first let me say it's amazing to know that i'm not alone, because i definitely kind of feel like an asshole complaining about gaining weight while pregnant when i know there's hundreds or thousands of women who can't have babies and i should feel blessed that i'm able create a life and it is beautiful and a miracle and all of that stuff...
my bf thinks i'm just the vainest person on the planet i've been with him for five years he is very aware of my eating disorder but hates it, hates addressing it at all, hates when i say anything about food or my weight doesn't realize the severity of the disease so whatever can't talk to him
my friends and family don't know i'm pregnant and i'm somewhat terrified to tell them, i lost custody permanently of my first born daughter (i was a drug addict it was a long time ago) i've also had child protective services involved with my 3 year (they are in fact still involved) and back in January my bf and i went through an insanely nasty breakup (i actually had a full on mental breakdown which led to me getting arrested and being homeless for a month and half, in the dead of winter in Massachusetts ... awesome) so a lot of people feel like my bf and i shouldn't be together let alone be having another baby so...there's that
i haven't been to a doctor yet (first appointment is Wednesday) because yay COVID and also i really thought about not keeping the baby (see above) I *think* i'm at the end of my first trimester or very beginning of my second
for the first two months i've been a lazy fat ass ordering take-out and parked on the couch so i gained a lot of weight early on - i don't know my starting weight i'm gonna say probably 133ish because i was homeless for a month and a half i also have no idea what i weigh now i'll find out on wednesday yay
anyway i'm going to be using this thread for venting about daily shit that annoys me (there's a lot of things)
like how my bf "accidentally" took my debit card to work with him today so i can't go shopping for healthy stuff to cook for dinner
like how my refridgerator broke two weeks ago and my landlord still hasn't replaced it (the freezer still works, but i can't keep fresh fruits or veggies or milk or juice or leftovers (i cook a lot)
like how i'm now a stay at home mom even though my son went back to daycare but i'm still home all day (i will def be bitching about this a lot)
like how i was just on hold with my therapist for 20 minutes and the soonest she can telehealth an appointment with me is june 30th
but also this is for accountability i need to watch what i eat everyday Healthy stuff between 1500 and 2000
and exercise exercise EXERCISE
thank you that is all for now