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What is the thing you swore you'd never break in your ED?

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Posted 27 June 2020 - 08:14 AM

Let's be honest, we all were on our lowest points at some time, but what was the thing you swore yourself you would never break? Like for me it's eating from the trash.

And if you had this resolution did you break it? I'm just curious.

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cw: 47 kg
lw: 45 kg
gw: 43 kg
ugw: 40 kg
h: 160 cm

#2 jackalyvia


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Posted 27 June 2020 - 08:40 AM

I will never be more than 123 in my life (18.4bmi)
"Beatus istos ille, circa pes ad terra" (Blessed art thou with thier feet to the ground)<p>-RUNNING IS LIFE-

#3 stuckinhosp


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Posted 27 June 2020 - 09:28 AM

Never mind eating fries but I did one night when I was drunk

#4 confused.comm



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Posted 27 June 2020 - 09:47 AM

yo i ate from the trash a couple times. really made me reflect on my life.

I used to be a vegan n now i eat fish like on the daily n i still feel hella guilty everytime :(

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​Sw: 155 (bmi 21.6)  Cw: 121.2  (bmi 16.9)

Gw: 116 (bmi 16.2)  Ugw: 108 (bmi 15.1)

​5'11 Female x

#5 RomanticMisanthropist


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Posted 27 June 2020 - 09:50 AM

Eaten from the rubbish too, ugh bad times

Non-binary. AN for 9 years. I'd like to recover but is it really ever gonna happen? Really? Currently major relapsing.

Also bpd af

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BMI: 14.7

Height: 5'8 / 174cm

CW: 44.7kg  / 98lbs

GW: 45kg / 99lbs     Achievement get!!!!!!!

GW2: 42kg / 92.5lbs (lol)

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#6 yoichi


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Posted 27 June 2020 - 09:59 AM

Become dependent on laxatives. I started abusing them and was drinking smooth move tea every night, finally decided to cut them out and I just deal with having a BM like once a week. I like my digestive system in tact

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First weigh in: 5.11.20
Last weigh in: 7.06.20
Next weigh in: 7.07.20
CW: 123.0 lbs
Height: 5'5'' | GW1: 125  | GW2: 120 | GW3: 112 | UGW:107





#7 chokingonholywater



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Posted 27 June 2020 - 02:21 PM

that i'll never start smoking as an appetite suppressant - i'm broke and my lungs already barely work, plus cigarettes reek. and i havent broken so far :')

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hw: 159lbs

lw: 104lbs

cw: 112lbs

bmi: 18.1


be good to yourself!!

#8 pastafreak



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Posted 27 June 2020 - 02:22 PM

go lower than BMI 14 

#9 Hanna94



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Posted 27 June 2020 - 02:35 PM

I swore to never lower my goalweight and that I would never purge. Guilty of both :-/

#10 sadcaroline



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Posted 27 June 2020 - 02:37 PM

to not lie when asked about it all. im full of lies now :/

#11 ChibiBunny



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Posted 27 June 2020 - 02:40 PM

At the beginning there was a lot I said I would never do that I've done. Never jeopardize my health, never purge, never lie about eating. I've broken all of those.

The ones I haven't broken:


-eating from the trash

-purging in front of someone

-going on another binge (since my ED switched from BED to AN)

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Currently trying to beat my lowest BMI and get down into the single digits so I can maybe finally feel worthy of recovering.

Feeling like a failure in every other aspect of life so I'm just waiting until I can destroy myself without interruption. 

#12 ThatSally



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Posted 27 June 2020 - 03:12 PM

not going under bmi 15 because i want to have a child one day

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#13 Salty_And_Sassy_Sarcasm101



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Posted 27 June 2020 - 03:33 PM

I said I'd never purge.



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“If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, you can find out first-hand what it’s like to be me”

Don't  mind me, just cruisin' in the ocean of  identity finding, all while trying to lose a fuck ton of weight.

Diagnosis: PTSD, Social Anxiety, General Anxiety, EDNOS, Depression

Stay safe!






Height: 5'8.5"

Weight: 164 lbs (BMI 25 [ew])

GW 1: 130 lbs

GW 2: 115 lbs

GW 3: 100 lbs

GW 4: 95 lbs

UGW: 85  lbs / death(?)




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#14 DirtyHoney



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Posted 27 June 2020 - 04:39 PM

Eating beef and pork and peanut butter. I hadn't eaten meat for a few years...and then one night I went crazy with meat lasgna...I've eaten a huge huge ziplock size of peanut m & Ms and promising myself I'd stop but it was too late and I finish the bag & purged..I felt disgusting

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#15 meee


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Posted 27 June 2020 - 04:44 PM

eating from the trash, puking in the bag, shit my pants due to overdose on laxitives... done all of that...

atm im severly restricting and im lying to my husband a lot...and i promised myself that i would never lie to him...

They yell at me because I can't see what they see. Nobody can explain to me why my eyes work different than theirs. Nobody can make it stop.


#16 _Juniper_



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Posted 27 June 2020 - 04:59 PM

That I would never relapse or become ill again, for the sake of my family and also my own fertility looking to the future. I decided this in Jan 2018.

But I broke it about 2 months or so ago. I wish I hadn't.
AN purging subtype
currently relapsing, courtesy of Lady 'Rona

#17 kmskmskmskms



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Posted 27 June 2020 - 05:13 PM

that i would never lie to my mom. that actually lasted like a year but i woke up one day and just didn’t care anymore, all i wanted to do was get to my gw.

#18 kmskmskmskms



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Posted 27 June 2020 - 05:13 PM

double posted (again) lol

#19 coldskin


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Posted 27 June 2020 - 05:15 PM

Chew and spit, never again

#20 94 hours

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Posted 27 June 2020 - 05:30 PM

When I was 14 I swore I'd stop purging and I even did for almost 6 years, but I broke that a few months ago.


Also at that age I've sworn that I'll never binge (like actually binge, not just eating mainteinance or some shit) and I've never done that. Sometimes I buy a bunch of junk food but never actually manage to finish even 1/4 of it. I consider myself kinda lucky after reading some binge nightmare stories on here..

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My pain is constant and sharp.

And I do not hope for a better world for anyone.

In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others.

I want no one to escape.

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