Thursday (Day 12)
Breakfast- pink lady apple (80)
Lunch- potato soup (152)
Dinner- quin/bean/lentil mix (173), scrambled eggs (280)
Snack- toast w/ maple almond butter (186)
Inspiration- Sanne Vloet (x)
Today was so busy and stressful and I had a minor breakdown. Bf was hungover this morning so I drove an hour and a half to see a house by myself, which was disappointing, but I really did need to get out by myself. My new phone arrived, and I tried for like three hours to get it how I'd like it, but I just ended up factory resetting it and plan to take it back tomorrow and cancel the whole service. My anxiety is so bad that I can't even deal with having a new cell carrier and a different brand cell phone, so I'm using my old galaxy s7 until I'm "ready" to replace it.
Had a bit of an argument with bf over my anxiety and depression being so bad right now. He apologized for being mean, but I hate when he gets frustrated with me over things I literally can't help. I try to explain to him that no, I'm not really having a breakdown over a cell phone, no I'm not actually crying over dishes. Those are outlets that my anxiety is using.
On top of everything else, quitting alcohol has been more difficult emotionally than I thought. I didn't have any physical withdrawals because I'd been working up to this for months, but I'm absolutely affected mentally. It's for the best, and making better choices for yourself is almost never the easy thing to do. I'm not doing ANY of this because it's easier than what I did before. It's incredibly hard, but it's all going to be so worth it, and in some ways already is worth it.
I'll feel so much better if I can just get this house locked in and have one less giant thing to worry about. I'm going to work on my mental state more in the meantime by taking the supplements, continuing to work out and eat better and less. I never stay like this for very long.