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you look "healthy" so you must be fine


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#1 earth_poppins

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Posted 26 July 2020 - 11:55 AM

(Tiny rant here)

Okay, I am SO FUCKING TIRED of the amount of people that think like this. Like, it'snot even annoying anymore at this point... it's just sad. Sad that this is what people think of when they hear the words "eating disorder" they think of emacation, skin amd bones... BUT WHY
If they saw someone at an actual anorexic weight they'd be like "go get help please eat" but if they someone at a healthy weight they'd be like "ah good for you staying healthy" or someone overweight they'd be like "well whatever works! Good job, yes, lose that weight!"
WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I'm healthy weight. I'm thin, but I'm "healthy" thin. Not worryingly thin... yet. So no one really worries or thinks about it.
My best friend who found out through my other best friend ... (which I trusted enough to tell about bc it was driving me crazy keeping it secret and I wasn't on MPA yet) but she told her anyway bc "well she's out best friend too so she should know !!"
Anyway, she thinks of it like... it's only dangerous if your weight is dangerously low. If it's healthy, you're fine, and if it's high, you just need some more self control. And the way she talks about it kind of pisses me off... I mean, I know it's not really her fault, she's never had an ed, all she has to go off of is what the media portrays it as.... but still.
She now knows about every single ed behavior I've engaged in and am actively engaging in, but she just completely dismisses it because I look fine. And she's also said once "but if your ribs start to show I'm going to stop eating disorder because I don't want my friend to die."
Huh ??
So you just gonna wave a magic wand once I achieve my sick goals that'll just suddenly make MENTAL ILLNESS disappear??
Okay, have fun with that.
But it's like she thinks it's safe at the moment... hun, no. I could still die trying. That risk is still there.

I'm just so sick of feeling invalidated because of it. Like I'm not trying hard enough, dont have enough self control, maybe I don't want it bad enough, maybe my ed is even fake ?? Maybe haven't focused on it enough, or devoted enough time and energy to it?
I mean, dont get me wrong I'm not complaining or anything. I'm kinda glad nobody's stopping me because if somebody actually did intervene and monitor me and shit like that, I'd go fucking ballistic.
But at the same time... If it were anyone else other than me, I'd be so pissed that no one seems to care just because they look "healthy"

Okay sorry, I NEEDED to say it.
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Status: half dead but still breathing

HW:171
LW:105
CW: 114
GW1:94
GW2:80
UGW:75

#2 Khai_Aaliyah

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Posted 27 July 2020 - 12:41 AM

I literally cried reading your post because I relate to it sooo much. (sorry this comment is short but literally this is everything I tell my friends that ED come in all shapes and it doesn’t matter what size you are it’s dangerous)


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#3 allonsy

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Posted 27 July 2020 - 10:36 PM

I feel like the amount of effort and time I spend thinking about food and losing weight and exercising, like for all my effort, I really should be 10 lbs lighter. I’m consumed by ed thoughts, but have nothing to show for it.
It’s like a duck paddling away under water, but all you can see from above is a fat duck sitting on the water.
Complain all you want. It’s not fair :(


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height: 5'6

HW:145 l LW:95 l CW: 116 l GW:105

 


#4 fatavocadoseed

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Posted 27 July 2020 - 10:44 PM

i feel you so bad. only one friend knows about my ed habits, but she just goes "as long as you know what you're doing, it's fine". i know i look healthy. i know i dont look sick yet. but could you not shrug it off like it's not a big deal at all? yeah, i would hate it if someone tried to "help", but could you at least worry a little bit or something?? do i have to starve for weeks just for you to finally see whats wrong??


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#5 faux real

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Posted 31 July 2020 - 09:03 PM

seriously i wish normal people would educate themselves and understand that it's a mental disorder and not a weight disorder. my mother was a big offender of this, she bought me scales, lax, binge food, we'd go food shopping and she'd count calories with me. my sister confronted her about it and she said "as long as she's losing it healthily it's ok"

i got the courage to tell my father about my ed and cried the whole way through speaking about it, he said something along the lines of "eat like it's your last day on earth"

but when it comes to my underweight ednos struggling sister my parents are like "omg she's too skinny!!! she has to eat she looks like she's dying!!" my parents would give a fuck if i was 90lbs and boney af but because I'm a healthy weight apparently I don't have a problem.

people like this just fuel my already present paranoia that i'm not sick enough.
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