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Mockingbird’s poems


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#1 Mockingbird9

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Posted 16 February 2021 - 03:47 AM

So
I decided to share my crappy poems
Because I wanna feel heard.
Okay they might not be real poems
But I try
To let go of my feelings
This way.

Opinions and advice are welcome,
Please if you’d like to copy take the writers name.
Thanks.

Height: 4'11"

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LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

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#2 Mockingbird9

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Posted 16 February 2021 - 03:48 AM

-Untitled 1-

gambling with my heart
rolling a blank dice
“you can win”
you told that joke twice.

ice so thin,
I fear it might break
cracking layers
how much shit I can take?

quit the game,
abandon the mess.
let go,
I can’t bear the stress.

missing you more than
I’d like to admit
it bothers me how
I was conditioned to
take every hit

the remnants of it are still
haunting my dreams but
I will feel purged soon
I will be clean

having everything now
feeling the bless
ice has turned to flames and
there’s nothing to miss.

-mockingbird
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LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#3 Mockingbird9

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Posted 16 February 2021 - 03:51 AM

-tailoring-

3 am you crawled to me
the darkness has swallowed
what was left alive in you.
all over your skin were bruises blooming
open wounds and blood pooling.

I tried to sew your pieces.
I knew you’d come out of it brand new
I thought you were worth hanging on to.

and there I was, suspended by a string when
you asked to borrow my tools and
I watched as my needles;
the ones I used to stitch you
were the ones that poked me

I thought you’d quit and hold me
only to find you holding the string to control me

I fell hard off a cliff
with no chance to see
what was below me

so I looked up only to find
you holding my scissors.

you cut those fibers
you threw me.

it was too late to realize that
the good in you wasn’t meant for me.

here I am, it’s 3 am again and
I’d like to knit with you one more time
if you agree.

-mockingbird
Thanks for the help @gnome chompsky
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Height: 4'11"

HW: 49 kg

LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#4 Mockingbird9

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Posted 16 February 2021 - 07:21 AM

-The black hole-

𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥

𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳

𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴

𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵

𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥

𝘐 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘥

𝘐 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵

𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘱 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵

𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘢 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘵

-mockingbird
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Height: 4'11"

HW: 49 kg

LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#5 Mockingbird9

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Posted 17 February 2021 - 01:58 AM

- Untitled 2 - not exactly a poem

Head down, 3 am, 15th of august.

I am swinging in the hallway. I need to rest.

Just one last check up.

I read: 32

In my head, it's not bad.. Where's my milestone trophy?

𝘖𝘩 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘱. 𝘼𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣.

𝘚𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥, 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥, 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥.

𝙎𝙩𝙪𝙥𝙞𝙙.

There’s about 8 mirrors in my room.

You see, my memory is fucked, too.

𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦.

𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦. 𝘍𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴.

She stares at me through most of them as I walk back in,

She looks disappointed this time.

It's been so long since I saw her expressing such an emotion.

I can hear her asphyxiated voice, the bitterness is overwhelming.

"What have you done? What's this about?"

"WHY?"

I squeeze my biceps, throw a frown, and think..

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮?

𝘜𝘩... 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴.

𝘜𝘴. 𝘛𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦. 𝘐𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴?

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘦, 𝘐 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸... 𝘞𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭, 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥?

"Nope, not it. Not this. Not that. Why? Talk to me. What happened?"

"WHERE is your voice?"

"ANSWER ME!"

L o n g p a u s e.

"I heard you cry."

"Pathetic."

𝘏𝘢𝘭𝘧 𝘢 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭, 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥.

𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘵.

𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘵.

"There's nothing left inside. There's nothing left outside. I mean, soon enough... IF you kept it up."

“Just GROW the fuck up.”

𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵.

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘩?

Then she drifted right away, but it took more for my exhausted brain to realize... We didn't even have the chance to chat.

I screamed:

"𝘞𝘢𝘪𝘵! 𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦!

𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦. 𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯."

Echoes.

Followed by silence.

𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳. 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵.

𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘶𝘱.

𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦.
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Height: 4'11"

HW: 49 kg

LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#6 Mockingbird9

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Posted 17 February 2021 - 10:08 AM

Bulimia

it was my friend but
it took my pearls
it pierced my guts and
my payback was to feel

choking up my time
ready to decay
wasting what is mine
it never mattered anyway.

everyday, all day
it’s knocking on my door.
it was never a lullaby,
I wish I realized that before.
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Height: 4'11"

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LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#7 spbel

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Posted 17 February 2021 - 08:21 PM

I loving these. You’re very talented.
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quad me nutrit me destruit

#8 Mockingbird9

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Posted 25 February 2021 - 09:41 AM

the traitor, the rape
tying the victim,
burning evidence
setting the house ablaze
for an escape, the greatest escape
but it was just you raping yourself
and setting up the chains
how would you request a trial?
how would you even complain?
what even is your case?
what will the judges say?
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Height: 4'11"

HW: 49 kg

LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#9 Mockingbird9

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Posted 25 February 2021 - 09:42 AM

I loving these. You’re very talented.

Thank you so much

Height: 4'11"

HW: 49 kg

LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#10 Mockingbird9

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Posted 25 February 2021 - 12:56 PM

I wallow in nothingness until
it’s what I can’t bear
So I knit stories in my head and
create feelings that aren’t there
I fill up on nothing and
drain out, quavering: it’s not fair
those tears: my show,
my despair.
the hollow inside is invincible, I feel
but seriously,
none of this was ever real.
and I promise, all you know is
nothing of what I feel
if I ever felt
if I ever felt
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Height: 4'11"

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LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#11 Mockingbird9

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Posted 31 March 2021 - 02:56 PM

the night after you haunt my dreams

realities merge
riding hurt beams
beating the surge

extreme scheme is
where the pain roots
and how it emerges

not even on the
verge of a retch
you were the pain
I could not purge.

Height: 4'11"

HW: 49 kg

LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#12 Mockingbird9

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Posted 25 May 2021 - 05:03 PM

1-10 poem

one, lower your voice then
turn tears into rain after
three nights of waiting for
a bus in a train lane
but you had to keep on
pretending it’ll arrive, no complains
five AM, is when you were crowned as the queen of loneliness and pain
questioning
doesn’t it ever drive you insane?
and wondering,
is your life really in vain?
eight weeks to realize he was
beyond your ken and
nine months before
he walked away and another ten
for you to never feel weak again.

Height: 4'11"

HW: 49 kg

LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#13 Mockingbird9

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Posted 03 June 2021 - 02:36 PM

Boy

and from the first second we met
I knew I’ll be owing you
an unplayable debt
cause you've been upset
about everything you can't control
implying I had to make up for it
by fueling your ego.
and I don’t know why but
I still stood by even though
you said once that I should be leaving.
you said you appreciated what I do
but then you mocked my words,
I bet they made you feel inferior.
you said you hated my tone
it made you lose your comfort
but you still acted superior.
and every time you would
stare for a while with loathing
in both of your eyes
as if I was a demon.
they said you were so uneven
but I didn’t believe them
until I learned to walk away.

Inspired from Kettering.
  • * Mia Culpa * likes this

Height: 4'11"

HW: 49 kg

LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#14 Mockingbird9

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Posted 03 June 2021 - 02:36 PM

Aftermath

I try to empathize and
be present and be more social
but riotous hypocrisy bubbles
from my lips, and sometimes
it makes me feel like
a fucking joker.

and when they ask how I really feel
I try my best to make it vocal,
but I get paralyzed and
I lose my vocals.
lagged brains and
eyes that are out of focus,
I wonder sometimes
if they ever really notice?

but then again, if I said the truth
they won't be able to digest it;
cause how can someone
seem very empathetic and
yet be completely apathetic?

maybe I'm a cliché but
I doubt that changing will
ever make a difference,
so I stay in my head.
I'd rather be indifferent.
  • * Mia Culpa * likes this

Height: 4'11"

HW: 49 kg

LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#15 Mockingbird9

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Posted 03 June 2021 - 02:37 PM

Kids

are you yearning for the past?
because it was all fun and games
until we have seen the chains.

they said "you're the future"
but the future was the abuser
burning us to the core and
cutting those wings
reshaping us into seeping
amorphous crawling things
and we will never know;
where does it end?
when did it even begin?

I wish I had a different story to tell
but just like puppets in a play
we are alive with no will
the dreams we were ought to have
were destined to be killed.

Height: 4'11"

HW: 49 kg

LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#16 Mockingbird9

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Posted 05 June 2021 - 07:13 PM

Self(ish)

possessions, obsessions
pick and choose
use and abuse

always my way
I don’t care about
who you are or
what you do and
what you have to say.

fake, lie, deceive

break, take, defeat

dirt, wipe, bleach

can you see
what’s beneath the surface?
they say:
it takes a narc to know a narc
and to put them in place.
  • * Mia Culpa * likes this

Height: 4'11"

HW: 49 kg

LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 


#17 Mockingbird9

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Posted 22 June 2021 - 08:00 PM

Eat yourself again

wake up with the ghost again
try and call the "you"
do the dead revive?
bet you have no clue.

this shell of a body,
an amorphous machine
flipping it inside out
been doing it since fifteen

rationality is absent
aren’t numbers the only thing?

don’t deny anything
it's worth it, isn't it?

high as a kite
freaking superior
ultimately clean.

want your flesh ripped out
even if it implied you being weak
this E/D has left holes in
the frontal lobe
it's not anymore a secret to keep.

Height: 4'11"

HW: 49 kg

LW: 30.3 kg

CW: 33.6 (probably gaining..)

GW: Sick. dead. nonexistence.

 



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