22 replies to this topic

[nonyabusnass]

Random place for me to post thoughts, humour, parts of a thinspo story I've decided to rewrite, paintings I've done.

Just a place of creativity. My resolution was to be more creative and get back the skills I'd lost.

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[nonyabusnass]

I'm excited. I told myself that I would get back into exploring my creative side, and I'm working on my second painting for my husband. I'm also anticipating the arrival of my graphic tablet, which will help save me a ton of money on canvases!

In any case, here's an in progress of the painting so far! There's the first stage, then the second where I added a little more colour. I've blocked in the concept of the Golden Elk from the song I was inspired by, so I'll be loading progress images from that as it goes.

2020 was rough, and I'm only a few days in 2021, but I feel very at ease.

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[nonyabusnass]

The angel cat just killed me. Also I got this tea blended for me by a lady in a town in the middle of butt fuck nowhere, and it's so freaking good!

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[nonyabusnass]

Currently chilling because my MCL is being a cunt and it's pissing me off, so it's a couch day. However, I started making little canvases for the belated Christmas gifts for my bosses, and my order for the rest of my crew is coming, so I'm pretty excited!

The migraine started up after three days free, with a 17 day migraine prior. Perks of living in an area with Chinook arcs and well known for unpredictable weather, I suppose. Still waiting on the tablet from Wacom, and it feels like it's taking forever!

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[nonyabusnass]

I've not experienced VR, but I imagine this is what my life would be like.

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[redtree]

gorgeous paintings!

[nonyabusnass]

gorgeous paintings!

Thank you! I'm currently painting the focal point now, and I'm hoping I can get it done in maybe a month , but I get distracted easily!

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[nonyabusnass]

The tiny canvases are coming along nicely, but I fucked up the canvases for my male bosses, so I have to start over. But that's all right. They're easy to fix. It's when I have a large scale painting that I fuck up on that is difficult to repair, especially if it's highly textured, like the ones I've previously posted.

I'm still waiting on my tablet, but I'm super impatient and check like every hour for these things.

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[nonyabusnass]

I finished all my tiny canvases, and the rest of the little belated Christmas gifts for my coworkers! So those are being given out tomorrow. I started up on m husband's painting again, but I've been painting all day and my back is so sore! I've been trying to do a lot to avoid what's happening in the world at the moment.

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Original photo was potato quality, so I'm reuploading.

[nonyabusnass]

I binged a lot last night, well over 1800 to 2000 calories, so I'm a little disappointed in myself. But on the plus side, it was on caramel Dutch waffles, so it was a really good binge, even I did feel horrendous afterwards.

My boss was jealous of all the tiny canvases that I painted everyone and now he wants one. So I told him five bucks and a coffee and he said he'll give me ten. So now I'm painting a canvas. And now my husband wants one. So I guess I'll be a little busy

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[nonyabusnass]

Finished up the tiny canvases, and went back to working on my husband's painting. It's still a long way from finished, but I'm pretty happy with how it's coming along.

I decided to start up yoga again and try to stick with it. I'm tired of feeling tense and sore, and feeling like my ligaments are stretched to the limit. I need movement and I've been neglecting my mental health.

I mean, I know anorexia is one of my issues, but that is going to be something that I will deal with in time. Working on my flexibility and reducing pain will help assist me. I also have a minor surgery this week, and then I'm getting a consult for another slightly more complicated one.

I've had too many. This one will make over 20, and I don't know how much more my body can take. The thought or mortality and death is on my mind on a fairly regular basis, and I've accepted the fact that my future and death are not in my hands, and I will let my spirit be carried by my gods.

My husband doesn't want to talk about it. I understand. He's lost a lot of people. I keep these thoughts to myself, because I know it upsets him. I've brought it up a couple of times, mostly in passing, but he shuts down and won't speak of it.

And that's all right too. We all have our secrets. We all just need to slow down right now; we're going too fast. Even if it feels like we have ground to a half because of covid, it really hasn't. We've just been forced to slow down, and a lot of people are benefiting from it, and some aren't.

Some have become close knit, and others have had violent separations, divided by political opinions and prepared to divide families over whoever is in office. Mental health services and health care are stretched to the limit, but at the same time, new lives are starting, lives are being saved, and advancements in science are taking leaps and bounds.

I guess what I'm getting at is to take an opportunity to appreciate even one small detail around you, as a result from being forced to slow down. The latest detail I've noticed is the more empathetic the people around me have become. Compassion is becoming a little more common, speech and communication are becoming so much more treasured, and even with a mask, I can see people smile with their eyes.

It's a beautiful feeling to watch a toddler's eyes light up when you're saying hello and giving them all your positive attention, and they want to show you their stuffed animal.

I have my depressive days. I absolutely do. I'm three days into a very severe migraine and I'm sick of taking codeine. I've quit weed and edibles, because they're making me very ill. But can I fix it right now? No. But I have an appointment tomorrow which will bear fruit.

This is getting pretty long and is really wordy, so I'm going to end it. But I guess I just kind of vomited out a bunch of words that sounded like they made sense

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[nonyabusnass]

Also, I found this on reddit and it's absolutely brutal. As someone who has dated and dealt with several nice guys, and wound up marrying and divorcing one, this was something I wish I had had the balls to say.

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[nonyabusnass]

So this guy was apparently the inspiration for the Joker. He was featured in 1928, and I find him creepy asf.

I wish I was that clever to come up with that business name.

I also love this cat and he's Albertan!

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[nonyabusnass]

This is gonna be my first project on my new graphics tablet, methinks.

I can't wait until I get it! It's a Christmas present from my husband after I finally figured out what I wanted, since he wouldn't let me use it to pay bills, pay it forward, or donate it. So, I chose the tablet because sketchbooks and canvases are expensive.

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[nonyabusnass]

I got my tablet, but it was a disappointment., sadly. It seems I got a dud, as the pen pressure wouldn't respond and I couldn't fix it. The tablet wouldn't respond to the other pen and switching nibs didn't help.

So we're going to have to return it. I'm a little crushed, but I'm going to try a different model instead. I'm looking into a Wacom One, which has a screen and is much more responsive, I'm told. The cost is a little lower, and it's available in a store nearby. So once the return is processed, and the money is back with my husband, we'll go for that one.

I also have amazing news! I fully paid off my credit card! After months of saving, almost a year, I finally got it paid off. This will make saving for a house much easier and much quicker. I can't wait! So, disappointment with the tablet, but silver lining with the credit card.

Hopefully it'll be rectified soon.

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[nonyabusnass]

I have a raging migraine due to the horrendous weather we're having in my wonderful province, and because of our dumbass premier and his fucking cunt of a party, I now have to pay for the injections that I've been getting for 2.5 years out of pocket.

This asshole has been slowly killing us, and he's only been in power for two years. It's disgusting. I've never wanted to be involved in politics, but my God am I invested now.

However, it's not all doom and gloom; this is allowing me to explore and learn how to navigate the political spectrum and become more involved in grassroots politics and I've learned so much more over the past year that I'm very proud of myself. Even though my critical thinking and short term memory isn't nearly as good as it used to be because of the heavy regimen of medication that I'm on, I'm able to communicate much better through text than speech.

I also decided on a different graphics tablet after we return the other one. I'm leaning towards the XP Pen artist 22e. It's a big fuck off tablet that doubles as a secondary monitor. But, it allows me to draw directly on it, and I don't need to fiddle with any other bullshit. My painting is coming along nicely, but it's a slow process. This is just a section of it, and it's definitely not a finished section. The antlers aren't even remotely done.

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[nonyabusnass]

It's been a rough few days, but I'm now starting a new regimen for migraine relief, which will help me wean off of opioid and hopefully stabilize them. It seems like it's very promising, and I'm looking forward to getting off the opioid, because I can't stand them.

I'm still working on the painting, but it's currently stagnant, due to lots of appointments. I have surgery at the end of the month, and then another one will be scheduled in a few months.

I'm also looking at houses, and we might be able to purchase one soon. After finally fighting off debt, we're in a way better position. In four years, it's been cleared.

I'm happy and content, even if the last few days were a bit rough. I'm still feeling very optimistic.

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[nonyabusnass]

Today's thought:

So, I just saw an ad for some show on Amazon Prime, and in a snippet of it, an actress who I think is Tina Fey, dramatically slams a pregnancy test down on a table in front of some dude, who I think is her boyfriend/husband person.

Now, what's making me laugh about this, is that this scene is taking place in a fucking Cafe, of all places. A pregnancy test. You piss on those. A goddamn pregnancy test, and she just goes and slams this fucking thing on the table in a public place where some poor waitress has just cleaned it, and this Cafe is full of people. And it's like, "the fuck? Wtf are you doing lady? What in the flying hell are you doing carrying around a test that you peed on in your purse to show to some dude in a public place? You nasty.".

And then she's giving the dude this look like, "hey, this is positive and you're the father" and movie logic seems to forget that the longer you wait on most tests, the more likely that it's going to give you a false positive.

I know I'm looking waaaay too much into it, but that scene is just making me laugh way too much and I can't stop thinking about it. And I'm still giggling about it. I'm not even high.

I need more things to do in my life, but it makes me happy that I can take humour from even the smallest things. That five second scene has made my morning.

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[nonyabusnass]

I got my new drawing tablet! It took a little bit to set up, but it weighs a ton, AND HOLY SHIT IT WORKS. I'm so happy, and I've already started on projects! I've downloaded an open source photoshop clone, which is taking a little bit of getting used to, but the tablet and pens are responsive, battery free, it has tilt detection, and can be used as a dual monitor.

It's funny, I've always been a traditional media person. I only drew with mouse when I pursued digital, and had difficulty with the small tablet I used. So when I used a mouse, there was an extreme amount of magnification to avoid overpixelation. I drew the original lineart in paint, of all applications (this was like 17 years ago, longer than some of you have been alive, so stone age PCs ), and then used photoshop to finish them off.

Going back to it feels strange, but comfortable. I'm excited to see what else I can do. I'm wondering if I can find an open source Corel clone as well. This is much better than flooding our apartment with several hundred dollars of canvases and paints.

I've also started writing a new thinspo story, which will hopefully make its debut fairly soon. And there's images. So it's something! Here's hoping the rest of the day goes as well for all of you as it has for me.

Have a great evening, everyone.

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[nonyabusnass]

So, I discovered this vegan dark chocolate orange filled bar that's 160 calories for four big as squares. And I'm so happy to have found it, because it was so good!

I am almost finished my traditional media painting, and there is a new concept I've already got blocked out in my sketchbook, and another that I'm thinking of right now. I'm really enjoying having this creativity flowing through my veins.

I did have a little stumbling block last night and today; my husband and I got in an argument and we both had a lot of tears. He's admitted that he's bringing home his stress from work, and I'm just extremely overbearing. And during a minor argument we had today, he mentioned something about my ex, which wasn't directed at me, and I had a massive panic attack.

It felt good after all the tears and the sobbing and the nose sniffing and the wailing. From my toes to my head, I felt clearer, lighter. My head didn't feel as heavy, and my lungs felt able to take a better breath, and my eyes just felt less heavy.

For me, it sucks to have an attack like that, but it feels so good afterward. I have surgery next week, so it's all positive thoughts from here, and hope that everything goes well.

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