minutes, videos 1x each (x) (x) (x)

Water- 2.25L

 

 

It's been raining for the last three days straight and my dogs have been getting on my nerves so badly. It's clear that this quarantine and the lack of certainty about the future has really been affecting me. I was new at my job when this whole thing started. By this point, I was supposed to have been able to reapply to my old job in the casino, but there won't be any hiring there for a long time. I had never decided if I was going to go back or not, but now that the option has been taken away, I'm at a loss. Work was my main source for socialization and I'm just really missing my friends now. I don't know what my job is going to be like when I go back, or even if I'll be able to return.

 

I wouldn't care at all if it weren't for the fact that we're moving this summer and landlords want to see that you have steady employment. I don't know if any of you have ever tried to find a house to rent with five pets, but it is fucking hard. Like I'm doing my best to be optimistic and manifest the perfect place for us, but the pressure is getting to me. I'm feeling myself slip further down into depression everyday. The only thing that can keep my attention is this website. I feel a disconnect from my pets, which is really devastating to me. Normally I'm constantly gazing at them, admiring the fact that they're little animals and they totally trust me, and now I look at them and feel strange. It's definitely to do with all the uncertainty of my life right now. Fairly sure that if just one thing falls into place that I can count on, I won't feel so much like I'm floating out in space without a tether.

 

Thank god for restricting and exercising or I'd have completely fallen apart already.


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