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My friend has a problem. How can i help her?


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#1 1337sara

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Posted 28 July 2020 - 01:55 PM

i’ve been recovered for a few years and only recently started slipping again.

But I have started to see signs in my friend, and i am almost always right in these instances.
I’ve seen this before, in another friend. I spotted it as early as the change in her eyes when we ate together. My other friends thought i was mad when I told them, so i never said anything. She got pretty bad.

I don’t want to do the same mistake again. I think the root of the problem is that she really wants a boyfriend and a family, but i can’t really help her with that. She is the typical hard worker, doesn’t like to go out or loose control. I’ve tried talking to her about going more on chemistry than qualifications. But in the end accepted that she doesn’t want the same thing as me.

To the point:
She openly puts her body down and restricts food. She has admitted to purging back when we were teenagers, but i thought she had stopped since that was like 10 years ago. Back then i was visibly anorexic so anyone with a food problem would basically confess their disordered eating whenever we got drunk. I never did anything because i had my own problems.
Well, this time is different. I see that abscent look in her eyes when it’s time for food. I know it so well.

Can i even help her? Nobody was or is able to say anything to change my mind. Any ideas?

#2 Xed

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Posted 28 July 2020 - 03:16 PM

This is hard to hear, but EDs are like addiction. Your friend will have to want to get better before any change can happen. Be supportive, don’t be confrontational, don’t try to make them eat high-cal foods.
I personally would start showing up consistently with low-cal foods so they feel safer around you, and will maybe eventually be in a place that they can open up to you about it. That was how my disordered friend & I ended up confessing to each other back in high school.
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Hi, I'm Xed.


In my late 20s
medium-functioning
dependent on starvation endorphins.


CW: BMI 21.7

HW: BMI 31.9
LW: BMI 18.8


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#3 1337sara

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Posted 01 August 2020 - 01:46 PM

Thank you! Thats really good advice :)


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