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What are your toxic reasons to lose weight?


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#21 Mastix

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 04:27 AM

**tw***

- make my ex pay attention to me so I can shoot him down (stupid, toxic.)
- have people worry about me, I want to be noticed and not just be the fat wallflower (narcissistic, toxic)
- feel valid about having talked to my doc about my diet woes, so he is actually actively worried about me and there is no doubt that I have an ED
- be thinner (therefore better in my awful mind) than my crushes exes (unrealistic, toxic)
- be physically ill again so I can feel like I match my brain. Same sentiment as when I SH I suppose?
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#22 soupy

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 07:47 AM

my biggest goal is probably to be underweight enough for everyone to worry about me and give me attention but not so underweight that i get put into treatment lol

i also wanna be skinnier than my dad (scaled to my height since tall male skinny is obviously different from short female skinny) because he has zero appetite and eats like one tiny ass meal a day so hes super skinny and it irritates me LMFAO

(he doesnt even have an ed hes literally just LIKE THAT and i do not understand)
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#23 acetylenedream

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 08:31 AM

I really think it would make me more successful at work (despite my body having nothing to do with my job) because my boss is super health-obsessed and also because people were so much nicer to me when I was skinny.

Also it makes me really sad to admit this but my girlfriend is quite heavy (always has been), I love her a lot and I'm attracted to her but I'm so so so scared that I'm going to end up being the same weight as her. She's wonderful and I support whatever she wants to do with or about her body, this is def just about me. When we started dating I was super skinny and I want to get back to that weight.
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#24 sewerside

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 10:53 AM

attention & to feel loved. i miss when i was younger i would get so much attention from family, everyday i got told by my mum that she loves me. now i'm a teenager & i don't get that anymore, i feel like i need to look small & be small in order to feel loved again you know? i miss all the hugs she used to give me, she used to call me her baby & her favourite. now i'm seen as a "lazy, miserable teenager" & she only cares about her boyfriend & my sister. it makes me so feel so upset.

 

secondly, i want more friends at school. i want the group i'm with to feel bad for not speaking to me & treating me like shit at school, always excluding me out & going on walks leaving me at the lunch table by myself. if i come back in august underweight, they will all panic. everyone will panic & be worried, they will encourage me to eat instead of ignoring me, they will treat me with more respect. i can see it. a girl at my school is now relapsing with anorexia & they are all in her instagram comments telling her they CARE about and she's BEAUTIFUL. i want that. i want everyone to compliment & care about me. 

 

i don't want to be this lazy teenager. i just want to feel like that 8 year old again ):


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#25 DecemberDarlin

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 12:08 PM

I'd say I want to shock my boyfriend but if I'm honest I want to scare him. He's in the military and while he was in boot camp i lost 40 lbs. By the next time I see him I want to lose another 40. He doesn't really care for me losing weight and it kind of makes him concerned by how much I've been losing and I damn near want to scare him when I see him again. I know its fucked up.


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#26 perfecting.anastasia

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 02:36 PM

I know this is a toxic thread but ig **TW** anyway:

It's self-harm but, like, people congratulate you on it? insane.

thiiiiiiis.
I thrive off of words of affirmation and my family won’t say anything if someone gains weight, but they’re always congratulatory about weight loss.
I’ve also been suicidal for going on 10 years now so if it kills me early without really being an obvious suicide that would hurt my family that’s great too
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#27 Pieces

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 02:58 PM

I was raped when I was 17 and the guy posted all over fb that I was a whale so why would he rape me. I feel like men just don't respect women anyway but especially if they're fat, we're pieces of meat and laughing stocks. I just want men to treat me even slightly better.


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#28 Mitortuga

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 04:29 PM

I was raped when I was 17 and the guy posted all over fb that I was a whale so why would he rape me. I feel like men just don't respect women anyway but especially if they're fat, we're pieces of meat and laughing stocks. I just want men to treat me even slightly better.


I am so sorry you had to go through that. Men are disgusting.
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#29 Mesnyi

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 04:46 PM

I've been thisbway many years so there's a lot of toxic haha.

But recently(ish) there has been another layer. I had a baby and got a throid disorder I went from underweight to overweight in a few months. I know people look at me now and are like 'she's really let herself go since the baby and all the usual bullshit that comes with it

I want to be like fuck you!

My mum has always told me I cant lose Wight with a thyroid disorder. It tok hard blah blah blah. Mostly because she has one and is big. But she puts me down over it to make herself feel better. And I want to show her up

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#30 PizzaRat

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Posted 03 July 2020 - 12:36 AM

I want my manager to finally be concerned about my weight loss. When customers comment that I'm getting tinier she says things like "well she walks a lot" or "that [weight loss] happened awhile ago" and it just... bums me out that she can't see I'm suffering. She was even making excuses for me when my coworker said she worries about me and my weight. I mean, it's nice to have someone to cover for me but I know that if she worries, I'll feel valid.

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#31 willofthescribes

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Posted 03 July 2020 - 12:46 AM

I want literally anyone to give even half a shit about me
And I want to get revenge on the world
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#32 Vegetrouble

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Posted 03 July 2020 - 04:11 AM

My ED behaviours flared up again when a guy i was in love with told me that if he went out with me, his ex's family would look at me and him on facebook and laugh. He said all sorts of bullshit, not just that, stuff about not being able to throw me around in bed etc
It was two years ago so i'm mostly over it but i do sort of want him to kick himself still.

Other than that, I just want to be better than other people 

And to be treated like a human


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#33 MaryJaneHolland

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Posted 03 July 2020 - 12:39 PM

To more easily attract a guy, to have more choice of guys. Incase my abusive ex ever sees me or a photo of me, so he regrets it and doesn’t just get to laugh and see me as a fat pig. To be noticeably smaller than two of my close friends (one bigger one slightly smaller) so I don’t feel like ‘one of the big girls’.

 

Me too :( I weigh a lot more now than when I was a little younger. The guys who like me on apps now are much less attractive than the ones who used to. 

And when I do make a connection, lately I just get ghosted before I'm even given a chance :(


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#34 MaryJaneHolland

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Posted 03 July 2020 - 12:48 PM

I was raped when I was 17 and the guy posted all over fb that I was a whale so why would he rape me. I feel like men just don't respect women anyway but especially if they're fat, we're pieces of meat and laughing stocks. I just want men to treat me even slightly better.

 

Me too :'(


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  nothing is going to get better, it's not."

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#35 Honey Noodle

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Posted 03 July 2020 - 12:57 PM

My family used to pick on me and compared me to my sister who was 15 pounds lighter than me. (They stopped when I developed bulimia). Now that I relapsed I want to become skinny and indirectly shove it in their face.
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#36 Honey Noodle

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Posted 03 July 2020 - 12:57 PM

My family used to pick on me and compared me to my sister who was 15 pounds lighter than me. (They stopped when I developed bulimia). Now that I relapsed I want to become skinny and indirectly shove it in their face.

d9dfv2f-522ce7fd-af17-4678-90d1-2ab5f2d3dap1iv5-db7872a9-f185-4f22-bd38-3ef505a5 d9dfv2f-522ce7fd-af17-4678-90d1-2ab5f2d3

d9gqnbs-b5b99fd3-2090-45cb-a495-6244c635
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Hw:150
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#37 CoffeeAndKitties 🐆

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Posted 03 July 2020 - 11:40 PM

I want to be sick. I want people to worry/take care/pay attention to me.



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#38 TakeMeTo99

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Posted 04 July 2020 - 03:59 AM

I want to be hotter than my older sister. She’s tall and skinny and she gets all sorts of attention.

I want to be the skinniest in the friend group. I’m currently the fattest by a landslide.

I want to be skinnier than my best friends ex best friends.

I want guys who use me for sex to regret it because I cut them off.

I want people to be shocked when they see me.

I want this married guy I was banging to regret not choosing me. His wife is fat and not cute. Fucked up. I know.

I want my ex friends to feel sorrow about fucking up our friendships.

I want to get more attention from hot people than everyone around me.


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#39 lilibu

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Posted 04 July 2020 - 08:48 AM

I want the people who didn't understand what's it like to have BED, food addiction and be absolutely terrified of gaining weight and yet get to over 300 lbs, who felt the need to inform me that I'm fat and should eat less, to fucking take their words back and beg me to eat something. I imagine then pointing to the fridge door where one of them wrote in marker "portion control" and "one meal at a time" for me.

 

I won't do that because it's not fair on them. They had the right to be genuinely concerned when I was killing myself with food, they'd be right to be concerned if I were to become underweight by doing the opposite. Being against one extreme doesn't mean they want me to die of starvation, and implying that would be toxic and manipulative. But damn, I can't shake the feeling of wanting to do that.


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#40 Vegetrouble

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Posted 04 July 2020 - 10:48 AM

I want the people who didn't understand what's it like to have BED, food addiction and be absolutely terrified of gaining weight and yet get to over 300 lbs, who felt the need to inform me that I'm fat and should eat less, to fucking take their words back and beg me to eat something. I imagine then pointing to the fridge door where one of them wrote in marker "portion control" and "one meal at a time" for me.

 

I won't do that because it's not fair on them. They had the right to be genuinely concerned when I was killing myself with food, they'd be right to be concerned if I were to become underweight by doing the opposite. Being against one extreme doesn't mean they want me to die of starvation, and implying that would be toxic and manipulative. But damn, I can't shake the feeling of wanting to do that.

Isn't it more about the fact that they were mean/rude to you and that contributed to you becoming more mentally ill? surely that's the point you want to make - it isn't about concern, it's about cruelty? like, "look what your 'concern' made happen, that wasn't real love" sort of thing?


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HW ~231 / 16st7 (spring '18 - BMI 39.6)
CW 119 / 8st7 (BMI 20.4)

GW1 116 / 8st4 (BMI 19.9)

UGW 112 / 8st (BMI 19.2)
DreamW 98 / 7st (BMI 16.8)
 

 

 

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