Just to touch on the dating apps thing, though I never used an actual app, I did talk to a couple guys online and the thing that's stood out to me is just because we might have had some chemistry while chatting or hanging out, doesn't mean it'll be the same when we finally meet. I met someone online some years ago, and we were like each others' perfect match. On paper. Then when we met there was just nothing, and they ghosted me and it fucking sucked. That probably wouldn't happen every time but for me I'd rather just stick to in person and not waste my time getting my hopes up.
Anyway, I also feel like I'll be alone forever. I never was good at forming personal connections or talking to new people anyway. I'm asexual, not that crazy about sex, don't want children, and am not Christian/religious, and that makes it extra difficult. I feel like most of the men my age will have had kids already and I just can't with that lol. It feels pretty hopeless.
For now I'm just trying to improve things with myself. Get skinny and hot, get financially stable. Get my own place. Because honestly, if I did meet someone, he's not fucking coming over here lmao. I live with my parents still and our dog don't like outsiders. Some date that'd be! So literally it feels pointless to even bother with a man.
And tbh I have no fucking clue how people are hooking up in a pandemic. Do they just not give a fuck? Is the first date to get a covid test? It's lost on me and I know I'm too scared to make that kind of risk.