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Hard times


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#1 Killandria

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Posted 18 November 2020 - 04:06 AM

Has anyone gone through a long phase of eating healthy all day and b/ping at night. It’s like I can’t help myself. The past few months I lost all my friends and my family are highly triggering and my life is basically a big fail in every aspect and I can’t seem to get myself to eat normal and I’m gaining weight which is also extra triggering and I want to stop it fuck I hate bulimia I miss anorexia


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#2 nearly_gone

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Posted 18 November 2020 - 05:02 AM

Same girl


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xx

#3 CamelliaKiller

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Posted 18 November 2020 - 05:05 AM

Same, god.


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#4 BlackLaced

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Posted 18 November 2020 - 05:08 AM

I seriously just did a fast because I am disappointed at myself (gained weight from drinking/recovery). Then I planned to make some chicken to add to salad later with my best friend. Well, I managed to do that. We agreed to eat healthy and do this the "healthy way". Hmmmm, that worked, but tell me whyyyy, I just had to eat some caramel popcorn with peanuts I threw in. Then going to have a second helping. Only then it leading to me throwing up in a walmart bag and throwing it in the trash.

Fuck, I'm not going to even lie it was worth it and I can't purge in the bathroom because her room is connected together. However, I do feel guilty because I don't want her to know, or gross her out. Or maybe I feel bad because it was her popcorn?

Hopefully tomorrow (well later today will be a better one).

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#5 Killandria

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Posted 21 November 2020 - 01:53 AM

I seriously just did a fast because I am disappointed at myself (gained weight from drinking/recovery). Then I planned to make some chicken to add to salad later with my best friend. Well, I managed to do that. We agreed to eat healthy and do this the "healthy way". Hmmmm, that worked, but tell me whyyyy, I just had to eat some caramel popcorn with peanuts I threw in. Then going to have a second helping. Only then it leading to me throwing up in a walmart bag and throwing it in the trash.

Fuck, I'm not going to even lie it was worth it and I can't purge in the bathroom because her room is connected together. However, I do feel guilty because I don't want her to know, or gross her out. Or maybe I feel bad because it was her popcorn?

Hopefully tomorrow (well later today will be a better one).

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I know I’m a bit late but I hope you’re doing good don’t stress it’s hard times right now and I believe you can get through this even going w couple of days without b/p is better than nothing, be gentle with yourself love x


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#6 BlackLaced

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Posted 29 November 2020 - 10:29 AM

I know I’m a bit late but I hope you’re doing good don’t stress it’s hard times right now and I believe you can get through this even going w couple of days without b/p is better than nothing, be gentle with yourself love x


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Thank you so much love. I really appreciate it. Also there is a never too late... I am glad I saw this post and it made me feel somewhat better (currently on my way home 4 hours away from my best friend. We had a falling out and her mom is bringing me home. Even her mom doesnt understand what happened and is heartbroken. She saw the whole incident).

So I am okay right now, but anxious to be going back home. Ready to see my cats. The situation hasn't entirely hit me. I really hope I can hold it together. It's not the best situation.

Maybe time will heal this we all are going through it. Whatever it may be.

Anyway, sorry for the rant and I really hope youre doing well. Thanks again.

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#7 TeenyLittlebee

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Posted 29 November 2020 - 12:29 PM

Too relateable - or like weekends are b/p days for me and I focis on healthy eating through the weekdays


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#8 sewerside

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Posted 30 November 2020 - 05:40 AM

i feel you

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#9 sewerside

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Posted 30 November 2020 - 05:41 AM

Maybe time will heal this we all are going through it. Whatever it may be

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time heals everything <3
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5'5 | probably around 136-138 rn



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