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Being told to wear a shirt at the pool.....


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#1 HerDelusionalBones

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Posted 29 June 2020 - 06:41 AM

I was ACTUALLY invited somewhere out for the first time in FOREVER.  I don't really have any friends so I was genuinely surprised that people thought of me!  The problem was, it was a pool party. Ive been TERRIFIED to go out in public let alone a pool party but hey, Im in my 30s and Its time I let go of insecurities and EMBRACE MY BODY AND BLAH BLAH BLAH !

 

So I show up, its an all girls pool party (regina georgeeee) and I was mingling and so on.  I hop in the pool and EVERYONE starts staring at me.  Whats the problem? Im in a 1 piece even.  Whats the big deal? The host (my girlfriend) comes up to me and says "Hey you need to put on a shirt".  When I asked why, she said "Well.. you have a nice body and everything its just that.. youre kind of older and its making us uncomfortable".  WHAT THE FUCK? I legit said "What the fuck" to her face.  I looked around and its all like mid 20s or late 30 year olds.  Im the same age. They don't have shirts on, so whats the deal?  

 

Its not like Im scary skinny. Hell I have huge boobs and a thick booty so I know its not that.  So whats the fucking problem.  I just said "well now IM uncomfortable" and I left as I kept getting stares.  

 

No one else was wearing a shirt that was in the pool.  Why me? 


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#2 JManskald

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Posted 29 June 2020 - 06:44 AM

Wow that is some fucked up nonsense.


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#3 aneurin

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Posted 29 June 2020 - 06:45 AM

1) your girlfriend told you to cover up? why would you still be with someone who treats you like that?

and 2) they're probably jealous of you lmao


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#4 NicotineCrash

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Posted 29 June 2020 - 06:57 AM

fuck, i'm finding it hard to believe that actually happened. i'm so sorry, people fucking SUCK

i'd ask if you're ok but i definitely wouldn't be if that happened to me so thats a stupid question
fuck those bitches


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#5 humble_pie

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Posted 29 June 2020 - 06:59 AM

You're kind of older and its making us uncomfortable? who says that wtf 


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#6 CICOpath

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Posted 29 June 2020 - 06:59 AM

+1 for just leaving 


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#7 NLP

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Posted 29 June 2020 - 07:48 AM

what the fuck was all that about

 

I'm not gonna diss another gal's friends, but sounds like pure jealousy to me

 

You sound gorgeous, let it be THEIR problem, not yours 

 

x


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#8 HerDelusionalBones

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Posted 29 June 2020 - 07:58 AM

I hate saying the word "Jealousy" because it seems like such an easy way to divert from the real issue. I feel that they do though need to look at their own relationships.  If they feel that I should leave because I'm possibly better looking than them and theyre afraid their husbands are going to look at me, that is something they should take up with their therapist.  

What sucks is that I told my husband I don't want to be around those girls anymore and now I'm the asshole because Im "making up excuses" to not see his friends.  


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#9 HerDelusionalBones

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Posted 29 June 2020 - 07:59 AM

1) your girlfriend told you to cover up? why would you still be with someone who treats you like that?

 

 

These are my husband's friends wives.  They hang out every weekend and Im NEVER invited.  The one time I was invited I tried to be nice thinking it would be different... I guess now I see why I'm never invited :(


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#10 JManskald

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Posted 29 June 2020 - 08:02 AM

Ohhhhhh. The problem here is that they’re cunts. You deserve better social circles.


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#11 YenneferOfVengerberg

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Posted 29 June 2020 - 10:49 PM

the only thing I could think of is hard nips showing?? I know mine can cut glass now after having babies lol but even then who really gives AF?? especially if they are ALL GIRLS?? immature twats.

I just had the opposite experience, I went to a pool party with the ladies of the family and was super nervous about wearing a two piece- cause of judgement or whatever. to my surprise everyone was wearing bikinis and letting their guts hang out everywhere, it was awesome lol. keep your head held high, you did the right thing by leaving when they made that ridiculous request.


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#12 Katie Katie

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Posted 29 June 2020 - 10:53 PM

I hate saying the word "Jealousy" because it seems like such an easy way to divert from the real issue. I feel that they do though need to look at their own relationships. If they feel that I should leave because I'm possibly better looking than them and theyre afraid their husbands are going to look at me, that is something they should take up with their therapist.
What sucks is that I told my husband I don't want to be around those girls anymore and now I'm the asshole because Im "making up excuses" to not see his friends.


Your husband should be a little more understanding, especially since he must know that you have issues with body confidence and a comment like that is especially hurtful for you.
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#13 HerDelusionalBones

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Posted 30 June 2020 - 05:41 AM

I explained to my husband last night that I dont want to be around those people anymore. Maybe once a year Ill be glad to show up (in a seperate car) and say hi, bring a gift, do whatever...but no more pool parties and such.  He's a big baby so he's mad but when I mentioned "Hey itll be just like how you only see my family once a year .. that is when youre sober enough to show up", he shut up quickly.  

 

Please take a lesson from me you guys.  No one should EVER make you feel bad about not wanting to be around others.  ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS drive yourself (or uber / taxi) somewhere, and make sure that you know your triggers and excuse yourself.  You dont have to spend time with people you dont want to. Now to look at my own relationship and yes, after ranting and raving, I convinced my family to let me use their pool for my own pool party. Anyone is invited and there will be both outdoor activities and indoor for those who just wanna chill and play video games :)


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#14 JManskald

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Posted 30 June 2020 - 05:53 AM

Well done!


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#15 Thegymbum

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Posted 30 June 2020 - 10:01 PM

Wtf? This is so messed up. It makes me so mad that they have a double standard like that. It would be one thing if you had a friend who was in recovery from anorexia and you were obviously very sick and a trigger (which would w needed an explanation to not be fucked up), or were wearing an obscene bathing suit, but I’m deeply disturbed that she’d just come out and say it to your face. People are so insensitive! I was asked the same thing when I was a lifeguard and at a really low weight, but that was a whole different issue considering it was my job and looking professional (or perhaps qualified to save someone lol) was probably the motive, yet even that hurt enough, especially since the time since I wasn’t really aware how sick I looked... so I get how you’re feeling to some extent.

I’m proud of you for making the decision to leave and to push these people out of your inner circle. You’d deserve to be around people get respect you for who you are.
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#16 celeste*

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Posted 01 July 2020 - 01:39 PM

They sound like toxic, emotional vampires. Good for you with coming up with a plan to keep the "friendship" civil for appearances.

Also you're right, we need to embrace our bodies. I wish I could tell that to my 20 year old self.
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