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weight and preference in WLW relationships?

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#1 hurricane heaven

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Posted 07 July 2020 - 02:35 AM

this might come off super weird so bear with me. my experiences as a gay woman in the community are so bizarre when it comes to weight/size preference. on one hand, there is a ton of body positivity within certain spaces. on the other, there are still a lot of women/NB folks who struggle with EDs, have internalized beauty standards that can be reflected in "preference," and/or just generally have difficult relationships with their bodies. without a "male gaze" i wonder a lot why different spaces are so polarized in their treatment of and ideology around bodies. my bi friends (female + NB) with EDs tell me that they feel a lot less pressure from their ED in non-het relationships than in those specifically with men.


idk i'm not expecting an explanation because i'm not sure there is one but just wondering if y'all have experienced this. might edit to clarify things bc i am not thinking super clearly atm.

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hw: 130

lw: 93.6 (? literally it was so long ago lol)

sw: 119

cw: 119 i want to die


pt 1

1: 115

2: 112

3: 108

4: 104


pt 2

1: 100

2: 97

3: 94

4: 93


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#2 ThermonuclearRedhead


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Posted 28 July 2020 - 06:01 PM

There are like no lesbians on MPA lol. I have a preference for plus size women, partially because I’m attracted to them, but subconsciously I think my eating disorder is preventing me from dating people closer to my size. If I were to be with a girl near my weight, I’m sure I’d fall into the trap of unhealthy comparison. I don’t date men so I can’t speak to that experience, but I feel more pressure to be small when I’m with butches as opposed to feminine presenting women. The gay community definitely contributes to my ED in general tho, especially my gay male friends. Even if they don’t mean anything by it, they constantly comment on how I look. Most of the lesbians I know have body image issues, even the ones that claim to be body positive. It’s fucked.
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#3 fatggot


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Posted 25 November 2020 - 09:29 AM

I think weight and size in the queer community is an issue because all the stereotypes of each group is white and skinny. For nonbinary people, most people expect an AFAB skinny, white person who uses they/them pronouns. For lesbians, there is less of a weight stereotype because the "ideal lesbian" changes a lot especially with TikTok and other social media. Like right now, I kinda feel like no girl could ever like me because I do not fit the "cottagecore, dainty" lesbian look that is popular on TikTok right now.


Anyway, I prefer any type and size of girl. I am a sucker for chubby girls, though. Especially the thick tummies and thick thighs. Oof. I really like the stretch marks and cute round faces they usually have with that size too.

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#4 Poppy27



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Posted 30 November 2020 - 11:00 AM

I don't think I have a weight preference in the women/non-binary folks that I've dated.

Experiencially, though, I've mostly dated curvy ppl

#5 minmax



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Posted 03 December 2020 - 11:03 AM

all women internalize the male gaze & beauty standards. unfortunately even a lack of interest in men isn't enough to free us from the pressure.
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#6 Dyintothrive


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Posted 04 December 2020 - 03:30 PM

It wasnt always this way, but as my ed has worsened I find the bar for what weight I find attractive is lowering more and more.
Edit: it could also have something to do with numerous traumas in sexual situations, all with heavier people.

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