17 replies to this topic

[TreatmentDidntWork]

I have no career, no college degree (almost there though), and I still live in my parents' house. I almost feel like I'm still that fucked up fifteen year old who didn't know how to deal with her emotions, except that I'm older now and any tolerance anybody ever had for my bullshit is gone. 

 

My peers are graduated and have Real Jobs™ and husbands and wives and families. A lot of them have mortgages. Some of them have babies. Some of them don't even have babies anymore, they have children. When did that happen. 

 

I'm in my mid twenties and I can't even feed myself correctly.

[kumorijimins]

YOOOOO literally. i feel so bad about my situation right now. i quit my job, paused school, and paused my study abroad plans to start ed treatment and like before i had this “there’s no rush” mentality like so what im 23 and still live at home? so what im a little behind on my bachelors degree? BUT one of my therapists is 25 and i look at her like ... bro she’s 25 with 2 degrees, a COUNSELING job, a boyfriend, just got her own apartment. it makes me upset about where i am but at the same time it’s a good motivator

[shadoweyes]

I dont fully feel the same as when I was 14/15 but on a lot of levels I do. I'm 20 now and feel like I'm going nowhere and useless. Im too anxious to get a job and don't have a degree. I feel like I fucked up when I was younger and it's stuck like that now. I know its not necessarily, but I cant get myself to fix it because of the guilt from it and everything else.

[strangercats]

Yes. This is how I feel 99.9% of the time nowadays. I am a complete failure and loser. 

 

I have a degree. I actually went to a very expensive catholic university and graduated with the highest honors. Unfortunately, almost 3 years later, I don't work in my field. I tried so hard to get jobs (and even opportunities during college) in my major, but got rejected each time. I've given up now on my dreams since it's way too late for me. I work at a public school now with students. While I do like my job, it pays high school money and puts my Bachelor's right in the trash. It's a good thing I did not go straight to my Master's the way I had originally planned. 

 

To top it off, I don't drive. I have way too much anxiety to take the driver's test after I failed once over 6 years ago. Never been behind the wheel since that day. I don't have a credit card. I still live with my parents and probably always will on my salary. I don't have a boyfriend. I had one boyfriend in my life and that like 6 years ago. I have no friends. The only people I text are my mother, father, and sister. Those are the only conversations on my phone. If I am being honest, my eating disorder and depression are all I have in life.

 

So whenever you feel bad about yourself, just think, "At least I'm not this girl." 

[xgreyhoundx]

Seriously, same. I'm 25 (26 in May, tick tock goes the clock) still living at home, haven't worked in years, no driver's license (+ severe phobia of driving to boot), little to no mental stability, my only two friends are steadily employed, and one of them has a five-year-old. Everyone grew up without me.

So much shame involved... Even if no one says anything about it, I can't help but think everyone around me thinks I'm a lazy leechy lump of shit.

[XbloodnbonesX]

!!!! Me everyday. 

[Skelemelon]

I'm 21 but in the same boat. I've been living with my boyfriend's parents for 2 years now, which is as weird as it sounds. Dropped out of my first year of community college because I went for a useless art degree. (I questioned wtf I was doing when the exam was to make a doc martin shoe out of masking tape) Now I take online courses and get straight D's, but hey I guess that's better than failing. 

A couple months ago I quit the best job I had ever worked, a factory job. Gah it was so good, literally 80 hrs a week of the same repetitive shit. Mega corporate so I was just another employee that got the same workload as everyone else, and everyone kept to themselves. I quit because there was a covid outbreak and they wouldn't give me days off to get tested. Haven't had a job since, I don't know why. My boyfriend and I just sit at home, doing nothing all day every day. To be fair, we're waiting to close on a piece of land we're buying, but I want to do something more with my time than playing minecraft, haha. Shit's depressing.

[OKaP]

I am right there with you. The only reason I’ve moved out of my parents is because my boyfriend pays all the bills. I’m completely directionless and haven’t accomplished anything in like 8 years since I graduated high school. I’m just fumbling around with my Ed full time.

[Team_DietDrPepper]

I get that 100%, Im almost 30 an feel I have nothing to show for it. No partner, no kids, I still live with my parents, I need help paying my bills. IT all sucks 

[anski]

Yup. I’m 26 but I still feel like the teenager I was when I was first diagnosed. Like I feel my ED def hasn’t let me grow up properly. I feel like I’ll never be fully an adult in a way ? Like I’ll always have this one thing that’s linked to being a teenager that I’m struggling with.

[hippo-hips]

I don't live on my own because my mom won't let me and it doesn't help that I'm disabled so that really doesn't help my case. I probably won't live alone for another 20 years because my mom has trouble letting go. I also have only had two jobs in my adult life and work became so difficult that I got on disability. I treasure any alone time I get now because when my mom retires in a few years I won't have as much alone time. Sometimes there are honestly no solutions.

[TinyCray]

I do. Turning 24 soon, about to graduate from uni yet I feel like I’ll be a mess trying to get a job and so on. I feel like I’m still a child and just playing pretend, I’ve felt this way for so long I don’t know what to do anymore. Like seriously, I’m stuck.

[Stopdropandstay]

all the time. Even when things are going well, I feel like it's all a lie and I've somehow managed to slip by, and I'll be exposed in no time.

I feel like I don't deserve the things I have. 

I feel so much more incompetent than my peers.

[cassie ainsworth]

i'm 27 and all i have to show for it is a degree in a field that traumatized me (psychology lol). i had to move back in with my parents because i lost my job to covid. i've never even been able to hold a job for more than six months and i've still been in disability limbo for three fucking years. my relationship is dog shit and has been for months but neither of us is smart enough to break things off. i've lost control in every single aspect of my life over the last year so my brain flipped the switch and i'm back on my restricting bullshit. i'm so fucking psychotic (not being coy here- schizoaffective) that activities of daily living are excruciatingly hard, to the point where i either have a job or have my hygiene, not both. 

 

i just ache for a sense of normalcy. i would kill to be in a dead-end job. i would kill to be a housewife. i would kill to be anywhere but here with my fucking parents at 27. young me was proud of being "unique" and "gifted" but now i'm a social pariah who can't even shower daily. i would kill to just be boring. normal.

 

i know this all sounds dark but honestly on the day to day, i don't ruminate on my life situation. many things are out of my control and worrying about them doesn't accomplish anything anyway. i actually find comfort in nihilism. it can scare some people, but i find comfort in the void. it's nice to know that at the end of the day, nothing i do matters anyway. kind of takes a lot of the pressure off tbh. and i'd rather be a speck of dust in the cosmos than a grown ass woman living with her parents any day of the week lol.

[Iliveadoublelifesorry]

22, no job, no degree at all, can't drive, no friends, no partner, loser. I wasted my young years being ugly,fat and depressed.

[downsizinminions]

Yep I feel failure but I'm now doing special needs middle school(my parents pushed for mainstreaming the only thing I learned was barista mum still thinks at law school) living in a psych ward for 3 years only 5 days home leave(but that was more about getting mum out of a situation and failed so back hospital ) I get to do a lot of time to practice art and some of the groups are good but there's not real recovery focused stuff

[FeelLikeFading]

Unfortunately yes. I'm 20, turning 21 in June. I'm getting my associates degree in a few months. Never worked a day in my life, so I still live with my parents. Can't drive a car. I want to go back to school and have that normal college experience, go to parties and stuff but that may never happen with the virus stuff and I have bad social skills. I want a job and I want to work, I'm scared to interview and I have no job experience. I want to travel but I don't have anyone to go with and I don't want to go alone. Never dated anyone, never been asked out. I just feel so stupid, fat, and ugly compared to everyone else, that I don't know why I even bother trying. Nothing I do is ever good enough. 

[Thinly]

Ugh, yes. I feel like a failure everyday of my life. High school drop out, never had a real job, never moved out of my parents house, spent my entire teenage years starving, purging, cutting myself and drinking myself into oblivion. Now with the isolation it makes me feel even less motivated to do anything with my life and I feel totally inadequate to do anything in the "normal adult world"