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Either I’m back, or I never really left...


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#21 PartyGirl

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Posted 01 February 2021 - 07:56 PM

I’ve been so darn sore since Saturday. My ankles and feet are tender, not bad enough to sit around around. My hips have been a little sore with some movement. Hopefully my schedule allows me to make it back to the gym tomorrow. Sharing a vehicle with my husband plus work schedule changes has screwed me all up for today. I really needed to go today bc I ate three meals plus snacks today. Disappointing.


Transmission delivered from deep behind enemy lines. Encryption failed, hope the enemy can’t track my location.

Height: 5’ 2”
HW: 300+
LW: 128
CW: 160
UGW: 88 (or lower)

G1: 130 G2: 125 G3: 120 G4: 115

 

Fatty gained weight, bc she can't control her fat face.  Stupid cow.  I was tiny, and nearing perfection.  Then I went and fucked it all up, gained weight, got even fatter.  I'm gross.


#22 beetle

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Posted 01 February 2021 - 08:09 PM

aw love, do you have a way to do stretches just to get some relief in your muscles? i worked out way too hard last week and was immobile for a day from how sore i was. i forget how easy it is to over-exercise :c
how you feel better soon ♥

 


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#23 PartyGirl

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Posted 05 February 2021 - 07:32 PM

Been stressed out bc of the schedule changes and not being able to get to the gym. So husband says “you secretly don’t want to go bc if you did you would find a way...” kinda hurt my feelings. Guess who’s found a way, been going after work and after I’ve dropped him at home for the evening. Called his bluff, bc I don’t think he believed I was serious.

A friends kid who I’ve been kinda helping was recently admitted to a hospital program here for suicidal thoughts, sh, and anxiety. Her mother is fucking worthless and doesn’t get it. I try to help her understand but she would rather bury herself in work than try to find help for herself. She wasn’t interested when I told her about the caregiver support groups the hospital program offers. I can only support her child so much bc it triggers my own issues and I tend to trigger Ed behaviours in her child, who has been showing early stages along with all her other issues. Why do ppl want to push mental health off like some horrible thing to be ashamed of or some “attention-driven” behaviour? I had to end a conversation with husband over that bc he believes a person starts sh-ing when they see other people do it and also that it wasn’t a thing when he was a kid...been doing it myself for longer than he even knew. The lack of knowledge coupled with the lack of desire for knowledge is infuriating.


Transmission delivered from deep behind enemy lines. Encryption failed, hope the enemy can’t track my location.

Height: 5’ 2”
HW: 300+
LW: 128
CW: 160
UGW: 88 (or lower)

G1: 130 G2: 125 G3: 120 G4: 115

 

Fatty gained weight, bc she can't control her fat face.  Stupid cow.  I was tiny, and nearing perfection.  Then I went and fucked it all up, gained weight, got even fatter.  I'm gross.


#24 PartyGirl

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Posted 11 February 2021 - 07:48 AM

Got on the scale the other day. How have I gained 30 lbs since treatment? Oh yeah, I’ve been eating more freely, having lunch, and not counting calories. Well that has to stop. Didn’t eat a single meal yesterday but when I counted up the snacks I allowed myself last night...clearly I need to go back to writing everything down.


Transmission delivered from deep behind enemy lines. Encryption failed, hope the enemy can’t track my location.

Height: 5’ 2”
HW: 300+
LW: 128
CW: 160
UGW: 88 (or lower)

G1: 130 G2: 125 G3: 120 G4: 115

 

Fatty gained weight, bc she can't control her fat face.  Stupid cow.  I was tiny, and nearing perfection.  Then I went and fucked it all up, gained weight, got even fatter.  I'm gross.


#25 PartyGirl

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Posted 16 February 2021 - 05:15 PM

Record snow over the past week. Had my husband drop me off at the gym yesterday morning since I didn’t have to work. Walked the three miles home after my workout in 18* weather.

Snow day from work today but I chose to sleep in rather than go to the gym. Compensated for having eaten more than I should by walking a total of four miles to the gas station to buy cigarettes and monster zero. I say “walking” but I use that term loosely. There’s a foot of snow on the ground and not a single sidewalk has been cleared obviously. Most of the walk is along a five-lane road so you really can’t walk in the street safely. My hair is literally frozen stiff and I have body parts I cannot feel yet.

I’d wager I’m back to my obsessive exercising behaviour from a few years ago. At least I’m not cutting or regularly purging anymore.


Transmission delivered from deep behind enemy lines. Encryption failed, hope the enemy can’t track my location.

Height: 5’ 2”
HW: 300+
LW: 128
CW: 160
UGW: 88 (or lower)

G1: 130 G2: 125 G3: 120 G4: 115

 

Fatty gained weight, bc she can't control her fat face.  Stupid cow.  I was tiny, and nearing perfection.  Then I went and fucked it all up, gained weight, got even fatter.  I'm gross.


#26 PartyGirl

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Posted 19 February 2021 - 06:16 PM

Husband is hanging out with friends and I’m sitting at their house thinking about how I could be at the gym instead. I’d even be happy just going home, but no I have to sit here and wait while he hangs out. I’m so bored and annoyed.


Transmission delivered from deep behind enemy lines. Encryption failed, hope the enemy can’t track my location.

Height: 5’ 2”
HW: 300+
LW: 128
CW: 160
UGW: 88 (or lower)

G1: 130 G2: 125 G3: 120 G4: 115

 

Fatty gained weight, bc she can't control her fat face.  Stupid cow.  I was tiny, and nearing perfection.  Then I went and fucked it all up, gained weight, got even fatter.  I'm gross.


#27 PartyGirl

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Posted 23 February 2021 - 06:10 PM

13 miles on a bike and then walked three miles home. Proud of myself today.


Transmission delivered from deep behind enemy lines. Encryption failed, hope the enemy can’t track my location.

Height: 5’ 2”
HW: 300+
LW: 128
CW: 160
UGW: 88 (or lower)

G1: 130 G2: 125 G3: 120 G4: 115

 

Fatty gained weight, bc she can't control her fat face.  Stupid cow.  I was tiny, and nearing perfection.  Then I went and fucked it all up, gained weight, got even fatter.  I'm gross.


#28 PartyGirl

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Posted 26 February 2021 - 07:42 PM

Another 13 miles on the bike followed by a three mile walk. It was darn cold and rainy, but quite refreshing. I need something to destress after a shitty day at a shitty job. Just thinking about walking into work makes me want to vomit. I hate that place so much, which is sad bc I love my students.


Transmission delivered from deep behind enemy lines. Encryption failed, hope the enemy can’t track my location.

Height: 5’ 2”
HW: 300+
LW: 128
CW: 160
UGW: 88 (or lower)

G1: 130 G2: 125 G3: 120 G4: 115

 

Fatty gained weight, bc she can't control her fat face.  Stupid cow.  I was tiny, and nearing perfection.  Then I went and fucked it all up, gained weight, got even fatter.  I'm gross.



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