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Anyone here?


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#1 brego58

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Posted 12 July 2020 - 04:51 PM

I just feel so alone. I mean, I wouldn't say I have true muscle dysmorphia because I don't actually want all the muscle. I just want to be muscular.

 

But I can't stop sabotaging myself. I try to do a cut and I end up over-restricting until I binge. I try to bulk even a tiny amount and I spiral into self-loathing. I don't know why I can't just aim for my goals without going into this unhealthiness.


Height: 5'9

SW: 170

CW: 164  158

BMI: 24.2 23.2

Weight lost: 12lbs

 

HW: 172

GW1: 157

GW2: 150
UGW: ?????


#2 CrazyStarvingArtist

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Posted 12 July 2020 - 04:53 PM

I'm really self conscious about not having abs but I'm also scared to get abs
  • brego58 likes this
■E■M■I■
☆ENFP☆

▪︎SW= 46kg (21.2)
▪︎LW= 37.8kg (16.1)
▪︎CW= recovery

#3 brego58

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Posted 13 July 2020 - 10:09 AM

Glad I’m at least not completely alone! Tbh, I wouldn’t say I have an eating disorder, more like disordered tendencies. Unfortunately/fortunately
, my partner is trying to make me eat normally :(


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Height: 5'9

SW: 170

CW: 164  158

BMI: 24.2 23.2

Weight lost: 12lbs

 

HW: 172

GW1: 157

GW2: 150
UGW: ?????


#4 runningwithyou

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Posted 19 July 2020 - 10:29 PM

I'm here occasionally! I want to get rid of all the fat on my body until I'm just muscle, not like a body builder but more of a lean endurance athlete or ballet dancer (with more visible muscle and less messed up feet and toes).

 

I constantly over exercise, and then I try to eat some healthy food / protein, but it sometimes ends in a binge. I freak out if I've gained weight, even if my measurements haven't changed or even shrunk, but logically know I can't gain muscle without gaining some weight at some point. But then if I lose weight, I always manage to convince myself that it was all muscle and not fat and I should exercise more. It's a bad cycle.


  • brego58 likes this

"accountability"

they/she

vegan, overexerciser, a mess

173 cm (5'8")

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