97 replies to this topic

[AlexBrandi]

My partner knows that I was in recovery 2 times during my teenage years. 
Now he just thinks that I simply don't eat a lot and that it's normal for me he thinks I'm a diet/fitness junkie. 
 

[babydoll8]

He knows there is something up but he doesn’t take it seriously or really notice my ED behaviors. I’m not in his face about it but I don’t hide it either.

[Winchesters-Angel]

My fiance knows, we just dont really talk about it. I think he has a hard time believing since we're both overweight... or maybe he just gets it and doesnt say anything... hes found all of my thinspo I had saved, which I thought I deleted, but I guess it backed up to my google account. Yikes. He called it my "suicidal stuff" but we didnt really talk much about it.

I used to purposely fast for 24 hours when I knew we were going to hook up, because the next morning afterwards I'd be 2lbs lighter, every time. He used to use drugs to try and lose the weight. Hes been clean over a year, I had "recovered" due to pregnancy... but oh well.

Let's see if he notices this recent relapse.

[skyfishing]

I'm just seeing someone casually at the moment, but I would try to be as honest and straightforward as possible if I entered a relationship. The way I see it, having an ED is bad enough. I don't need to be a manipulative liar as well. I also can't be bothered to try to hide my behavior from someone I'm close to. It would make me miserable. I'd rather be alone than have to pretend I don't measure my food or feel like a dickhead for pretending that I'm not fully aware of what I'm doing.

[cloudydaygrace]

my SO of 6 years knows about my ED and is very supportive and encourages me to recover. he struggles w body image as well so our conversations flow easily. lately i have been kind of relapsing, and i've tried to tell him but i find it hard to say everything. i don't want him to watch too closely, because i really need to lose weight lmao

[eatliketheabnegation]

my bf knows everything and just doesnt seem to fuckin get it? at all? like i guess its good cause he doesnt ask any questions and just takes everything in stride. 

 

I eat 2 bags of chips and 3 bowls of ramen and then go "pee" ? nothin

I pause the movie we're watching 4 times cause we just ate dinner and i keep snacking and have to "pee"? nothin

I dont eat all day and then start crying in a diner because ive ordered something weird? "aw hun you good?"

lost 30 pounds in 2 months? "yeah i guess theres a difference?" after pressing him for fuckin 20 minutes

 

just fuckin i wish once he would say SOMETHING to the effect of concern

[afro-dite]

My bf knows that I'm fat. I've been gaining since we started dating. I know that bothers him. He'll try and make it about my "health" but I know it's because no one likes fat girls.

 

He comes to therapy with me and I admitted to purging and self harm and everything but the thing is: I'm still fat. 

 

So no one really cares or believes me.

[birdhi]

My partner is pretty in touch with my ED as he knew about it prior to us dating. I've progressively gotten worse throughout our relationship which has been really difficult for him (I feel incredibly guilty and ashamed for putting him through so much stress, I wish I could take his worries away...) But he's been immensely supportive for me throughout our relationship (we've now been together ~4 years). For a while we had difficulty in setting boundaries as far as *how* supportive he should be. It's difficult to draw a line between being a support person versus becoming their caregiver/being overbearing (which only makes both of us more stressed and perpetuates secrecy). I feel like lately we've been in a good balance. He even has my physician's contact information and in the end I'm just so grateful he does what he can (and continues to stay with my lmao.)

[.Lilith.]

Before i got together with my partner i told him everything what is wrong with me mental health wise.I was just sick to keep pretending and is kinda easier to explain how im feeling and when im not eating.

he doesnt like it,but he kinda understands and doesnt take my control away.

[sidewalk]

Restricting
Purging
Don't update him on binging //all the time// but he knows like 70% of them bc I don't wanna stress him out
Some overexercising
.
Basically all my past behaviors but I get away w minor ones like a large percentage of the time bc it's normal af to me now.
He tries to help smtimes but most of the time I'm like...chilling w the ed and just stuck..

[Ana's_Darling]

He knows and wants the best for me. Supportive as hell and I love it but I also feel guilty for acting out on my behaviours because I feel like I'm letting my future husband down but at the ame time I feel MEGA guilty when I'm not listening to my ED urges blehh 

 

I told him tonight "Would you rather me not eat or puke everything I eat? Beause I'm going to do one or the other to lose weight and gain control and you won't stop me" *BITCHY IK I'M SORRY BABE IK YOURE NOT READING THIS BUT I LOVE YOU  * 

 

HE goes "neither but you're gonna do whatever you're gonna do with me here or not (I'm on sick leave and he's working) so puke i think because at least you won't be able to puke every single thing up and you'll get some nutrients. And you showed me your goal and I know you won't go too crazy with it like you won't weight 60lbs or anything so I'd rather you keep some of the nurtients rather none".  He knows about my past and he said he doesn't even want me that small anyway (at my GW around 110 bc I wasn't showing him the pics in my signature that I actually want to look like) but he said he'd support me as long as I didn't get too too small or too too sick. 

[inwonderland9]

Wow, it’s kind of amazing that do many people have told their partners.

I’ve been with my guy for 9 years. He knows only a tiny bit of it. He thinks I have binge eating issues, because that’s what I have him believe. But really it’s BP, C&S, or throwing things away that makes the food disappear sometimes. He has no idea about the restricting or anything else. We are even at home together all the time now and I manage to have him not find out too much. He has an office and shits himself in there during the day. I make it look like I eat breakfast, and overall more than I do by leaving dishes around. Seems to be working. I’m not super small or anything, probably because of the bp stuff. (BMI 18.7 rn I think) But, if I’m not even sure he’d notice if I lost like 15 pounds, he never seems to.

[blondeandskinny]

My fiancé knows absolutely nothing. Ironically he was the one who triggered my relapse. Out of curiosity I had asked him if he had ever dated someone who had an physical impairment or disability (because we were watching a show where a couple was navigating what it was like to deal with such a natural thing) and his only response was that he dated someone with an eating disorder. He's mentioned like three times over the course of of our relationship (1 year and a half) how skinny she was. He doesn't realize how terribly it triggers me. I guess it's because I've become such a huge cow over quarantine and I'm not withering away like her.

[blondeandskinny]

my SO of 6 years knows about my ED and is very supportive and encourages me to recover. he struggles w body image as well so our conversations flow easily. lately i have been kind of relapsing, and i've tried to tell him but i find it hard to say everything. i don't want him to watch too closely, because i really need to lose weight lmao

you got me 

[lazyveins]

I've only mentioned that I was worried about losing quarantine weight because I can get a bit obsessive, so however he took that is all he knows. I'm really open about my depression/anxiety and he's helped me through panic attacks and double checks with me that I've taken my meds that day. He's really wonderful but I'm still really uncomfortable with him knowing about food issues.

[cambri]

He knows about it since I went through a bad relapse a few months into our relationship, but that was a couple years ago and he isn’t fully aware of how badly I’ve relapsed this time. I mean he notices that I lost weight and that I had a crying panic attack about bread last week, but he doesn’t know how obsessive I am now.

[skinnyhumanoid]

My fiancé knows absolutely nothing. Ironically he was the one who triggered my relapse. Out of curiosity I had asked him if he had ever dated someone who had an physical impairment or disability (because we were watching a show where a couple was navigating what it was like to deal with such a natural thing) and his only response was that he dated someone with an eating disorder. He's mentioned like three times over the course of of our relationship (1 year and a half) how skinny she was. He doesn't realize how terribly it triggers me. I guess it's because I've become such a huge cow over quarantine and I'm not withering away like her.

What’s the use of telling you how skinny she was? There’s no possible scenario in my head that justifies this. It seems unnecessary and mean. I‘m sorry for you, this must be incredibly triggering.

[bunny 𐐪𐑂]

i've been with my ldr boyfriend for 6 months in total.

we first came together in september of 2019, then broke up in january of 2020, and started dating again in november of 2020.

i'm not sure if i had told him about my ed when we dated for the first time.. anyway i think i briefly mentioned my eating disorder to him when i was venting the other day, but we didn't have a convo about it cuz i just mentioned it once then went on about other stuff that was making me feel bad lol...

 

so i'd say he might kind of know, i don't really wanna tell him explicitly but also wouldn't keep it a secret if he were to ask me about it