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Those 'I'm too old for this' moments


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#1 Ami.london

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Posted 10 March 2021 - 03:26 PM

Do you ever have those moments where you think "how am I still doing this dumb shit"?

Like last week I took max strength laxitives for 5 days in a row, I know what it does to me, I know how it'll end, and of course I had that mortifying moment where I didn't quite make it 🤦🏻‍♀️ and now here I am again, taking another one. I'm 35 years old, when will I stop being such a dumbass?
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#2 skinnyjeans00

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Posted 11 March 2021 - 11:15 AM

That’s how I feel every time I binge. Like come on, you didn’t get this out of your system at 15? Yet here I am lol
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#3 Gracefullybelle

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Posted 13 March 2021 - 07:06 PM

Absolutely. How am i still mentally where i was at 16 now at 30? how is this still an issue for me? 


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#4 dulcelocura

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Posted 13 March 2021 - 11:14 PM

Yup. I just took a laxative for the first time in a couple years even though I know how badly this is going to go and I just don’t understand why I never stopped doing any of this. How am I still here

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#5 rcanina

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Posted 14 March 2021 - 03:54 AM

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#6 Ham// now Archivist @EDC

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Posted 21 March 2021 - 02:45 AM

Honestly, the thing that makes me feel old is when people post those super dramatic posts where they're crying because they ate 5 calories more than the imaginary number they made in their head that they think will make them lose weight so obviously they're going to gain on 300 calories. That was -so- me when I was younger so I can relate but I cannot imagine still holding that sort of dramatic belief anymore. 


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#7 jkbs8

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Posted 26 March 2021 - 09:48 PM

Me recently realizing the meal I was fixing for my 6 year old was like 600 cals and thus, he was eating more in a meal than I sometimes do in a day 

 

Also coming on here and seeing all the kids never fails to make me feel old lol


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#8 Unsatisfaction85

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Posted 28 March 2021 - 06:16 AM

I’m so happy I just found this forum for over 30. I been feeling so miserable

I’m 35
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#9 ChunkyGurl

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Posted 30 March 2021 - 10:05 AM

Ugh yeah I get this nearly every day lol Im getting too old for this shizzle

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#10 Toxicwastedgal

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Posted 08 April 2021 - 12:23 PM

I've weirdly been going through a thing when I get cravings and I'm like "you've had almost 30 years of eating food, you know what all this tastes like so why do you feel you need it?!" moments. Also like I KNOW how to lose weight, I KNOW cals in vs out works and I KNOW I don't have parents and such to make me eat, and I don't care if people become concerned if I'm not really eating anymore yet STILL find myself binging or even looking for reasons to say fuck it all and binge... like wtf I wanna be skinny so bad yet here I am still binging after all these years... On another hand I haven't purged in years so there's that I guess...

I ready to just say fuck it all and restrict yet years of bulimia and ednos seem to make it next to impossible to just let go and consistently starve :/


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#11 PixietheKitten

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Posted 08 April 2021 - 02:19 PM

yup, im 36 and still binge/purge and i feel as like wtf ure not a teen anymore.


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#12 heifer

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Posted 08 April 2021 - 02:28 PM

Just the fact that I'm a 35-year-old mom who flirts about with disordered eating is pretty sad.

 

I look at my own mom when she was my age, with 7 kids (who only came along after they were married and bought a house) and a good teaching career, and how she always did her best for us and put us first.  And here I am a single mom with 1 kid I can barely look after (I don't even have primary custody of him, his dad does) and on homeless housing support with no hope of ever buying a house, and a part-time job ...

 

I mean, it's a big improvement from a couple of years ago when I was in addiction and living on the streets and only ever had supervised access with my kid!  But still.  I really should have my life together better than this.

 

I had a lot of trauma in my childhood and I guess, in terms of maturity, I'm probably still only in my teens.  It's just hard to match up how inside I feel like I'm still only a young one, when in real life I guess I'm far from it!!


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#13 mia_me

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Posted 11 April 2021 - 05:39 AM

yes I'm turning 35.. no kids, no husband anymore, no house, no friends

Is my life f.. up?
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#14 EllaMay

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Posted 12 April 2021 - 05:35 AM

Literally why I came to this thread. Turning 35 this year and keep convincing myself I’m fat cause I’ve aged and I should just give up


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#15 Shrinkingbabydoll

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Posted 12 April 2021 - 11:27 AM

Hi All. im 35 years old from Australia.

i am married with no children and currently relapsing after gaining all my weight back in recovery over the last year.

what i am SUPPOSED to be doing is focusing on getting pregnant and having a child before my time to do it runs out.

what am i doing instead?

Starving myself, eating 300 to 450 calories daily, calorie counting, laxatives and meal skipping. Taking the pill in secret to stop me getting pregnant because my ED brain says that if i get pregnant now that i will blow up to the size of a house and i will never be skinny again.

so first i have to get as skinny as possible again to allow myself "room to grow" for when i do get pregnant.

who knows i may run out of time before then and its just not fair to my husband.

by the way if any of you would like a friend in your 30s that you can talk to regularly then DM me sometime:)


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#16 up.and.down

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Posted 12 April 2021 - 04:11 PM

I was just saying this to my therapist.. like how/why am I in my 30's and still feeling this way? I hate it.


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#17 Haci

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Posted 12 April 2021 - 06:00 PM

Absolutely. I was scrolling through here thinking about how in some ways I haven't changed since college. Wtf
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#18 blacknailsandcorsets

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Posted 12 April 2021 - 09:12 PM

I feel way too old for this shit any time I try to join a community, or talk to someone online. Most of the times I suddenly realize I am an ((( impostor ))) among 15 years old teenagers and I wonder what am I doing with my life.


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#19 Unsatisfaction85

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Posted 14 April 2021 - 05:02 PM

yes I'm turning 35.. no kids, no husband anymore, no house, no friends

Is my life f.. up?


Same for me. No kids no married no house... don’t wanna see friends

#20 Unsatisfaction85

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Posted 14 April 2021 - 05:02 PM

I feel way too old for this shit any time I try to join a community, or talk to someone online. Most of the times I suddenly realize I am an ((( impostor ))) among 15 years old teenagers and I wonder what am I doing with my life.



I feel the same, sometimes I think I could be their mum....
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