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POST WHATEVER YOU ARE THINKING: ANOREXIA THREAD


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#41 jushoo

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 10:18 AM

I hope covid doesn't keep me away from moving back to university on the 4th January because I have a lot of self-destructive habits to cath up on. I also want to reach my gw by my birthday in February.


same. I need college asap. I went thru this fake recovery upon moving home bc I wrekt my semester getting too caught up in my ed. But who learns from that right?! I gained a ton of weight in “pursuit of recovery” and just functioning robotically, doing “what i need to do” to satisfy my family then quickly realized gaining weight doesn’t heal the brain, nothing does, and I am still me! I am starting to drop all the recovery weight and everyone still thinks that “things are getting better!” & “every meal is getting easier!” but now my appearance is starting to not align significantly. I move back in 2 weeks and now I’m in this weird split where honestly maintaining gets them off my back for the semester because I leave “while doing well”. people worry less, ask me less, etc. they all love me and want the best, but they don’t understand an inch of eating disorders. and they’re all gullible af. anyways then I can SEND IT once I’m back but also how does one just sit happily in maintenance and not act on ED behaviors during the fucking holidays ?¿
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#42 Phineas

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 10:20 AM

i need to lose a shit ton of weight before i can hook up with this guy bc he probably thinks im fat


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b824ea4b99dca8c381749e3b41b2369b23eae076


#43 babyswinub

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 11:09 AM

god i fucking hate how much i need to count my calories or else i feel the need to kill myself lmaooooo



#44 babyswinub

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 11:12 AM

i need to lose a shit ton of weight before i can hook up with this guy bc he probably thinks im fat

SAME LMAO if i even let this guy see my body???? i will cry for years lol



#45 sad_diner

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 11:21 AM

This is too easy this time around. I'm in danger. Oh well. More dancing like a maniac in my room to burn more cals. More coffee. Go for a walk even though I just got back from a jog not log ago. The starved euphoria is starting again and I'm so close to underweight, it's the only thing I want to taste. Underweight by New Year's or else.

#46 beetle

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 06:18 PM

no change at my weigh in.
why does it make me feel so bad.

kinda wish i still did drugs, i could take these pounds off in a week, easy.

 


"did you hear me, butterfly? miles to go before you sleep."
                                    
accountability
body checks

h: 5'0"
sw: 121
cw: 102
gw: 115 | 110 | 105 | 100 | 95 | 90
ugw: 80


#47 goodenough

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 06:38 PM

binged for 2 days on 10,000 calories in total, so now I have to low restrict and exercise/fast for at least 4 days. had 100 calories of spices and pickle juice today, can`t sleep bc of the lax I overdosed on yesterday. did some cardio yesterday with an opened window so now I have a fever and awful pink eye which makes me feel like shit physically so no urges to cut or self-loathing after binging. so I`m feeling calm enough to study at the middle of the night  :)  the worse my body feels the easier everything gets mentally...


if you're going through hell, keep going

HW: I usually pretend it's BMI 19 (being a fat child sucked so I tell myself it wasn't real lmao)

LW: BMI 12

CW: BMI 18 17 16 15
GW: not fat?..

Tumblr-l-90640868059200.gif

Spoiler
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#48 beetle

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 06:59 PM

i'm not good enough at guessing calories to eat whatever it is my dad is about to bring over for dinner.
just leave me alone and let me starve in peace, please.


"did you hear me, butterfly? miles to go before you sleep."
                                    
accountability
body checks

h: 5'0"
sw: 121
cw: 102
gw: 115 | 110 | 105 | 100 | 95 | 90
ugw: 80


#49 Lightningbolt

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 07:01 PM

I can eat again at 4:30pm today...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Height: 5’2 Female CW: 79.6lbs HW: 104lbs LW: 79.6lbs GW: 85lbs✔️ GW: 83lbs✔️/82✔️/80✔️ /idk and will hopefully maintain soon????

#50 Xskinael

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 07:05 PM

Quietly don't want covid to go away until summer cause I wanna be small before I go back to campus cause the last time my classmates saw me I was a whale
I cannot wait to go back to restriction tomorrow after spending xmas with my sister and bf who don't tolerate my bullshit. I am so huge and school is so much easier when I don't have to think about food as well ugh

#51 ooooje

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 07:05 PM

why in the HELL did i order sushi UGH

i calculated and it'll be around 350 calories, so i'll still be way under my limit...but still 



#52 beautiful()bones

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 08:49 PM

i need to wait just a week before i get discharged from iop, then i can get skinny again. when i first went into the hospital, i wasn't even skinny and was such a disappointment. i need to lose weight, but i also need to find a way to keep it a secret from my family.


hw:148

cw:118

lw:86

gw:95

ugw:80

remember: calories can't make you happy

<3 <3 <3


#53 aluminé

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Posted 27 December 2020 - 09:49 PM

i hate myself. after all i ate during christmas, the binge i just had and new years eve coming i'll became obese. i can't stop crying and i found out i got more stretch marks UGH CAN I PLEASE BE NORMAL?

#54 beetle

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Posted 28 December 2020 - 12:32 AM

i'm so stupid, i feel like i ruined my whole week and i didn't even binge.
literally didn't even have more than four or five bites, probably ~210 cals max, but i'm freaking out anyways because i can't feel myself starving anymore.
i also really, really, REALLY don't like eating and trying to figure out calories afterwards. i like to have my calories planned.
i'm guessing this meal is roughly 840 cals in total? i hate not knowing for sure. i hate guesswork.
i'm a fat fuck failure at everything. i didn't even lose today. pathetic.


"did you hear me, butterfly? miles to go before you sleep."
                                    
accountability
body checks

h: 5'0"
sw: 121
cw: 102
gw: 115 | 110 | 105 | 100 | 95 | 90
ugw: 80


#55 Marjaneh

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Posted 28 December 2020 - 01:09 AM

Can't tell if I feel especially fat because my period is coming up or if I feel especially fat because I ate a Christmas cookie while high last night.


BMI ~ 14.9

 

                                                                                                                                                Height ~ 5'10''

 

~ I just know that something good is going to happen. I don't know when, but just saying it could even make it happen. ~

 

                                                           


#56 jackalyvia

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Posted 28 December 2020 - 06:50 AM

Thoughys: people will "do anything" to lose weight except keep their hands/food away from their face and do actual work....it motivates me to work even harder
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"Beatus istos ille, circa pes ad terra" (Blessed art thou with thier feet to the ground)<p>-RUNNING IS LIFE-
H - 5'9" goal - 99? Why not hahahahaha
I'm definitely falling in a rabbit hole now....

#57 a good sniff

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Posted 28 December 2020 - 06:55 AM

why can't i poop in the morning



#58 eingeschneit

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Posted 28 December 2020 - 07:00 AM

whoa the biggest question of ‚em all: am i really fat and chubby or is it just my hate towards my physical form that makes me feel bad hahahahaha

how long can u resist the choco bar?

eternity

where is the lyrical content?

Spoiler

 

Argyroneta aquatica

 

 

 


#59 clover00

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Posted 28 December 2020 - 07:01 AM

I should start a fast since I ate too much over christmas


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Height: 164 cm (5'4)

HW: 61 kg (134)

LW: 43 kg (97)

GW: 48 kg (105)

UGW: 40 kg (88)

 


#60 tibiana

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Posted 28 December 2020 - 07:08 AM

I always found that women who used to be thin and when they get older want to be fit rather than thin are losers or traitors. It's weird, because I always felt like they now have sixpacks and a big bum just because they are unable to restrict "correctly" when they get older and it gets harder to keep the weight off. I'd rather want to be skinny old  than fit old..


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Height: 5'5
SW: 145/65

CW: 125.9/57.1
GW2: 120/54
UGW: 110/49.9



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