If you had to choose between the two.
Do you want to look beautiful, be popular, be aesthetic, be desirable,
Or do you want to look sick and fragile, and physically convey your mental suffering?
Simply aesthetically speaking.
Because there are many other parts to ED, as we well know.
Also, no shame in being either.
The compulsion to starve and self-destruct is real and present in both cases.
l lean towards the latter, although I sometimes (rarely, these days) can enjoy feeling beautiful.
People I love don't acknowledge my mental health issues unless I look the part.
I like looking as sick as I am inside. It's sad. I'm sad.