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I'm an idiot. I let myself get covid for the lack of taste etc..


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#1 blackstarz

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Posted 09 November 2020 - 04:39 PM

Now I feel so stupid. I was working in a Covid ward. I know how to avoid it. I let myself get complacent. I knew what I was doing. Now I can't even smoke a cigarette πŸ˜’
No point to this post other than I'm an idiot. I let desperation and impatience get the better of me. I said I'd never do shit like this again after I let myself get infected with norovirus during an outbreak... To lose weight.
I need a fucking reality check. My workmate (also has ED but more recovery orientated at present) seems to know. He's pissed at me. Why the hell do I get these ideas in my head πŸ™„πŸ˜’
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30-something. Everytime I decide to leave this shit behind, I come running back. I need this. I hate this. I love this. I can't live without this. 


#2 weirdeq

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Posted 09 November 2020 - 04:55 PM

this is a future iconic mpa moment I feel like 

​I mean that in the best way possible


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the things that you hide in your heart

are what eat you alive 

 

maybe one day ill look like her but for now i'm gross and fat


#3 blackstarz

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Posted 09 November 2020 - 06:52 PM

I'd probably find it funny if I didn't feel so shit πŸ˜… and also that test and protect thing seem to be giving out wrong information too about how long to isolate for :/ I mean fair enough I breathed in cough spray from a covid+ patient but I don't want to infect other people 😐😐😐
Quite sure it's ten days?????
Anyone just invade anyone is considering this, don't, its a stupid idea. I can't even exercise either nevermind smoke!!

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30-something. Everytime I decide to leave this shit behind, I come running back. I need this. I hate this. I love this. I can't live without this. 


#4 Colour moving and still

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Posted 12 November 2020 - 04:25 PM

I'd probably find it funny if I didn't feel so shit πŸ˜… and also that test and protect thing seem to be giving out wrong information too about how long to isolate for :/ I mean fair enough I breathed in cough spray from a covid+ patient but I don't want to infect other people 😐😐😐
Quite sure it's ten days?????
Anyone just invade anyone is considering this, don't, its a stupid idea. I can't even exercise either nevermind smoke!!


I think its suppose to be 14 days. Most ppl start getting symptoms on day 5 to 10 I think.
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#5 halfmoonkid

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Posted 13 November 2020 - 02:28 AM

I mean, I kinda want to do this too. If I had an easy way to get it I would. In a major binge phase atm and idk how to fix it. Also if I die I honestly wouldn't care. 



#6 skinnyStrawberry

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Posted 16 November 2020 - 11:14 AM

shit now you got me hooked up on this idea .... like yeah it is dumb for sure

 

I don't think I will ever have a chance to be infected anyway or have symptoms so ...


female/ pansexual/ 170cm/ EDNOS (relapsed? idfk)

cw: too much

HW: 60kg    LW: 47kg  GW: ? (dreaming of 47 ugh) 

 

"Ich denke oft an dich aus Angst, die Erinnerungen kΓΆnnten verblassen/ Ich liebe dich aus Angst ich kΓΆnnte dich hassen" - Mitch Miller, Schizophrene LiebeserklΓ€rung


#7 my.hands.are.cold

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Posted 18 November 2020 - 08:04 AM

I'm almost positive I got covid and just am able to smell again, it lasted for like 2 weeks I think and I had no other noticeable symptoms. Maybe a headache but that's normal for me anyways.

I barely ate at all because I was sad that I couldn't taste. It literally just stopped my appetite almost entirely and I was shocked at myself of how happy I was about it and that I wanted that to come back. I was smoking cigs and vaping anyways, but damn I couldn't taste my fruity disposable so i stuck with my menthol :(

Feels like I'm losing myself every damn day but I'm not really sure what'shappening

 

anymore and my memory is getting really bad. I don't like these feelings :[

 

I'm one of those many-tabs ppl, and my record is so far was 316 tabs in chrome

 


#8 vanilla β™‘

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Posted 20 November 2020 - 11:12 PM

i feel you lol, although i dont know how i got it. i lost my taste and smell yesterday and the only thing i'm even "happy" about this is that i dont feel hungry, but its frustrating i cant taste anything because when i am hungry and eat something its just bland. and adding onto that the excruciating migraines. if covid doesnt get me out of my binge cycle im suing /j


⋆* ⁺⑅ β™‘ ΝŽ "i didn't know you were such a slacker"  ΝŽβ™‘ . q˚ 

 

8621d2ddecaf16fe06a51e05a64bda04ad662766

 

 

─── ο½₯ ο½‘οΎŸβ˜†: *.☽ .* :β˜†οΎŸ. ───

 

 

goal weights -  in kilograms

 

β”Žβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”’

 

 60, 59, 58, 57, 56, 55, 54, 53, 52, 51, 50, 49, 48, 47, 46, 45, 44, 43, 42, 41, 40, 39, 38, 37, 36, 35, 34 

 

β”–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”š

 


#9 addicted

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Posted 25 November 2020 - 10:39 PM

But isn’t this also super scary for you? People die of Covid. Iβ€˜ve literally been scared of it since we first got the news that there was a new virus in China. I even contemplated gaining weight in case I got it. Now I’m here, still scared to get it, with my roommate positive and me not eating enough to sustain myself.

Dwayne:I wish i could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everyting-just skip it...

Frank:Do you know who Marcel Proust is?

Dwayne:He's the guy you teach.

Frank:Yeah.French writer .Total loser.Never had a real Job.Unrequited love affairs.Gay.Spend 20 years writing a book almost no one reads.But he's probably also the greatest writer since Shakespeare.Anyway,he uh...he gets down to the end of his life, he Looks back and decides that all those years he suffered , those were the best years of his life , 'cause they made him who he was.All those years he was happy?You know , total waste.Didn't learn a Thing.So , if you sleep until you're eighteen....Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss.I mean high school?High school-those are your prime suffering years .You don't get better suffering than that.

-Little miss sunshine

#10 Dignitas

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Posted 26 November 2020 - 09:52 AM

That is so terrifying and simulateously devastating- there are no limits to how cruel this illness can be to us! I can so relate to this thought process and I have to force my bloody mask on every time I leave the house but I tell myself I am protecting others. Focusing on not hurting other people is what keeps me in line because my head is so fucked.

I hope you are able to heal quickly and that you are kinder to yourself <3

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GOALS: Enjoy every last fuckin’ moment living alongside anorexia - love up my tribe, read until my brain is ready to explode, and making this world a better place in some small way every day :)

β€œLife asks death, β€˜why do people love me but hate you?”
Death responds, β€˜because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth”

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