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do you ever feel embarrassed about how you look?


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#1 moths

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 05:14 PM

I have pretty low self-esteem, and I sometimes feel so ugly and weird or socially awkward to leave the house. I just feel like locking myself in the school bathroom and crying.
I would probably have a panic attack I wore completely no make up in public. I am actually really disgusted about how I look, I can't stop comparing myself to others.
I'm really obsessed about it and I don't know how to cope.
how do you guys deal with it?
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#2 The Skinny Witch

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 05:19 PM

I feel the same way. I see people happy and confident and question why i have to be ugly as well as a fucking mess with no good qualities.
I honestly can only socialize when im drinking because it gets easier to pretend and not care
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I've lost control again.


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#3 Cunt

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 05:24 PM

I used to be so confident, like i-will-wear-what-i-want-eat-what-i-want-fuck-off-if-you-have-a-problem-with-that confident. I used to wear everything from bodycon dresses to boyfriend jeans, and it looked good because I felt good wearing it.

 

Yesterday I had a panic attack after spending 45 minutes choosing which black t shirt to wear.


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"recovery"

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#4 acadia

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 05:25 PM

Oh my god!! All the fucking time!! Like I constantly feel like people are looking at my fat and picking out all of my flaws and I get so nervous!!! I don't make it any better either by picking apart everyone I see that looks thinner than me.


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#5 breaking-out

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 05:29 PM

Every second of my life.

Spoiler

 

 

"Show me your worst," the Earth said to the Storm, "And I will blossom anyway."

 

Bitter, bitter was the pain and wilder and wilder grew her song, for she sang of the Love that is perfected by Death, of the Love that dies not in the tomb.

 

Got_Pot__44898__72268__03172.1454611141.

 

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#6 irrelephant

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 05:30 PM

Constantly 

 

I don't deal with it. I wear make up, and glasses even though I have contacts, and try not to be looked at for long periods of time, or have my picture taken by others, I don't wear revealing clothing (like, even shorts make me so self conscious... lol)


Spoiler
 

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#7 moths

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 05:31 PM

Yesterday I had a panic attack after spending 45 minutes choosing which black t shirt to wear.


Yeah that always happens to me, I I dress nicely I just thing "oh shit everyone things I'm really stuck up and think I better than them. And they must hate me and think it looks like shit on me"
and if I don't dress nice I start thinking things like " we people must think I'm ugly and lazy, everyone thinks I'm gross and disgusting"
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#8 crashepstein

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 05:33 PM

Ive never been confident about my outfits.  Esp at my highest weight. Ive skipped school everyday for a week because I felt too ugly >.< 


Height---- 5'5.5
CW------- 121 lbs
LW------- 85lbs
GW#1---- 118
GW#2---- 110
GW#3---- 105
GW#4---- 100
UGW-----95
Recovery turned me into a binger
I just want to be perfect again

#9 Guest_gentoo_*

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 05:34 PM

I'm 20 something and I have to buy clothing for children.



#10 Guest_Skinnydead_*

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 05:41 PM

All the time unfortunately.

#11 Guest__~_~_~_~__*

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 05:43 PM

I used to be so confident, like i-will-wear-what-i-want-eat-what-i-want-fuck-off-if-you-have-a-problem-with-that confident. I used to wear everything from bodycon dresses to boyfriend jeans, and it looked good because I felt good wearing it.

 

Yesterday I had a panic attack after spending 45 minutes choosing which black t shirt to wear.

My life in a nutshell 



#12 Guest__~_~_~_~__*

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 05:45 PM

I've actually been late to/ditched classes because I either took too long to pick out something to wear that didn't make me feel disgusting or just didn't want to leave the house looking the way I do. 

 

My prospective will also change too. Sometimes I'll be getting ready for work, and I'll think I look okay to walk out the door. Then I'll get to work and look at myself in the mirror on break and think "Oh my god, I'm so ugly, I need to get off of work right away so no one will see me like this". 


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#13 lollygagging

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 06:01 PM

Always, I spend so much time getting ready to go out and if one thing doesn't look the way I want I freak out and just want to stay home. Even when I leave the house thinking I look decent it doesnt take long for that tiny piece of confidence to shrivel up into self hatred and embarrassment.


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#14 Nazkat

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 06:06 PM

Only when I'm out of my element. On a typical day I am just me and am comfortable with it. I am human with all of my pros and cons, in every regard from personality to aesthetics. I also have a rather artsy perception of humans in general, which helps. But when I am attempting to look as 'normal' as possible and am out of my element, such as in a job interview, then yeah I can feel what I believe to be embarrassment, it's like a combination of anxiety and agitation. Everything I feel comfortable with suddenly becomes like a tick against me on a long checklist. I'm not thin, I have dark circles under my eyes, I have short hair, my teeth are not perfectly white, my clothes don't fit quite right because they came from a "business casual" objective at the Salvation Army, my anxiety is making me sweat and so my eye makeup is probably running, I have scars on my mouth from being hit as a kid, etc. I get that paranoid teenager mentality of, "Everyone must be looking at me and thinking I'm such a freak and loser," even though I'm almost 27 years old now and high school is almost a decade in my past.


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#15 wateroflife

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 06:07 PM

All the time...



#16 SkinnySnowPirate

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 06:30 PM

Yeah, a majority of the time, I don't want to leave the house because I feel so fat and disgusting. 

I see all these pretty people that look normal, but I feel like someone stuck my genetics on a blender, then slapped on my face and body and said, "Good luck."


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119, 118, 116, 115, 114, 113, 112,111, 110, 109, 108, 107, 106, 105                          

 

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#17 Mayy

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 06:58 PM

In class, i usually wait for everyone to leave before i stand to go, i just dont want people looking at me and judging me. I take forever to dress up and at the end i still feel bad. Like who am i kidding? A cute top wont hide how fat i am T.T
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#18 bleachedthoughts

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 07:10 PM

lol all day, every day.

Like sometimes I think if I tried and obviously lost another 30lbs then I could be cute, but then I see myself and nahh.

I literally stood in the full length mirror for a good hour crying.

But lmao if I tried to explain to anyone why I don't find myself attractive (but at the same time I kinda do???¿¿)

"When you're week and dizzy, you're almost there."


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#19 mer-thing

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 07:11 PM

Yeah. I had a full-on panic attack about how the back of my head looked in a picture.


 
mer·thing
noun

an objectionable or unpleasant half-human sea creature,

typically depicted with the head and torso of a girl and the tail of a fish.

 

current news:

attempting recovery. still fat.

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relapsin'

 

 

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#20 Yvonnee

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Posted 14 May 2015 - 10:15 PM

tbh im not gonna advertise for the pharmaceutical industry but when i went on an antidepressant for the first time, most of the feels you described above either subsided or went away. I just didnt give a damn about anything.. it can go both in a good way or bad. Thankfully for me it was good cuz for the first time I could talk to whoever I wanted and say what I meant to say, and have school presentations without freaking out and saying I was sick and had to go home (true story). And I know I looked better only because confidence does that to you.. and it was just a good feeling overall

Also luckily, when I went off the med, the confidence/"dont give a fuck" in a good way mentality stayed.

Unfortunately tho it only stayed for just about 2 years and now Im back to sitting in my house all days and being a depressed, pale faced, ugly and lonely loser :/

Anyhow, I guess something to think about is talking to a doc about it? even a family physician is good.


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HW: 68 kg                                                                                              

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