if you could instantly recover, would you?
Posted 19 October 2020 - 09:48 AM
I can recover whenever I want actually.
But I don't see a point because we're all on this earth to die anyway. And I have no 'life' like other people have.
I just wake up, enjoy anime, manga and videogames. Starve, workout, and go back to sleep. *Le shurg*
- 𝓐𝓷𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓪 and Need.to.be.skinny like this
HW: 131 lbs (BMI 29.4)
CW: 76.8 lbs (BMI 17.0)
UGW: 69.0 lbs (BMI 15.5)
Posted 19 October 2020 - 10:04 AM
Nope girl. No one messes up with my relationship with my eating disorder. recovering would mean feeling again all the things which I am escaping from. I cannot imagine my life happy at my ideal weight. I wanna be and stay underweight, almost there since i relapsed.
Posted 19 October 2020 - 02:00 PM
The exact same for me.
I'm sure one day, you'll make it. Believe in yourself, it's never too late and everybody deserves to feel better and to live a life that suits them. If you want it, then you can do it. I wish you the best. Take care.
You too lovely 🥺 anyone that says they don’t want to recover must be in the honeymoon phase. Years of this crap turns into years of misery
- Need.to.be.skinny and Eugène like this
Posted 19 October 2020 - 02:13 PM
You too lovely anyone that says they don’t want to recover must be in the honeymoon phase. Years of this crap turns into years of misery
Thanks, you're too ! And you're right, it's not a life, it's a nightmare !
Height : 149 cm / 4.89ft
Current weight : 36kg / 79.36lbs
Highest weight : 38kg / 83.78lbs
Lowest weight : 30kg / 66.14lbs
Goal weight : between 36kg / 79.36lbs and 42kg / 92.6lbs, I just want to mentally recover.
BMI : 16.2
“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”
Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear
Posted 19 October 2020 - 03:19 PM
if you asked me during the 'honeymoon' phase of my ed i would have said no - but i think nowadays i'd be a bit more open to it. i'm trapped in this mindset and my health is failing when i was supposed to be 'realizing my potential' at this point in my life. i wasted so much time i could've used to practice my art and now my dream of becoming an animator feels so far away.. if i could recover and follow my dream i would choose that in a heartbeat. but i've never really had non-disordered eating so i don't know how i would do it
it wouldn't be that hard to maintain a generally low healthy weight too like i genuinely enjoy eating clean and exercising (when i have energy) but its mental illness eh
- Eugène likes this
cw: 107lbs / 48.5kg (bmi 17.3)
gw: 103lbs / 47kg (bmi 16.6)
will probably want to go lower oop
wasting my life
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