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Flying Pig's Movie Reviews

movies reviews not a professional I have questionable taste

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#1 Flying Pig

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Posted 12 October 2020 - 10:26 PM

I need to unclog my accountability a bit, so I've decided to start posting my terrible reviews for movies that I watch (and re-watch) in this thread instead. I'm not by any means even close to a professional reviewer, nor have I even seen that many movies. I'm also really easily entertained. So really, take most of these with a grain of salt. 

 

The reviews will not have any spoilers, and anything that may be a genuine plot spoiler will be put under, well, a spoiler. 

 

Feel free to generally comment or leave movie recommendations!! 

 

The Darkness (2016) - 6/10

Sea Fever (2020) - 8/10

The Invisible Man (2020) - 9/10

Color out of Space (2020) - 9/10

The Rental (2020) - 4/10

Pledge (2018) -  6/10

John Wick (2014) - 9/10

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017) - 10/10

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019) - 10/10

Midsommar (2019) - 8/10

Stephen King's IT (1990) - 8/10

Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) - 3/10

The Perfection (2018) - 9/10

IT (2017) - 8/10

The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018) - 4/10

Hell House LLC (2016) - 8/10

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001) - 10/10

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) - 10/10

Hell House LLC 2: The Abaddon Hotel (2018) - 4/10
Hell House LLC 3: Lake of Fire (2019) - 6/10
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) - 10/10
The Cloverfield Paradox (2018) - 7/10

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005) - 10/10

Unfriended (2014) - 7/10
The Night Eats The World (2018) - 6/10
Unfriended: Dark Web (2018) - 7/10
Starship Troopers (997) - 9/10

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) - 9/10

Signs (2002) - 9/10

Uzumaki (2000) - 2/10
Gacy (2003) - 6/10

Re-Animator (1985) - 6/10

Upgrade (2018) - 8/10
Deadpool (2016) - 10/10

Deadpool 2 (2018) - 10/10
May I Be at Peace (2018) - 5/10
Teeth (2007) - 3/10
Kedi (2016) - 10/10

The Silence of the Lambs (1991) - 10/10
One Hour Photo (2002) - 7/10

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#2 Flying Pig

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Posted 12 October 2020 - 10:40 PM

Movie reviews from my accountability that I'm moving here so I can find them easier

 

The Darkness (2016) - 6/10

Some interesting parts, but it's a really standard "ey my child has a new demon friend". Super cliché. Eh.

Later addition to my review: The only reason this wasn't a 4/10 was because the daughter has an eating disorder (eeeyyy) and I enjoyed the family dynamic. It's better than most "ey family gets wrecked by ghosts" movies, but still VERY cookie cutter in essence. 

 

Sea Fever (2020) - 8/10

I really enjoyed it, it wasn't a traditional horror movie, but still may give me a boat nightmare. Loved the pacing, they set it up really nice and quick, and then they don't keep you waiting. Somewhat predictable, yet still an entertaining watch. It's easy for the brain, not for the heart. 

 

The Invisible Man (2020) - 9/10

Absolutely loved this movie, I felt her frustration and her fear, loved the beginning, it was just all so... well coordinated. The end was a little lackluster but still satisfying. They really used the classic "whoo jumpscare means LOUD SOUND" but I kind of expect it from all horror movies honestly. I will be watching this again. 

 

Color out of Space (2020) - 9/10

Absolutely beautiful, REALLY FUCKING WEIRD. It's Lovecraft, it would be a sin to not make it as weird as they were capable of doing. Very fucked up in parts?  I feel like.... it could've gone weirder and really fucked up, but I understand the limitations. Will not be for the weak stomach. I think there's like 2 jumpscares but they're not even at the "scary" parts. Seriously if you're reading this right now and you have not watched Color out of Space, watch it. Nick Cage's performance was top notch as well. 

 

The Rental (2020) - 4/10

Standard horror bullshit, there were a couple of twists but they never actually contributed too much to the plot. The whole thing was kinda infuriating. It wasn't a bad movie in execution, but it just... there was no real substance. It just kinda went from 0 to 10 to 0 to 60 to 0 to 60 to "oOoOo it could happen to yooouuuuu....." Like... I'm actually disappointed. I wanted it to be good, but it's just.............. nah. 

 

Pledge (2018) -  6/10

It's just.... It's standard violent slasher movie but it has some good bits. Eh.

Later addition to my review: I actually really enjoyed the ending! I also enjoyed the use of the rat themes, even though they could've done so much more with it. 

 


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#3 Flying Pig

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Posted 12 October 2020 - 10:47 PM

John Wick (2014) - 9/10

If you love gluttonous action, a cool story, more action, Keanu Reeves, and a touch of action, you'll probably like this movie. The only reason I took a point off is because of one part in the beginning. If you've seen the movie, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I would also go on a murder spree if that happened to me. Seriously though if you love action movies and you haven't seen this yet... Why? 

 

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017) - 10/10

An incredible sequel. They take the best parts of the first movie and mold it into something so much greater. They give you little tastes of the world they built. They somehow manage to give you even more action. There are some beautiful scenes and some beautiful explosions. 

 

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019) - 10/10

The movie so many people waited for that absolutely delivered, now featuring MORE DOGS! 

 

(Love this movie series with all of my heart)


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#4 Flying Pig

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Posted 12 October 2020 - 10:54 PM

Midsommar (2019) - 8/10

I should have watched the director's cut. They drag you in with the community they've created, and keep you gripped as things get more and more strange. It's delivered in a really simple and beautifully light way. 

 

One last comment, the way the main girl Dani cries in the beginning of the movie is absolutely hysterical. I get that it's a really terrible sad time for her but it sounds like she has a kazoo in her throat mixed with a bit of a yowling cat. I couldn't stop laughing! 


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#5 Flying Pig

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Posted 13 October 2020 - 02:26 PM

Stephen King's IT (1990) - 8/10

It's a classic for a reason! I still really enjoyed it, but I've come to realize that it's almost too long for my personal taste. I just wanted them to get into the guts of the story for such a long time. Love Pennywise as always. Will be watching it next Halloween, and many more Halloweens to come. Hopefully at a party. Good party movie! 


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#6 Flying Pig

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Posted 13 October 2020 - 09:23 PM

Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) - 3/10

I really enjoyed Jim Carrey's performance, even though costume design did Dr. Robotnik hella dirty. Eggman deserves better. Sonic deserves better. San Francisco deserves better. It was comedy made for children (so I enjoyed it a bit) and they do use Sonic's speed in some interesting ways. The only way this movie can redeem itself in my eyes is if they release the version that had the older, much scarier Sonic. You know the one. With the human eyes. 


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#7 Flying Pig

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Posted 13 October 2020 - 09:30 PM

The Perfection (2018) - 9/10

Nothing about this movie went the way I thought it would, and I love it for that. The way the story is shared is drastic and to the point, and I appreciate the way they shared it. I would've gone for a different way of telling the story but that's just personal at this point. Anyone watching this will either love it or hate it. I feel like I'm biased because I could've been a music prodigy myself, but that's a me thing. 


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#8 Flying Pig

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Posted 14 October 2020 - 09:52 PM

IT (2017) - 8/10

Pennywise is so much more terrifying. I really enjoyed this movie! Worth watching if you're into classics being remade. 


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#9 Flying Pig

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Posted 16 October 2020 - 12:13 AM

The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018) - 4/10

The premise is great, I love how they went for a less traditional possession. I love the way they used background scares as well! However the scary bits are a bit too predictable, the exposition kind of ruined the movie, and most of the characters I don't actually even like. I'm really disappointed, it could've been great but it really let me down. Cool idea though! 


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#10 Flying Pig

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Posted 16 October 2020 - 10:14 PM

Hell House LLC (2016) - 8/10

I hated about half of this movie because I was just a little bit terrified the entire time. The idea is great and I loved the way they decided to show everything. However, I do not like "found footage" style movies because they scare the ever-living shit out of me, this being no exception. The scares weren't even that good. I'm never watching this again. I will have nightmares. I'm docking 1 point for the awkward acting and 1 point for the spooks it gave me. Fuck this movie. Go watch it if you like "found footage" style videos. 


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#11 Flying Pig

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Posted 19 October 2020 - 07:07 PM

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001) - 10/10

I mean.... Do I even need to say anything?


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#12 Flying Pig

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Posted 19 October 2020 - 07:10 PM

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) - 10/10 

Brilliant as always. I'm a huge fan of Harry Potter and I don't even care if these movies have faults or don't stick to the books. 


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#13 Flying Pig

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Posted 19 October 2020 - 10:22 PM

Hell House LLC 2: The Abaddon Hotel (2018) - 4/10
Not as good as the first movie. Jump scares galore. Found footage normally freaks me out the whole way through, this one was comical in some places that should've been spooky. Some of the acting was fucking terrible. The story was kind of all over the place. I hope the third movie is better... 

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#14 Flying Pig

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Posted 20 October 2020 - 06:32 PM

Hell House LLC 3: Lake of Fire (2019) - 6/10
Similar vibes to the first movie. It got a little frustrating in parts, but it's not too bad. A nice way to wrap things up. 

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#15 Flying Pig

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Posted 20 October 2020 - 10:36 PM

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) - 10/10
I think this is one of the best movies they've made in the Harry Potter series. 

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#16 Flying Pig

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Posted 21 October 2020 - 01:17 AM

The Cloverfield Paradox (2018) - 7/10

I enjoyed this movie. I really wish they got more weird with the paradox. It was filled with too much fluff and stuff that I just personally do not care about. Very shaky at points. I really wish I saw what was happening on Earth. Great movie otherwise. 

 

Side note, you can just tell Jar Jar Abrams had his filthy director hands all over this film. Loves his lights and lens flares, that one. Can't have a space movie without being blinded by a bright light every 5 minutes. 


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#17 strawberryclouds

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Posted 21 October 2020 - 02:22 AM


Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) - 10/10

I think this is one of the best movies they've made in the Harry Potter series.

funny haha i personally like that one by far the least


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#18 Flying Pig

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Posted 21 October 2020 - 11:07 PM

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005) - 10/10

"HARRY DID YAH PUT YAH NAME IN DA GOBLET OF FIYAH?!?" he asked calmly.


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#19 Flying Pig

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Posted 21 October 2020 - 11:12 PM

Unfriended (2014) - 7/10

I know it's a movie featuring people in high school, but the drama was just sooo much. Otherwise, I love this movie quite a lot. Genuinely brilliant. You know how when you're on a video call and the other person just glitches out in the most terrifying way possible? I though my movie file was screwed, but nope. One major complaint, I was constantly trying to minimize and close things on the character's screen. She just had her desktop all willy-nilly with a literal clusterfuck of image files in the top right corner. A million programs were open. Unbearable. Also, why a mac? 

 

Side note, the beginning made me SO uncomfortable. 


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#20 Flying Pig

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Posted 22 October 2020 - 06:39 PM

The Night Eats The World (2018) - 6/10

It's good, but slow. VERY slow. I'm just not really into the whole man vs self kind of movie. I wish the whole housekeeping part was sped up a bit. 


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