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Looking for my tribe


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#21 Disciplined gal

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Posted 22 July 2020 - 10:50 PM

Hi Angel, I am so sorry you went through that with your ex husband. I have to say I am glad you are not in that situation anymore. It used to hurt my feelings and bother me that my husband doesn’t give me compliments or seem attracted to me. He never tells me I am beautiful or that I look good. So I stopped caring to be honest. How I look and what I do is for me and for how I feel about myself. I don’t need validation from him anymore.
  • *~pixie angelheart~* likes this
Last starting weight: 130
———————————
Current weight: 109.5
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Goal weight 1= 110
Goal weight 2= 105
Goal weight 3= 100

#22 ProDancer

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Posted 22 July 2020 - 11:04 PM

I hadn’t thought about it that way. Yes my husband genuinely cares for me. I handle 100% of home responsibilities including raising our daughter. He’d be up a creek without me, but is aware of it. I assumed all spouses were like mine (rides my tail daily to eat more, gain weight, monitors my dinner and weight <fortunately he works in the day, so can’t monitor my day-fasting> he talks to my folks and friends about it which embarrassed me completely stresses me out). Thank you for this insight Angel.
So good you left your ex!!! I’m sure it would be stressful if my husband didn’t notice. It would certainly be worse if he wanted this to kill me. I’ve been in my fair share of bad relationships, including one very long term relationship with a dance partner that ended horribly. I am confident he wanted me to die as well. The best revenge is living my best life. Fortunately I chose my husband well and didn’t marry that lying, cheating succubant. The more time passes, the more thankful I am that that relationship ended. Making the move is hard and lonely. If he tries to reel you back in, I hope you can resist the bait.
  • *~pixie angelheart~* and Disciplined gal like this

#23 ProDancer

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Posted 29 July 2020 - 10:45 AM

I posted this in another forum, but one of the members said this might be a better fit. I’m 48 and a mom to 5. I went through menopause at 45. I’m struggling with binge eating and heavy restricting. I’ve never had a normal relationship with food. It’s always one or the other. I’m going through a divorce and I’m really struggling with losing weight. I’m mostly restricting right now because it’s the only thing that gives me a sense of control in my life, but the weight is just not coming off. Anyone in the same boat as me? I’m feeling very alone lately.



#24 ProDancer

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Posted 29 July 2020 - 10:56 AM

Just curious — are you having a challenge controlling appetite? Or consuming the same calories, but still gaining?

#25 ProDancer

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Posted 29 July 2020 - 01:49 PM

Omg this is exactly what I came here to ask! I am 43. Only 3years ago I was 85 lbs bmi 14. Had NO trouble losing any weight up until now. I am a master at it, honestly it's been the one thing I feel like I'm good at when all else fails, you know? I have had anorexia purging type on and off over the years of recovery/relapse since I was 13. I can tell you how many calories is in everything.
Anyway, my health was worse than it had ever been, my family was begging me to get help etc, so recovery happened. And for a while I worked so hard at it, at being OK with my bigger body and being able to eat dessert again was AWESOME! I normally (during recovery times) settle into 130 lbs as a set point weight, so that's what I expected. I went to 135, I was like ok that's fine I guess... but my doc put me on an anxiety med which made me gain 15 lbs in 4 weeks! I figured out it was the pills and stopped them. Then at 150 started to diet just a bit to go back to normal. I went down to 145 pretty fast, but for the last 6 weeks I am averaging 500-800 cals per day and only lost 2 freaking lbs! Most days I'm eating less than I did at my lowest! Wtf is going on?? I hate it. I'm sweaty. Can't even look in mirrors or at pictures. Constantly check out my old skinny pics. Ugh. I am definitely full on relapsed now. Ate icecream yesterday and purged for the first time in a long time. I am so ashamed. I dont know what to do. I had this evil disorder.



#26 ProDancer

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Posted 29 July 2020 - 01:51 PM

Hi Grower! I’m curious, do you feel your challenge staying slim now is due to appetite, lack of exercise, being stuck at home surrounded by family when eating, eating as much as before but metabolism lowering due to age?

#27 shannie

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Posted 08 August 2020 - 04:21 PM

I posted this in another forum, but one of the members said this might be a better fit. I’m 48 and a mom to 5. I went through menopause at 45. I’m struggling with binge eating and heavy restricting. I’ve never had a normal relationship with food. It’s always one or the other. I’m going through a divorce and I’m really struggling with losing weight. I’m mostly restricting right now because it’s the only thing that gives me a sense of control in my life, but the weight is just not coming off. Anyone in the same boat as me? I’m feeling very alone lately.

I so hear you! I got divorced after over 20 years of marriage and I went through menopause two years ago and boy, is it a game changer! You’re definitely not alone. Weight loss after menopause IS POSSIBLE, but it’s slow and frustrating.

I have no idea how to properly diet or cut back or whatever. It’s all or nothing...I’m either starving myself or on a binge. I honestly can’t conceive of how else to lose weight.

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling with all of this but I’m really glad you’re here.
xo
Ht. 5'3"
CW 79
BMI 14

LW 78
GW ???

#28 Morvern

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Posted 17 November 2020 - 04:38 AM

Hi there

I’m a mum of two, I’m in my 40s and have been sick since my early teens. I have been in and out of treatment and currently take medication which helps a bit, but I am still overweight and suffer a lot from that. I’m looking for people who would like to keep in touch by some form of chat like WhatsApp, signal or messenger, if there is anyone here? There are a lot of similar groups but people are generally quite young and I feel that I don’t want to influence very young peoples illnesses and also it’s sometimes That those of us who are a bit older struggle in another way, for instance with kids and family and the fact that losing weight is so much more complicated when you get older

#29 deceptivereflections

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Posted 23 November 2020 - 09:29 AM

Omg this is exactly what I came here to ask! I am 43. Only 3years ago I was 85 lbs bmi 14. Had NO trouble losing any weight up until now. I am a master at it, honestly it's been the one thing I feel like I'm good at when all else fails, you know? I have had anorexia purging type on and off over the years of recovery/relapse since I was 13. I can tell you how many calories is in everything.
Anyway, my health was worse than it had ever been, my family was begging me to get help etc, so recovery happened. And for a while I worked so hard at it, at being OK with my bigger body and being able to eat dessert again was AWESOME! I normally (during recovery times) settle into 130 lbs as a set point weight, so that's what I expected. I went to 135, I was like ok that's fine I guess... but my doc put me on an anxiety med which made me gain 15 lbs in 4 weeks! I figured out it was the pills and stopped them. Then at 150 started to diet just a bit to go back to normal. I went down to 145 pretty fast, but for the last 6 weeks I am averaging 500-800 cals per day and only lost 2 freaking lbs! Most days I'm eating less than I did at my lowest! Wtf is going on?? I hate it. I'm sweaty. Can't even look in mirrors or at pictures. Constantly check out my old skinny pics. Ugh. I am definitely full on relapsed now. Ate icecream yesterday and purged for the first time in a long time. I am so ashamed. I dont know what to do. I had this evil disorder.I

 

I am in the same situation. 5 years ago I was loosing weight at 500 calories / day, even when my BMI hit 15 it slowed down but was still there. Wham bang menopause, now I am lucky to loose half a lb a week while at 500 calories. I suspect that the loss of muscle mass plays part of it, though I am active at work - easily 15,000 steps a day -  and juggle family life as well (53, mom to 2 teenagers).

 

I quit my pack a day cigarette habit one year ago and immediately gained 15 lbs. Quarantine added another 10 lbs. Right now I'd loss to loose part of it, if only to fit into more than two pairs of fat pants.

 

More often than naught these days I see myself in the mirror and wonder "when did I get old?"


~~~~~ deceptivereflections ~~~~~

Age: 49
Height: 5' 4”
HW pregnant: 160 lbs

HW non-pregnant: 145 lbs
CW: 101 lbs
LW: 92 lbs
GW: maintenance 95-96 lbs



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