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Aesthetics-wise, do you want to look beautiful or sick?

eating disorder anorexia sick beautiful looks aesthetic motive underlying cause reasons

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#21 Treble

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 07:48 AM

If you had to choose between the two.
Do you want to look beautiful, be popular, be aesthetic, be desirable,
Or do you want to look sick and fragile, and physically convey your mental suffering?
 
Simply aesthetically speaking.
Because there are many other parts to ED, as we well know.
 
Also, no shame in being either.
The compulsion to starve and self-destruct is real and present in both cases.
 
l lean towards the latter, although I sometimes (rarely, these days) can enjoy feeling beautiful.
People I love don't acknowledge my mental health issues unless I look the part.
I like looking as sick as I am inside. It's sad. I'm sad.


I want to look sick, because to me that is beautiful
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#22 skinniestbitchalive

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 07:49 AM

on the one hand I wanna lose weight because I think my body is gross as it is and feel like id look better smaller 

 

but there is a part of me that just wants my body to match what is going on in my head - like I feel awful and shit mentally and its so hard having anorexia when you aren't in a visibly sick body.

 

saying that tho when I did look sick I remember still feeling rubbish mentally lol


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#23 vanillasoylatte

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 07:53 AM

.No I agree she is extremely sick and it's all fake, def not trying to idolize her or say she's not in deep shit, just saying the ED part of me wants to be at that point. Maybe health wasn't the right word bc she is definitely in poor condition atm, I guess what I mean is the appearance of health or energy, even though it's fake as hell.


Ok got you! Also agree. My ED brain thinks she looks amazing.
Because I’m absolute shit at pretending to be happy like her
I’m irritable, cranky, depressed & can’t even fake being happy when I’m really sick.
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#24 the purple butterfly

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 08:26 AM

Worrying thin like model type thinness

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#25 VioletL

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 08:27 AM

Both tbh

#26 aluminé

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 08:33 AM

Both haha

#27 SillYWillyWantsToBeSkinny

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 09:27 AM

well i mostly want to look sick, kind of as a cry for help because any time i verbally vent to my parents they scream at me, and because someone who hurt me a while ago is scared of really boney people so theyll be too grossed out to look at me. but i also want to look healthy and handsome, but still thin, because i dont wanna scare off my bf. tho im not sure if that would happen because he's really kind


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119-118-117-116-115-114-113-112-111-110

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#28 ArCeMo

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 09:30 AM

I want to look angelically sick, like a Victoria Secret model with cheekbones that could murder someone... does that make sense?


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#29 stryx

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 09:32 AM

sick. as horrible as this might sound, i just want someone to notice what im going through and actually express concern lol


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#30 moonlove_x

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 09:36 AM

beautiful

i dont think i will ever look sick because i will always look fat

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#31 K1llingcals

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 09:57 AM

I want to be beautiful, but to an extent where it isn’t concerning and others can SEE there’s something wrong but unsure of how to react

#32 justneedtobethin

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 09:59 AM

also, sick body and beautyfull face



#33 𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐬

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 10:10 AM

sick

it's gross but I still love the pale, scars, bruised, stick thin aesthetic

I'll probably never get past that


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#34 etherelle

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 10:34 AM

When I was younger I definitely wanted to look sick, the past couple months it’s changed to wanting to look beautiful

I think seeing everyone so worried about me already made me not want to hurt them anymore so I no longer want to look like that


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Stats: Height: 5'3.5" ish CW: 84.4 lbs LW: same as cw HW: 116

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#35 LifeInTheDark

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 10:37 AM

In the past iv'e strictly wanted to look sick and emaciated. Now I just want to be beautiful, perfect, VS Angel like.


You only hear the music when your heart begins to break..

.tumblr_mwyxulq2S61qgy1evo2_250.gif 91eadfaf6390be1a6a335e03c1976917.jpg DF9-B9609-D16-C-4509-8484-6-FA31-C8325-D These, our bodies, possessed by light...
my thinspo/bonespo https://www.myproana...inspobonespo-3/

my accountabilityhttps://www.myproana.../#entry73804215

my ballet thinspo https://www.myproana...llet-thinspo-3/

Lw: 64.5 lbs/BMI of 10.6 - CW:174- GW 1: 160 GW 2: 130 GW 3: 115 Gw 4: 105 UGW: 105

My body goals:

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#36 Kites

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 10:40 AM

tbh being skeleton-thin isn't even really my vision of what I want to look like. Like it is, but it isn't? It's just the necessary consequence of achieving my goals. It actually poses a sort of challenge, because people will start noticing, and I have a job and family who I don't want to be clued into what's going on. I wish I could just lose weight forever into my ultimate death without being noticed lol.

 

I suppose I want to look beautiful. But not in a "I need to be bony in order to be thin" sort of way. Just in a normal way.


·.¸¸.·♩♪♫ life is so french toast to me ♫♪♩·.¸¸.·

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bodychecks and stream of consciousness


#37 hentai

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 11:07 AM

beautiful for sure. i don't want anyone to get suspicious and force me into treatment.

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5'4

 

 

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#38 yellow_sun

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 11:09 AM

Well both... I want to look beautifully sick...
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#39 seven07

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 11:11 AM

sick

not because i want people to notice or anything, i just think i'd like how it looks on me. i genuinely don't care about being attractive lmao


he/they mf

there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure

 

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#40 arexxie

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 11:11 AM

sick



Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: eating disorder, anorexia, sick, beautiful, looks, aesthetic, motive, underlying cause, reasons

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