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#21 Sweet Lime

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Posted 21 May 2020 - 09:06 PM

Thursday (Day 12)

 

Breakfast- pink lady apple (80)

Lunch- potato soup (152)

Dinner- quin/bean/lentil mix (173), scrambled eggs (280)

Snack- toast w/ maple almond butter (186)

Total- 871/950

Water- 2L

Inspiration- Sanne Vloet (x)

 

 

 

Today was so busy and stressful and I had a minor breakdown. Bf was hungover this morning so I drove an hour and a half to see a house by myself, which was disappointing, but I really did need to get out by myself. My new phone arrived, and I tried for like three hours to get it how I'd like it, but I just ended up factory resetting it and plan to take it back tomorrow and cancel the whole service. My anxiety is so bad that I can't even deal with having a new cell carrier and a different brand cell phone, so I'm using my old galaxy s7 until I'm "ready" to replace it.

 

Had a bit of an argument with bf over my anxiety and depression being so bad right now. He apologized for being mean, but I hate when he gets frustrated with me over things I literally can't help. I try to explain to him that no, I'm not really having a breakdown over a cell phone, no I'm not actually crying over dishes. Those are outlets that my anxiety is using.

 

On top of everything else, quitting alcohol has been more difficult emotionally than I thought. I didn't have any physical withdrawals because I'd been working up to this for months, but I'm absolutely affected mentally. It's for the best, and making better choices for yourself is almost never the easy thing to do. I'm not doing ANY of this because it's easier than what I did before. It's incredibly hard, but it's all going to be so worth it, and in some ways already is worth it. 

 

I'll feel so much better if I can just get this house locked in and have one less giant thing to worry about. I'm going to work on my mental state more in the meantime by taking the supplements, continuing to work out and eat better and less. I never stay like this for very long.


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#22 Sweet Lime

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Posted 22 May 2020 - 09:39 PM

Friday (Day 13)

 

Breakfast- skipped

Lunch- salad with romaine, avocado, shrimp, kale, quin/bean/veg mix, avo poblano dressing (306)

Dinner- scrambled eggs, quin/bean/veg mix, broccoli maple mustard sauce (453)

Snacks- toast with almond butter again, kombucha, roll with butter (365)

Total- 1124/1100

Exercise- 3.7mi/41mins, workouts A, B, and D

 

 

It looks like we're getting the house after all. The lady is going to text me after the weekend with a time to meet and get the whole rigmarole going. I couldn't be more relieved and have moved on to the fun part of scouring ebay, amazon, and etsy for fun things to fill the house with. My housewarming present to myself is going to be a vintage kitty cat clock for my retro kitchen. I just really hope it doesn't fall through.

 

Verizon is sending me a pre-labeled box to send back the phone, so that's a small load off my mind. It's ridiculous, but at this point in time I need the comfort of my old little phone. 

 

The stress has been doing wonders for my diet, though. Maybe I should try to be a busier person going forward and won't need such rigid rules with scheduling when to eat. It definitely seems I've lost weight this week, judging just from the way I look and how my clothes are fitting. Shorts that were snug on my hips and had my smushed bagel ass hanging out the bottom are now filled out in the butt and loose in the hips. My skin is really clear from all the water and tea and I have definition in my waist again. I forgot what I even used to look like. If I can keep this up for a couple of months, I might actually be happy with my body by the end of the summer.


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#23 Sweet Lime

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Posted 24 May 2020 - 03:15 AM

Saturday (Day 14)

 

Breakfast- golden delicious apple, salad w/ avocado, shrimp, and avo/poblano dressing

Lunch- potato soup

Dinner- quin/bean/veg mix, salmon, broccoli, maple mustard sauce

Snack- toast w/ natural crunchy peanut butter, kombucha

Water- 3L

Total- 1,016/1150

 

 

It might be the placebo effect, but the Drenamin seems to be helping with the anxiety. Or the fact that I am now spending hours a day absorbed in research for one thing or another. Having a new house to decorate and fill with furniture on a shoestring budget, and getting ready to start filming content for a youtube channel have completely filled these last couple of days. It's been a relief to not be scrolling this website all day long and having to hide the tab every time my bf walked by me. When I wake up, I'll do my second weigh and measure and post the results. 


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#24 Sweet Lime

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Posted 24 May 2020 - 07:56 PM

Day 15 Weigh and Measure

 

I've only lost 1.2 pounds this week, which seems impossible, and I want to be disappointed. My inner scale junkie immediately told me to do an apple mono the moment I saw the number, but the last thing I need to do is deprive myself too much and end up losing the balance that I've been keeping this week. When I took a second to think logically, I knew that drinking so much water everyday is causing the extra weight to stay on me, Averaging 3 liters everyday equals to 6.6 pounds. That's a lot of water weight and I know I'm never even close to being rid of it because my pee is always clear. That, in addition to whatever my food weight is is probably averaging 8-10 lbs total pounds going into my body on a daily basis. So I'm going to decrease my water intake to 1.5-2 liters per day. I think I've reached the maximum benefit of drinking tons of water and have reached the point of diminishing returns. With the 4-5 cups of tea I'm drinking, 2 liters is probably plenty. 

 

When it comes to my measurements, I was pleased to find that I've lost inches all over. 

 

Bust- 37 (-2)

Waist- 32 (-1)

Hips- 42.5 (-.5)

Thigh- 22.5 (-.5)

Arm- 11 (-.5)

 

As long as my body is visually changing, I'm happy. As long as my body feels good, I'm happy. The goal here is to be impressed with myself and to know that I did all of it on my own. After a while, it'll require less and less of my focus and just become part of my everyday life. The key to getting there is just to keep going. 


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#25 Sweet Lime

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Posted 25 May 2020 - 01:59 AM

Sunday (Day 15)

 

Breakfast- apple (80)

Lunch- salad w/ romaine, kale, avocado, shrimp, dressing (220)

(v late) Dinner/Snack- eggs on toast (256)

Total- 556/900

Exercise- 2mi/20min, videos A-D 

Water- 1.5L

 

Got dizzy toward the end of my workout and had to stop halfway through the arm video. Laid down for a bit, had a cup of tea and felt much better. Dinner is happening over three hours late, if you can call it that. Got completely absorbed in a project and just didn't feel hungry. So tired now, going to eat and put myself to bed.


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#26 Sweet Lime

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Posted 25 May 2020 - 07:02 AM

Got up to feed the dogs and decided to weigh myself again. 163.8 is more like it. :)


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#27 Sweet Lime

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Posted 26 May 2020 - 02:01 AM

Monday (Day 16)

 

Breakfast- .5 cup bolognese sauce, half of a biscuit

Lunch- salad w/ romaine, avocado, shrimp, and dressing

Dinner- omelet with kale and broccoli

Snack- kombucha

Total- 787/800


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#28 Sweet Lime

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Posted 26 May 2020 - 03:28 AM

If anyone was wondering what one of the pitfalls of recording for your cooking video at 4am might be, it's that no one is awake to eat what you made. I think I just consumed like 500 extra calories. 

 

It was so good, all from scratch and virtually free of refined sugar though, so I'm not going to give myself a hard time about it. It was all in the name of learning.


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#29 Sweet Lime

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Posted 27 May 2020 - 04:25 AM

Tuesday (Day 17)

 

Breakfast- apple

Lunch- potato soup

Dinner- quin/bean/lentil/veg, baked flounder

Snack- kombucha, dark chocolate

Total- 881/900

 

Slept for 12 hours and struggled with allergies all day. It's like the inside of my head is itchy and all I can do is pop a benadryl. Hopefully it clears up and my routine can go back to normal tomorrow. 

 

Kind of mad at myself for eating the chocolate. It's Hershey's, so there's so much sugar I couldn't even enjoy them. 

 

Just finished watching Bombshell and it made me feel so huge. Charlize Theron and Nicole Kidman are literally the two most beautiful women on earth. There's nothing I can do to become 5'10" but there is nothing keeping me from being slim and poised. I know I just need to have patience and channel their grace. Just have to stay focused.


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#30 Sweet Lime

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Posted 28 May 2020 - 03:19 AM

Wednesday (Day 18)

 

Breakfast- apple

Lunch- soup

Dinner- eggs with quinoa/bean/lentil/broccoli/kale/corn

Snack- apple, homemade natural unsweetened peanut butter, kombucha

Total- 844/900

Exercise- 3mi/30min

 

 

Bought myself two lipsticks from Melt as a treat. Might go thrifting tomorrow to break up the drudgery. 


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#31 Sweet Lime

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 01:25 AM

Thursday (Day 19)

 

Breakfast- pink lady apple, almonds

Lunch- potato soup

Dinner- usual mix, eggs

Snack- apple w/ peanut butter

Total- 924/950

Exercise- B, D

Water- 1.5L

 

 

I went to four different shops today looking for cacao butter to make my own chocolates with, but couldn't find it anywhere. I did, however, discover a cute health food store in town with every fair trade, organic, gluten-free, vegan, sugarless, sustainable, etc. type of product, and got some farm fresh eggs from the stand before one of my turns. The old man didn't have a working card reader and I had no cash, but he insisted I take my eggs and just pay him tomorrow. Never had a transaction quite like that. The eggs were all beautiful colors and speckled and were the best tasting eggs I've ever had.


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#32 Sweet Lime

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 10:42 PM

Friday (Day 20)

 

Breakfast- pink lady apple

Lunch- skipped

Dinner- usual mix, eggs

Snack- apple and peanut butter, kombucha

Total- 732/1100

Exercise- A, B, D

Water- maybe half a liter, not really trying anymore

 

 

Not feeling very good about anything. I feel like I'm working really hard for two major things in my life and achieving minimal results. It's really frustrating and I'm tired. I do not relax, ever. I can't sit back and just watch a show or a movie without my anxiety driving me to distraction. The lady with the house I thought we could rent has been ignoring me for a full week, so I've responded to like 30 listings over the last three days. Finding a place for me and my family to live is so much more important than losing weight. I know that, logically. Not feeling it mentally at all. 


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#33 Sweet Lime

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Posted 30 May 2020 - 09:25 PM

I don't even want to post about today. 

 

At 2000 calories now because I went off course and didn't enjoy any of my food, then had a fight and went on a drive for two hours and was just defeated when I got back. 

 

Going to take an anxiety pill, enjoy my coke zero and sleep for twelve hours.


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#34 Sweet Lime

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Posted 31 May 2020 - 02:04 PM

Weigh & Measure 

 

Weight- 164.2lbs

 

Bust- 32.5 (+.5)

Waist- 31.5 (-.5)

Hips- 42 (-.5)

Thigh- 21.5 (-1)

Arm- 11

 

 

I'm really tired of this. I'm going to start weighing ever morning to see what exactly is causing the weight to stay on. I didn't do much the first week, but the last two weeks I've stuck with the calorie budget all but two days. I should be seeing more of a difference on the scale. It doesn't make any sense. Oh well. 


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#35 AmethystAna

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Posted 31 May 2020 - 03:22 PM

Hey I am a higher restrictor doing intermittent fasting too. I am sorry that your anxiety is so bad. Congrats on getting the house. I am so stressed about where I am going to live next too.
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#36 Sweet Lime

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Posted 31 May 2020 - 09:18 PM

Hey I am a higher restrictor doing intermittent fasting too. I am sorry that your anxiety is so bad. Congrats on getting the house. I am so stressed about where I am going to live next too.

 

Who ever knew how difficult it would be just to live somewhere???  :wacko:


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#37 Sweet Lime

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Posted 31 May 2020 - 09:27 PM

Sunday (Day 22)

 

Breakfast- tea

Lunch- soup

Dinner- usual mix, eggs

Snack- apple, peanut butter, 2 chocolates

Total- 835/900

Water- 1.5L

 

 

 

I made some chocolates today using just cacao butter, cacao powder, pure maple syrup, coconut oil and a little bit of salt. I made half of them just salted chocolates and layered the rest with some of my peanut butter, which was just made with roasted peanuts, a little honey and a little salt. They actually came out so much better than I expected and I calculate them to be approximately 70 calories per piece. They're just as sweet as I like them and so, so dark. I love knowing there's nothing artificial in them at all. 


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#38 AmethystAna

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Posted 31 May 2020 - 09:47 PM

Yum. I love homemade chocolate for the same reason


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Gluten free-veg*n accountability


#39 Sweet Lime

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Posted 01 June 2020 - 12:15 PM

Yum. I love homemade chocolate for the same reason

 

It gets the job done without being a fear food, can't lose. Wish I'd started doing it years ago.


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#40 Sweet Lime

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Posted 01 June 2020 - 01:01 PM

Regardless of the higher calorie days, going forward my calories must be between 600 and 800 everyday with the focus being on protein and fiber. My kettle bell will no longer gather dust in the spare room. The 12:12 fasting will now be 16:8 with the spaces between eating closer to three hours, which will mean slightly smaller portion sizes. As many cups of black tea as I want. 

 

Bf is very kindly doing the errands this time. I only hope he is patient and follows the list that I tried to make as helpful and clear as possible for him. The reason I do the shopping 90% of the time is that he just wants to get in and get out, which is very time effective, but usually results in a less than satisfactory haul. But no matter what, I'll be grateful that he's taking care of things this week. He's also promised that he'll take a break from watching the riot streams and we'll watch a movie together tonight. 

 

It's been raining for the last two weeks straight and today is finally a sunny day. Going to sit outside with some tea and start a new book. 


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