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i think my bf has arfid and i don’t know what to do


4 replies to this topic

#1 androidgirl

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Posted 07 March 2021 - 12:23 PM

i’m trying to be supportive of him but i’m just watching his health deteriorate because he has started binging and i’m scared

he doesn’t eat any fruit or vegetables, his diet is mostly crisps/chips, fries, chicken, bread and chocolate. he will not eat anything else.

i try to convince him to try other things (i have got him to try 2 vegetables and a fruit in the past 3 years), but it’s hard because i don’t want to overdo it and come across as controlling because he gets really scared when trying new foods so i tend to drop it. i don’t want to push him but it also makes me feel like an enabler

recently he’s started binging/overeating and has gained a bunch of weight. e.g he when he orders a mcdonald’s he will order 40 nuggets and 3 large fries. when he cooks frozen chicken nuggets he will put the whole bag in the oven. last night he ate 4 chocolate bars while we were watching tv. he eats around 5-6 packets of chips/crisps a day.

i’m scared because i know his health wouldn’t have been the best beforehand but now he’s eating more and gaining weight i know he’s getting unhealthier. i’ve tried convincing him to see a doctor and he said he would when covids over but it’s hard watching him do this.


this is more letting this off my chest rather than asking for help. but if anybody has any advice it would be appreciated

5"5

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cw & lw: 127

 

 

 

ugw: 112


#2 kitn

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Posted 07 March 2021 - 12:28 PM

you're right to be concerned and to encourage him to either try new things himself or see a doctor for help. 

 

sometimes this and love is all you can do in these situations.. but expressing to him how concerned you are is not wrong.


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#3 impmon

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Posted 07 March 2021 - 12:31 PM

no grown adult needs 40 nuggets or 4 chocolate bars. not in a sitting, not even in a day. my overweight husband doesnt eat like that. his obese mom with no self control doesnt eat like that.

that's a blatant unhealthy coping mechanism and he needs to be seeing a professional 'cause 1. he's got no control and needs to learn some and 2. he's hurting himself and 3. youre just his SO and shouldnt have to be stuck between tolerating/enabling him and trying to force him to have a meltdown but eat anything else. this isn't what you deserve and he deserves being pressured to seek help and control. 

like i know the internet loves to tell people dont give people ultimatums, but give him one. tell him he either actually tries to get control of this, or you're out. you dont deserve witnessing this. he doesnt deserve the universe ignoring his self harm and enabling him.


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#4 GothGhoulfriend

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Posted 07 March 2021 - 01:33 PM

He needs to see a doctor NOW. Suddenly binge-eating to the extent he's doing is extremely concerning. He could be suffering from a severe nutritional deficiency from his poor diet that his body is trying to correct. Don't just leave this alone, it is a serious issue with very negative possible repercussions.
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#5 androidgirl

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Posted 07 March 2021 - 03:15 PM

no grown adult needs 40 nuggets or 4 chocolate bars. not in a sitting, not even in a day. my overweight husband doesnt eat like that. his obese mom with no self control doesnt eat like that.

that's a blatant unhealthy coping mechanism and he needs to be seeing a professional 'cause 1. he's got no control and needs to learn some and 2. he's hurting himself and 3. youre just his SO and shouldnt have to be stuck between tolerating/enabling him and trying to force him to have a meltdown but eat anything else. this isn't what you deserve and he deserves being pressured to seek help and control. 

like i know the internet loves to tell people dont give people ultimatums, but give him one. tell him he either actually tries to get control of this, or you're out. you dont deserve witnessing this. he doesnt deserve the universe ignoring his self harm and enabling him.

 

 

He needs to see a doctor NOW. Suddenly binge-eating to the extent he's doing is extremely concerning. He could be suffering from a severe nutritional deficiency from his poor diet that his body is trying to correct. Don't just leave this alone, it is a serious issue with very negative possible repercussions.

 

 i'm def gonna try and push him to see a doctor as soon as possible. living in this situation i obviously have my concerns but sometimes you just need people to be honest with you to realise how messed up of a situation it actually is so thank u guys


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5"5

hw: 196

 

 

 

cw & lw: 127

 

 

 

ugw: 112




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