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POST WHATEVER YOU ARE THINKING: ANOREXIA THREAD


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#21 Weak69

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Posted 24 December 2020 - 09:11 AM

I want to die and cry
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#22 KuroNoShiroChan

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Posted 24 December 2020 - 09:51 AM

im so disgusted with myself how could i go from 43kg to a horrifying 49kg, with my height that weight doesnt look good a tall person would probably look fantastic with my weight but im short so i look like a whale


                  displaypicture-3.png

 

  Hw: 123 lbs
 
  LW 74.9 lbs
 
        Cw: 99lbs......
 
Skærmbillede 2019-05-26 kl. 08.57.03.png
 
Gw1: 88lbs
 
Gw 2: 77lbs
 
Gw 3: 74.9 lbs
 

girl-sending-virtual-hug-gif.gif   giphy.gif

 

:wub: UGW: BMI 8.2  :wub: 
 

 

             64532621_1357338147752827_6975737293474627584_n.jpg
 

 


#23 SickAndTiredOfItAll

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Posted 24 December 2020 - 12:21 PM

I hate my recovery team so much. I'm barely sick and they're making drama for nothing
  • depressinglyfat and Yugyeom's Chocoshake like this

HW: 186

SW (this relapse): 186.5

LW (this relapse): 161.8

LW (lowest ED weight altogether): 128 

CW: 161.8

Current BMI: 27.8 

GW: Recovered, I think. I'd love to either get to 120 lb (where I look best- I have a large frame for my weight), or 109- underweight BMI. But recovery is more of a goal... 

 

Diagnoses: PTSD, ED, Anxiety, Depression, ADHD

 

Progress: 

 

180's

186 185

184 183 182 181 180 

 

170's 

179 178 177 176 175

174 173 172 171 170

 

160's

169 168 167 166 165

164 163 162 161 160

 

150's 

159 158 157 156 155 

154 153 152 151 150

 

140's 

149 148 147 146 145 

144 143 142 141 140 

 

 


#24 Rinnie44

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Posted 24 December 2020 - 12:29 PM

I hit a goal weight this morning and now I'm terrified it'll change because I'll inadvertently do something wrong. I wish I lived alone and didn't have to eat today. Just to be sure it stays down. I need to be so careful to be at or below my intake today. What if I portion wrong or not estimate/calculate accurately? Stressed. Four hours of sleep was not enough for this day. 


C

She/Her/Hers   26    

An-R, Ortho, PTSD, A&D, S-H, SI/Attempts

 

Me: "I hate myself and everything is terrible"

ALSO Me: *peace sign pose in the mirror* ✌🏼

 

Height: 5' 4"

CW: 97

UGW: ???

 

 

 

 


#25 PeachyThin612

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Posted 24 December 2020 - 12:45 PM

I hate myself for plateauing and not loosing any weight


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#26 Marjaneh

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Posted 25 December 2020 - 03:14 AM

At first I was happy to be in a non-Christian majority century for Christmas because it would make restricting easier. But now I just really miss the Christmas atmosphere and would put up with the extra pressure to eat to be able to experience all the fun aspects of the holiday season. 


BMI ~ 14.9

 

                                                                                                                                                Height ~ 5'10''

 

~ I just know that something good is going to happen. I don't know when, but just saying it could even make it happen. ~

 

                                                           


#27 phoenixthelost

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Posted 25 December 2020 - 03:24 AM

I'm awake at 2:30 on Christmas morning, and I'm browsing threads on MPA so I feel less lonely and sad.
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☆We fall in love with the unattainable.☆

#28 EmergencyMedicine

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Posted 25 December 2020 - 03:30 AM

Christmas fast yee haw
...Fasting thru tha snow, I am in so much pain
Over the hills we go, fasting all tha way...
My tummy hurt
...Jingle bells, vomit smells, dont know my current weight...
Hope I dont feel fucking braindead tomorrow
I cant eat in front of people... gonna stay at my boyfriend's house the whole day
  • Almost Gone Imouto likes this
16, 5'4 (164cm)
Anorexia
HW: 141 (64.1kg)
CW: 109 (49.5kg)
LW: 104.5 (47.5kg)
BMI: 18.7

#29 carbwrangler3000

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Posted 25 December 2020 - 03:43 AM

currently recovering from christmas dinner....... i decided at 4pm to start a fast so now im committed and will see how long i can go for (followed by restricting)


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#30 beetle

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Posted 25 December 2020 - 04:00 AM

i'm grocery shopping for the first time since relapse and fuck i forgot how exhausting this is.
 


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"did you hear me, butterfly? miles to go before you sleep."
                                    
accountability
body checks

h: 5'0"
sw: 121
cw: 102
gw: 115 | 110 | 105 | 100 | 95 | 90
ugw: 80


#31 ThinnerThanSophie

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Posted 25 December 2020 - 01:49 PM

how many pounds do you want to lose? and how long is the detox? you can't detox all the way to new year


I definitely can water fast until the new year, it's really not an unrealistic goal. I want to lose like 10 lbs I guess
Emptiness is the only thing that's pure

#32 pumpkin seed

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Posted 25 December 2020 - 02:06 PM

deleted


ht: 5'9.5

hw: 165

lw: 112

cw: 115


#33 H h o p e

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Posted 25 December 2020 - 03:28 PM

Should’ve fasted
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people only live for themselves

^^^^^^^^

Sometimes I wish I could lend you my ears

Lend you my thoughts, and lend you my tears

Sometimes I wish I could take a new form

Switch out some parts and become like the norm

^^^^^^^^

No one is looking at you

Why, are you ashamed of going crazy?

i'll teach you all the perfect ways of dancing incorrectly 

 

^^^^^^^^

L6ifxFB.gif

 


#34 aroundthefur

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Posted 25 December 2020 - 05:21 PM

Thinking of excuses to use tomorrow to not eat breakfast

#35 skinniestbitchalive

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Posted 25 December 2020 - 05:55 PM

I love the control restriction gives me, I love knowing the calories of what I eat, I feel so proud of myself for not eating past 4pm / before 12. I’m so messed up lol.
I don’t even care about my body anymore. I look ugly whatever weight I am at. I just wanna see the number go down, I just want to prove to myself that I can get through another day without losing control over my eating. I half hate my life with an eating disorder but also hate the thought of losing control.
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#36 Panna

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Posted 25 December 2020 - 06:12 PM

Second day of not eating, i must finish my "Nutridrink= Cubitan" before bed.... They are sleeping so why? I feel like fainting already.



#37 Vilie

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Posted 25 December 2020 - 06:27 PM

I WANT TO SEE PROGRESS NOW


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 tumblr_mnbo6h5sGr1qamo2bo1_500.gif

 

 

"I have a love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine, and a rage the likes of which you would not believe. If i cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other."

​"Like a dandelion up through the pavement, I persist. Anyway, still, despite." 

 

Height: 5'6.5

bmi: 19.4

CW: 122.5

GW1: 125

GW2: 122

GW3: 120

...

UGW: 110

 

accountability: https://www.myproana...-12-lb-126-115/

 


#38 aluminé

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Posted 25 December 2020 - 07:29 PM

I'M SKIPPING DINNER TONIGHT I'M SO HAPPY

#39 skinniestbitchalive

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 09:34 AM

I ate too much yesterday 

I have had an apple so far today. should I eat more? what would I eat? 

I need to lose weight

I hate my body 

im hungry 

shut up no I am not I am greedy 

I wish I was smaller



#40 beetle

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 10:05 AM

i have to go to my kind-of-bf's house for two weeks and i'm wondering how blatant i can be.
i'm bringing all my low calorie snacks (shit i literally would never eat otherwise lol), my calorie cheat sheets... i could probably bring my scale and he wouldn't really question it.
he's expressed a lot of interest in losing weight since he's gained so much, and honestly, i've been kind of mean about it on accident.
not trying to hurt his feelings or anything, but also like, trying not to lie? i feel like a dick every time. why can't i just be reassuring and nice?
but anyways, he's having trouble motivating to exercise, and obv i'm gonna be doing all this restricting and counting and exercise while i'm there.
​i want to motivate him to do it with me, but i also feel like i'm inadvertently trying to like seep my disorder into him.
i dunno how to draw the line tbh.
i should probably just leave him alone about it. but it'd also be cool to have a exercise buddy to hold me accountable.
is that terrible to say?
probably.
i need to go to bed.

 


"did you hear me, butterfly? miles to go before you sleep."
                                    
accountability
body checks

h: 5'0"
sw: 121
cw: 102
gw: 115 | 110 | 105 | 100 | 95 | 90
ugw: 80



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