It's definitely personal, but I like to hear a variety of thoughts! For me, my parents never married and were common law until they finally separated 10 years ago. I don't want to end up like that. For me I just want to have our relationship down on paper before we live together ( I live alone) I sort of feel like some guys might use the "not officially married thing" as a way to mess around as they see it as less immoral that way.
I also feel like I don't want to give him all the "wife privileges" like cooking, cleaning, emotional support, quality time spent at home unless I know for sure he's going to be in it for the long haul.. just my thoughts <3
I have to admit there are a ton of red flags in what you are saying imo. No offense! I just want to point out a few things...
Getting married doesn't keep you from separating. This means, even if you were married, you might end up just like your parents because marriages don't safe guard relationships. That's why so many people are divorced. If you think marriage makes a relationship more stable... it won't.
If someones messes around, while being in an committed relationship, they will still mess around once you are married. Infidelity is one of the top three reasons for divorce. A committed relationship is reason enough to not mess around. Married or not.
People need to understand that once you are married, your relationship won't magically change. You still have the same fights over the same things and having issues with the same flaws of your partner. You will still get tired of each other sometimes. You will still be annoyed by those weird little things your SO already does on a daily basis. Marriage isn't about "wife (or husband) privileges". You don't become a servant as a wife or husband. You ought to already "serve" your partner just as much as they ought to serve you. This relationship is about conquering life together... not giving each other privileges. I hope you already give each other emotional support and do nice things for each other like cooking and cleaning. Those aren't privileges for married people. Caring for each other is what relationships are all about.
I think it is important to reflect on why you want to be married. Like what will change? Why is it important to you?
The last thing you want to do is to pressure someone into marrying you by giving some sort of deadline. It is also severely indecent to just ghost your partner, if they don't propose in a certain time. You either end up alone or married with someone who didn't want to marry you in the first place but didn't feel like he could say no. People should talk to each other. Is he even interested in getting married at all? If yes - why? If not - why?
Relationships are very complicated and it is SO hard to keep them going successfully. Marriage doesn't make things easier (although the honeymoon phase is really nice like the time when you wake up next to your HUSBAND! <3 but that fades after a few years as well)