this might come off super weird so bear with me. my experiences as a gay woman in the community are so bizarre when it comes to weight/size preference. on one hand, there is a ton of body positivity within certain spaces. on the other, there are still a lot of women/NB folks who struggle with EDs, have internalized beauty standards that can be reflected in "preference," and/or just generally have difficult relationships with their bodies. without a "male gaze" i wonder a lot why different spaces are so polarized in their treatment of and ideology around bodies. my bi friends (female + NB) with EDs tell me that they feel a lot less pressure from their ED in non-het relationships than in those specifically with men.
idk i'm not expecting an explanation because i'm not sure there is one but just wondering if y'all have experienced this. might edit to clarify things bc i am not thinking super clearly atm.