What are your toxic reasons to lose weight? - Page 32 - Starting at a higher BMI - Forums and Community

Jump to content


About MPA

MPA is a site dedicated to the support or recovery of those suffering from eating disorders or body dysmorphic disorders. Please be sensitive to this fact when creating an account and contributing to the board.


Photo

What are your toxic reasons to lose weight?


  • Please log in to reply
683 replies to this topic

#621 SacredFaeriesrevengequest

SacredFaeriesrevengequest

    Advanced Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 378 posts

Posted 17 October 2021 - 01:49 PM

To get back at my boyfriend and everyone who is an absolute asshope to me and to scare the living fuck out of them...
Also to be able to enjoy the body I had when I was younger that I couldn't really fully enjoy then as I was basically a prisoner to psychotic crazy fuckers then.
  • BurningOpal and babybeanburrito like this

#622 frostedamethyst

frostedamethyst

    Member

  • Accountability access
  • PipPip
  • 56 posts

Posted 17 October 2021 - 06:15 PM

Be skinnier than my partner who also had an ed

#623 OnceUponADream117

OnceUponADream117

    Advanced Member

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPip
  • 103 posts
  • LocationTexas, USA

Posted 18 October 2021 - 11:20 AM

1- my husband was always been with emaciated skinny women before me and has recently begrudgingly admitted he does, in fact, find thin women more attractive. That’s motivating af.

2- I’ve always been in a toxic unspoken competition with my little sister. She was always the skinny popular boy crazy sister. I’m the smart fat sister, but with the much prettier face. I want to be the smarter skinnier prettier one lol I need to “win” I guess. Toxic, for sure. But if we’re being honest, ya.

3- I’m 30 and infertile, recently suffered multiple losses in a row, and all my friends and siblings are popping out healthy babies left and right. I’m simultaneously happy for them but sad for me. We’ve recently given up. I deal with it by focusing on losing weight and being the more attractive one, because it’s all I am in control of. I can’t control my womb. It’s hard. It’s motivating. It’s toxic.
  • Imouto, *BeautyInTheBreakdown*, bonezofbronze and 2 others like this
>Height: 5’3”
>Age: 30
>Female
.
-HW: 300 lbs - 11/2017
-LW: 128 lbs - 08/2020
-SW: 185 lbs - 10/17/2021
.
*CW: 170.8 lbs - 10/26/2021
.
GW1: 160 lbs - Halloween
GW2: 140 lbs - Thanksgiving
GW3: 127 lbs - New LW! - Christmas Day
GW4: 99 lbs - Double Digits - Valentine’s Day
GW5: 96 lbs - 17 BMI
UGW: 73 lbs - AKA death lolololol
.
.
*I will not interact with minors.*
.
.
“No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true.” -Cinderella 💕

#624 SourRomantic

SourRomantic

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 23 posts

Posted 18 October 2021 - 02:09 PM

1. Just found out someone I like has been very openly flirting with people much smaller than me but they won't flirt with me publicly. They said they were happy I wasn't tiny, which was reassuring at first but now feels like a punch to the gut.

2. I want to lose my period
  • Hollow_belly likes this

#625 lyzzie

lyzzie

    Advanced Member

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPip
  • 65 posts

Posted 21 October 2021 - 02:39 PM

I want people who said to me ''just eat less'' (when I was depressed and gained weight) see how much I lost

I need to be skinnier than my fiancé ex-girlfriend and my sister in law

I want to be desired 


  • Hollow_belly likes this

LW: 94 lbs (43,0 kg)

HW: 155 lbs (69,9kg)

CW: 134 lbs (61,0 kg)

GW1: 132 lbs (60,0kg)

GW2: 121 lbs (55,0kg)

GW3: 110 lbs(50,0kg)

165cm (5'4 in)

BMI 22.4

 

Orthorexia | Restriction

 

cda4e442598e185d71db860274475806.jpg


#626 legitdying

legitdying

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 16 posts

Posted 21 October 2021 - 03:31 PM

spite. f*ck you, mom.


  • Hollow_belly, flaneur and babybeanburrito like this

Ht: 5'5


HW: 240


CW: 177.6


GW: 160


UGW: 95


2edb723e57a747ca65b9f31318ea534915bc7d9c


#627 annwyl

annwyl

    Advanced Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 309 posts

Posted 21 October 2021 - 06:12 PM

1. my friend gave me his stats and now i feel the need to weigh less than him by new years
2. to be the smallest person in the room
3. i mentally compete with those around me and i feel like i have to weigh less than them (even tho im a fatass and probably will never weigh even as much as them)
  • Hollow_belly likes this

#628 mood swings

mood swings

    Advanced Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 307 posts
  • LocationRussia

Posted 21 October 2021 - 09:25 PM

To get attention and be a victim
  • babybeanburrito likes this

 bmi

25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17

 

 


#629 Bubblegumbis

Bubblegumbis

    Newbie

  • New Members
  • Pip
  • 4 posts

Posted 21 October 2021 - 09:51 PM

My dad got weight loss surgery and lost 200 lbs. He has been really mean to me in the process, insulting my weight during arguments and pressing me to go to the gym when I have a broken foot. He has caused this relapse for me, and I want him to feel guilty. He needs to worry about me and be concerned.

I also want to reject the mediocre men that have pursued me when I’m skinny.
  • bonezofbronze likes this

#630 FreeBirdCaged

FreeBirdCaged

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 13 posts

Posted 22 October 2021 - 08:37 AM

I don't want people to think "man, she let herself go". And I want to be skinnier than certain people I know.

#631 Mrzembalmo

Mrzembalmo

    Advanced Member

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPip
  • 69 posts
  • LocationSydney

Posted 22 October 2021 - 05:36 PM

My boyfriend (?) has flirted with other women since we got together. He has been seeing someone privately, that i was told he was cheating on me with 6 months ago. He denies it. 

I've been notoriously in relationships with men who wont be on my side or stick up for me. 

 

I want control. 


𝒶ℯ𝓈𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓉𝒾𝒸 𝒶𝓇𝓉 - instagram.com/babyandthegreys

 

 


#632 ~Sharkay~

~Sharkay~

    Omniscient

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5122 posts
  • LocationThe garbage truck fire that is the U.S.

Posted 22 October 2021 - 09:08 PM

So I can be hotter than my sister.


  • 𝓎𝔠𝔩𝔢𝔭𝔱 likes this

b777a0986097775fa9835d44cf4c074a.png

 

 


#633 depressionallyy

depressionallyy

    Newbie

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 9 posts

Posted 22 October 2021 - 10:35 PM

I've heard people saying they get treated differently when they lose weight, and I'd give anything to experience that. It's also another form of self harm lol



#634 Adimosity

Adimosity

    Advanced Member

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPip
  • 69 posts

Posted 22 October 2021 - 11:45 PM

So I can be perfect. But obviously the joke is on me because perfect entails so much more than just weight.

#635 hungry_equestrian

hungry_equestrian

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 18 posts
  • LocationSouth Pacific Ocean

Posted 23 October 2021 - 12:02 AM

I want to hear your most toxic reason for wanting to lose weight. I have several but the one that has been the most motivation recently is that my boyfriend's ex was only 92 pounds. He told me that he likes my curves but his track record with women have always been petite. The fact that I'm twice her size disgusts me. I'm sure he'd love someone he could toss around but I weigh the same as him. 

My toxic reasons to lose weight are...plentiful. For starters, the equestrian world is FULL of people shitting on you and putting you down to your face and behind your back if you're not a super skinny, aesthetically attractive cisgender, heterosexual female. The most two common things in this industry (as in regional shows and above, pleasure hackers and low level shows aren't that bad) is su*c*de and eating disorders because of this. On a lighter note, I want to be able to ride more horses and not feel like I'm going to snap their spine or have people make fun of me for "looking too big" for the horse or the saddle. The horses I ride are good bois who try hard for me and I low key developed an ED partially to help them be good bois easier LMAO

 

Another toxic reason is because I want to be the skinny sibling again. My sister began to complain that her expensive favorite jeans are too big and now she has to buy more expensive jeans in smaller sizes blah blah blah...I hate it. I bust my ass off (I might have a thyroid disorder fyi) trying to lose weight with bugger all or no result and she's out here all like "drink water and eat more salads UwU" and it falls off her!! I grew up being the smallest as well, so that doesn't help. I get FOMO very easily from my Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, which is why things like this gets to me so easily.

 

That's all that I can think of, but it was actually beneficial to contribute to this thread in terms of externalising internal feelings to deconstruct them, so thanks for the topic!!


Age: 24

Gender: AFAB Enby

Height: 170cm/5'7"

HW: 110kg/242lbs
CW: 102g/224
GW: 68kg/150lbs

 

 


#636 hungry_equestrian

hungry_equestrian

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 18 posts
  • LocationSouth Pacific Ocean

Posted 23 October 2021 - 12:04 AM

My toxic reasons to lose weight are...plentiful. For starters, the equestrian world is FULL of people shitting on you and putting you down to your face and behind your back if you're not a super skinny, aesthetically attractive cisgender, heterosexual female. The most two common things in this industry (as in regional shows and above, pleasure hackers and low level shows aren't that bad) is su*c*de and eating disorders because of this. On a lighter note, I want to be able to ride more horses and not feel like I'm going to snap their spine or have people make fun of me for "looking too big" for the horse or the saddle. The horses I ride are good bois who try hard for me and I low key developed an ED partially to help them be good bois easier LMAO

 

Another toxic reason is because I want to be the skinny sibling again. My sister began to complain that her expensive favorite jeans are too big and now she has to buy more expensive jeans in smaller sizes blah blah blah...I hate it. I bust my ass off (I might have a thyroid disorder fyi) trying to lose weight with bugger all or no result and she's out here all like "drink water and eat more salads UwU" and it falls off her!! I grew up being the smallest as well, so that doesn't help. I get FOMO very easily from my Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, which is why things like this gets to me so easily.

 

That's all that I can think of, but it was actually beneficial to contribute to this thread in terms of externalising internal feelings to deconstruct them, so thanks for the topic!!


Age: 24

Gender: AFAB Enby

Height: 170cm/5'7"

HW: 110kg/242lbs
CW: 102g/224
GW: 68kg/150lbs

 

 


#637 deleted_account_

deleted_account_

    Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 522 posts

Posted 23 October 2021 - 12:17 AM

so i can tell people that i'm anorexic and they'll actually believe me for once and take me seriously


  • Hollow_belly likes this

#638 Imouto

Imouto

    Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 187 posts

Posted 23 October 2021 - 02:43 AM

A few years ago I had this goal to get skinnier than my sister on her wedding. I failed. I did the good sister thing and stayed by her side and helped her all day. Then she decided to cut me out of her life because her husband didn't like me and occasionally she pops back into my life to say cruel shit. I'm the fat one in her wedding pics.

 

I never want to feel like that again.

 

I would rather be the skinny one at all of my sisters' weddings so I feel like I have something going for me.

 

My mom supports that sister regardless of how awful she is to me and is always talking about how skinny "sister" is, how good she looks.

 

Also my mom was telling me that she's never "had a belly" before, but that it was okay because I'm "built differently". I want her to eat her words.



#639 Ashen_Black

Ashen_Black

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 21 posts

Posted 23 October 2021 - 04:11 AM

My mom just called and announced that she's coming to stay during Christmas....

#640 dissolve

dissolve

    Advanced Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 459 posts
  • Locationnot entirely sure

Posted 23 October 2021 - 06:27 PM

1. Because when my sister was diagnosed with an eating disorder in her teens she got all the attention (like always) but they didn't even care enough about me to notice how unwell I was a few years earlier than when she was diagnosed. If they'd given a fuck I would have been diagnosed with AN then. So now this is my immature disordered "fuck you" to them again even though they're not in my life anymore and will never know.

2. Because I need people to understand how badly fucked up I was by the toxic environment at my last job. For real. This relapse was massively contributed to by me needing to make myself as small a target at work as possible.


  • Hollow_belly likes this


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users