POST WHATEVER YOU ARE THINKING: ANOREXIA THREAD
Posted 24 December 2020 - 09:11 AM
- Panna and eingeschneit like this
Posted 24 December 2020 - 09:51 AM
im so disgusted with myself how could i go from 43kg to a horrifying 49kg, with my height that weight doesnt look good a tall person would probably look fantastic with my weight but im short so i look like a whale
Posted 24 December 2020 - 12:21 PM
- depressinglyfat and Yugyeom's Chocoshake like this
SW (this relapse): 186.5
LW (this relapse): 161.8
LW (lowest ED weight altogether): 128
Current BMI: 27.8
GW: Recovered, I think. I'd love to either get to 120 lb (where I look best- I have a large frame for my weight), or 109- underweight BMI. But recovery is more of a goal...
Diagnoses: PTSD, ED, Anxiety, Depression, ADHD
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Posted 24 December 2020 - 12:29 PM
I hit a goal weight this morning and now I'm terrified it'll change because I'll inadvertently do something wrong. I wish I lived alone and didn't have to eat today. Just to be sure it stays down. I need to be so careful to be at or below my intake today. What if I portion wrong or not estimate/calculate accurately? Stressed. Four hours of sleep was not enough for this day.
An-R, Ortho, PTSD, A&D, S-H, SI/Attempts
Me: "I hate myself and everything is terrible"
ALSO Me: *peace sign pose in the mirror* ✌🏼
Height: 5' 4"
Posted 24 December 2020 - 12:45 PM
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Posted 25 December 2020 - 03:14 AM
At first I was happy to be in a non-Christian majority century for Christmas because it would make restricting easier. But now I just really miss the Christmas atmosphere and would put up with the extra pressure to eat to be able to experience all the fun aspects of the holiday season.
BMI ~ 14.9
Height ~ 5'10''
~ I just know that something good is going to happen. I don't know when, but just saying it could even make it happen. ~
Posted 25 December 2020 - 03:24 AM
- rest assured and carbwrangler3000 like this
Posted 25 December 2020 - 03:30 AM
...Fasting thru tha snow, I am in so much pain
Over the hills we go, fasting all tha way...
My tummy hurt
...Jingle bells, vomit smells, dont know my current weight...
Hope I dont feel fucking braindead tomorrow
I cant eat in front of people... gonna stay at my boyfriend's house the whole day
- Almost Gone Imouto likes this
HW: 141 (64.1kg)
CW: 109 (49.5kg)
LW: 104.5 (47.5kg)
Posted 25 December 2020 - 03:43 AM
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Posted 25 December 2020 - 04:00 AM
i'm grocery shopping for the first time since relapse and fuck i forgot how exhausting this is.
- SkinnyLizzie likes this
Posted 25 December 2020 - 01:49 PM
how many pounds do you want to lose? and how long is the detox? you can't detox all the way to new year
I definitely can water fast until the new year, it's really not an unrealistic goal. I want to lose like 10 lbs I guess
Posted 25 December 2020 - 02:06 PM
✿ ht: 5'9.5 ✿
✿ hw: 165 ✿
✿ lw: 112✿
✿ cw: 115✿
Posted 25 December 2020 - 03:28 PM
- rest assured and gorehope like this
people only live for themselves
Sometimes I wish I could lend you my ears
Lend you my thoughts, and lend you my tears
Sometimes I wish I could take a new form
Switch out some parts and become like the norm
No one is looking at you
Why, are you ashamed of going crazy?
i'll teach you all the perfect ways of dancing incorrectly
Posted 25 December 2020 - 05:21 PM
Posted 25 December 2020 - 05:55 PM
I don’t even care about my body anymore. I look ugly whatever weight I am at. I just wanna see the number go down, I just want to prove to myself that I can get through another day without losing control over my eating. I half hate my life with an eating disorder but also hate the thought of losing control.
- notadream and ThinkinThin26 like this
Posted 25 December 2020 - 06:12 PM
Second day of not eating, i must finish my "Nutridrink= Cubitan" before bed.... They are sleeping so why? I feel like fainting already.
Posted 25 December 2020 - 06:27 PM
I WANT TO SEE PROGRESS NOW
- rest assured and beetle like this
"I have a love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine, and a rage the likes of which you would not believe. If i cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other."
"Like a dandelion up through the pavement, I persist. Anyway, still, despite."
Posted 27 December 2020 - 09:34 AM
I ate too much yesterday
I have had an apple so far today. should I eat more? what would I eat?
I need to lose weight
I hate my body
shut up no I am not I am greedy
I wish I was smaller
Posted 27 December 2020 - 10:05 AM
i have to go to my kind-of-bf's house for two weeks and i'm wondering how blatant i can be.
i'm bringing all my low calorie snacks (shit i literally would never eat otherwise lol), my calorie cheat sheets... i could probably bring my scale and he wouldn't really question it.
he's expressed a lot of interest in losing weight since he's gained so much, and honestly, i've been kind of mean about it on accident.
not trying to hurt his feelings or anything, but also like, trying not to lie? i feel like a dick every time. why can't i just be reassuring and nice?
but anyways, he's having trouble motivating to exercise, and obv i'm gonna be doing all this restricting and counting and exercise while i'm there.
i want to motivate him to do it with me, but i also feel like i'm inadvertently trying to like seep my disorder into him.
i dunno how to draw the line tbh.
i should probably just leave him alone about it. but it'd also be cool to have a exercise buddy to hold me accountable.
is that terrible to say?
i need to go to bed.
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