Yeah, same. I'm 19 and part of me is glad for being on my own now, figuring out the reasons behind so much of my life and I have made amazing strides as far as building my resilience and abilities to stand on my own two feet... sort of. But right now my struggles with my mental health are, in essence, the exact feelings of inadequacy I had in middle and high school (trouble with various things, particularly just. functioning, really) and I oftentimes feel stuck in time, like I'm the exact person I was in high school, even middle school, though I remember it even less. Truthfully, thinking about significant life events, I realize I'm not the same after some experiences I've had, plus, the lifestyle that comes with living on my own and being in college is very different. But at the end of the day when it comes to my mental state, I'm still me; still confused and still struggling with the same bullshit and feeling like a lost kid that just needs direction. A lot of that comes from being unfulfilled due to poor relationship with my parents too, I think, and wishing for lost time/wishing my childhood was better and that I received mental health intervention before now.
I think a lot about how I wish someone would just take care of me; that someone could just buy my shitty ED food and set my schedule for the day and drive me where I need to go. I know that's selfish but I can't help but wish things weren't so stressful and hard for me as they are; basic things take so much energy and planning and steps that I can barely get anything done it feels like. My health is shit, physical and mental, I don't have anyone to support me currently and don't know how to talk to people yet want friends yet also am too afraid anyway, I hate how I look, and on top of it all am still dealing with absolutely despising this god-awful flesh prison and how out of control my ED has become. I feel as immature and helpless as I was in high school, except now I just have the right words for what shit I'm going through.
I don't think it helps that recently it became "official" that I've had body image issues for at least half my life. hooray.
Sorry for the long rant, I think I just needed to get all that out haha