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April Accountability (40+ thread)


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#41 viofem

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Posted 06 April 2021 - 07:52 AM

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Today I wore a new top and commented how much i liked it. The hubs didn't answer me.

Me - "So you didn't like it?"

Him - "You are too thin"

You know, I had felt pretty cute until then. Also he called me out for interrupting him (I didn't really - he paused and I pointed out a flowering bush across the street. I know, still rude but it's not intentional.)

Anyway. Not feeling great after that. They're all out getting ice cream and I certainly don't want any NOW.

 

sorry couldn't quote it.

I am sorry that happened.  My boyfriend gets upset when I weigh 110, I want to get to 95.  He says I don't 'feel' good.  Too thin.  By no means am I.  I wish he would be happy when I am happy but no.  I am sure you look great! Be safe.


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SW 155

CW 122

LW 95

UGW 95

maybe 88 I have to see when I get there


#42 Thaisa

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Posted 06 April 2021 - 09:47 AM

122.5 this morning.

 

Yesterday I had an 'off' day food-wise. Twice I found myself stuffing my face for no reason, not even hungry. I gorged on salad, roasted veggies, cheese, nut patte, eggs. It felt like 'screw all this' eating, I think because my high weigh-ins bug me, even though I know logically I am probably not 'bigger' than I was a week ago. 

 

Oh and I ate a stale brownie as part of my self-loathing eating. It was the only junkie thing I ate.  And then the hubs out of nowhere asked 'hey, where is that brownie that was here? Gawd. I told him it was stale and so I tossed it.

 

I'm going to try and start fresh today, mentally. I think I'll pause on pushing myself to do IF and instead just make sensible choices and mostly just try to cool my jets. 


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Current weight: 123-126

Height: 5'6"

Ortho athlete

40+

Goal: nutritious eating without purging + to get back to my lean weight of 115 lbs

 


#43 branlew

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Posted 06 April 2021 - 09:59 AM

Came to the sensible and logical solution that recent binging (and purging) issues are being caused by the increase in stress at work. I work in retail and it's spring break and people are starting to go "Karen" as it now known coupled with some internal restructuring that keeps pushing me to more customer-facing positions which doesn't work well with my autism.

Last time when this happened I did the opposite and restricted like crazy as my coping technique. It would be nice to find a good medium ground instead.

I am back down to 132.8 again after that weird 2 week blip of being 138. My monthly goal is 130 but we'll see how it plays out.

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#44 Thaisa

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Posted 07 April 2021 - 08:18 AM

121 this morning. Yesterday I felt again like I just couldn't stop eating. Went to bed last night stuffed and woke up hungry? Yay hormones or whatever it is. 

 

Traveling on the road today and tomorrow so lots of sitting on my bum. 


  • thinstrument, Foreverlonely and sweetdaisy like this

Current weight: 123-126

Height: 5'6"

Ortho athlete

40+

Goal: nutritious eating without purging + to get back to my lean weight of 115 lbs

 


#45 thinstrument

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Posted 07 April 2021 - 08:33 AM

Snuck a quick scale peek and it looks like I may have gained. Ugh. I did drink 32 oz of water which is 2 lbs but still

Not ready
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#46 Kasechka

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Posted 07 April 2021 - 12:29 PM

Great weight loss tool:  have your oldest child get rejected or wait listed at every university they applied to, even though they have top grades and scores.  Haven't felt like eating in days and don't think I ever will again, thanks to the intense anxiety and most of all, shame. Like I am ashamed to be fat and since life has served up another massive helping of shame, something has to give.  Wonder how much I can lose in a week of fasting? Oddly, I don't even really much care...but it would be a sad little consolation. 


  • thinstrument and Foreverlonely like this

54 years old, 5'10", mom of 4,BED but figuring it out with your help

HW : 206.6; (not pregnant) 257 (pregnant with twins)

LW (as an adult): 130;

SW: 206.8;

GW: 128/BMI 18 

<p>206 205 204 203 202 201 200 199 198 197 196 195 194 193 192 191 190 189 188 187 186[/] 185 184 183 182  181 180 179 178 177 176 175 174 173 172 171 170 169 168 167 166 165 164 163 162 161 160 159 158 157 156 155 154 153 152 151 150 149 148 147 146 145 144 143 142 141 140 139 138 137 136 135 134 133 132 131 130 129 128 


#47 Thaisa

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Posted 07 April 2021 - 02:59 PM

Great weight loss tool:  have your oldest child get rejected or wait listed at every university they applied to, even though they have top grades and scores.  Haven't felt like eating in days and don't think I ever will again, thanks to the intense anxiety and most of all, shame. Like I am ashamed to be fat and since life has served up another massive helping of shame, something has to give.  Wonder how much I can lose in a week of fasting? Oddly, I don't even really much care...but it would be a sad little consolation. 

Wow. I'm sorry. That must be hard to handle as a parent (and certainly for your oldest). Something must be haywire for that to happen, in admissions. It's not you. I think these are just really strange times, both for college and for the job market. I hope something works out with the waitlist(s). Hugs. 


  • Kasechka and Foreverlonely like this

Current weight: 123-126

Height: 5'6"

Ortho athlete

40+

Goal: nutritious eating without purging + to get back to my lean weight of 115 lbs

 


#48 Thaisa

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Posted 07 April 2021 - 03:01 PM

Snuck a quick scale peek and it looks like I may have gained. Ugh. I did drink 32 oz of water which is 2 lbs but still

Not ready

It's water. One good whiz and you'll be back down :)


  • thinstrument, Foreverlonely and sweetdaisy like this

Current weight: 123-126

Height: 5'6"

Ortho athlete

40+

Goal: nutritious eating without purging + to get back to my lean weight of 115 lbs

 


#49 sweetdaisy

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Posted 07 April 2021 - 04:12 PM

121 lbs (8 st 9 lbs) this morning, which makes me one pound below my goal weight.  Feeling really good and along with starting isometric exercises, I think it's having a positive effect on my running.  I am running faster, my knee injury has cleared and I generally feel better in myself.

 

I did have a couple of Lindt Lindor Chocolate Truffle Balls yesterday evening as a treat, as I felt I needed some sugar.  It was that or tuck into an Easter Egg which I didn't really want to do.  The increase in my daily calorie goal, plus daily exercise allows me to to eat a little more on heavy exercise days.  It really has been an insight in logging what I'm eating.  I think where I may have been going wrong in the past is maybe restricting too much and then when I feel hungry, instead of loading up on healthy/filling foods, I would end up eating rubbish, when I could have just had a proper meal in the first instance.

 

It's all a learning curve and one that I am hoping I can continue to learn from.  I'm also hoping that the isometric exercises will help tone my body and in turn will make me feel happier about the appearance of my body, but this is not something that is going to change overnight and is going to take a long time and patience. 


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#50 viofem

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Posted 08 April 2021 - 06:24 AM

I lost a half pound but in the past 6 weeks i have only lost 4 pounds.  Even for me that is too slow.  I have to go on a medicine for a bit that I shouldn't have caffeine with. dreading it.  I don't drink a lot of coffee but i need what i drink. It' one of my small pleasures you know?  On another note, I have my BF on a diet and he is doing great.  I knew he would in the beginning, but thought it would stop after a few weeks but he is going strong!  At least I know the things to do to lose weight, if only I could myself!


  • thinstrument, Thaisa and sweetdaisy like this

SW 155

CW 122

LW 95

UGW 95

maybe 88 I have to see when I get there


#51 Thaisa

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Posted 08 April 2021 - 06:32 AM

I lost a half pound but in the past 6 weeks i have only lost 4 pounds.  Even for me that is too slow.  I have to go on a medicine for a bit that I shouldn't have caffeine with. dreading it.  I don't drink a lot of coffee but i need what i drink. It' one of my small pleasures you know?  On another note, I have my BF on a diet and he is doing great.  I knew he would in the beginning, but thought it would stop after a few weeks but he is going strong!  At least I know the things to do to lose weight, if only I could myself!

Honestly 4 pounds in 6 weeks sounds great to me. Be proud. Slow losses tend to be much more sustainable and less likely to backslide, don't you think?


  • viofem, thinstrument, Kasechka and 1 other like this

Current weight: 123-126

Height: 5'6"

Ortho athlete

40+

Goal: nutritious eating without purging + to get back to my lean weight of 115 lbs

 


#52 Thaisa

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Posted 08 April 2021 - 06:34 AM

So yesterday I weighed on my mum's scale (visiting her) and it said 120? I have still been eating a lot and not sleeping well and generally feeling off. I am hoping that soon I'll feel back to normal and be able to restrict a little again. At least I'm not b/ping. 


  • viofem and sweetdaisy like this

Current weight: 123-126

Height: 5'6"

Ortho athlete

40+

Goal: nutritious eating without purging + to get back to my lean weight of 115 lbs

 


#53 viofem

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Posted 08 April 2021 - 06:36 AM

You're right.  It's just I eat so little because of my metabolism and it's discouraging to see the slow numbers.  I am happy with 4 pounds a month, my doctor said it's quite normal to lose 4 pounds a month, two if you are lucky.  So to lose less when I am being so careful is hard.  I just wanted to be thin by summer time and at this rate I won't.  I will, however, have a normal BMI in 10 pounds.  So I am happy about that.


  • sweetdaisy likes this

SW 155

CW 122

LW 95

UGW 95

maybe 88 I have to see when I get there


#54 thinstrument

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Posted 08 April 2021 - 11:13 AM

I got here losing maybe 2-3 lbs a month... if that.

I feel ya. Just hard to get a significant deficit. MFP tells me my maintenance calories are 1270 a day now 😬 so if I don’t exercise I am screwed
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#55 sweetdaisy

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Posted 08 April 2021 - 03:27 PM

You're right. It's just I eat so little because of my metabolism and it's discouraging to see the slow numbers. I am happy with 4 pounds a month, my doctor said it's quite normal to lose 4 pounds a month, two if you are lucky. So to lose less when I am being so careful is hard. I just wanted to be thin by summer time and at this rate I won't. I will, however, have a normal BMI in 10 pounds. So I am happy about that.


You're only a couple of months away from your BMI goal. A loss of 4 pounds a month or 4 pounds every 6 weeks is a good loss. And, as others have said, with a gradual loss you're more likely to keep it off.
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#56 sweetdaisy

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Posted 08 April 2021 - 03:36 PM

I got here losing maybe 2-3 lbs a month... if that.

I feel ya. Just hard to get a significant deficit. MFP tells me my maintenance calories are 1270 a day now 😬 so if I don’t exercise I am screwed

I feel the same and get confused with MFP (admittedly I've not been using it long).

So today I updated my weight/calorie goal and it's reduced my daily calorie goal slightly from 1,450 to 1,428. Then as a test I set it to 'maintenace' at my current weight of 121 lbs and it jumped to 1,678 a day!!! That nearly gave me a heart attack so I changed it back.

Gosh, I'd have to do loads of exercise each day to be able to maintain with that increase. Surely it can't be right, the calorie goal seems too high?

Anyway, I'm just carrying on with what I'm doing for now until it stops working.
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#57 Thaisa

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Posted 08 April 2021 - 11:57 PM

I feel the same and get confused with MFP (admittedly I've not been using it long).

So today I updated my weight/calorie goal and it's reduced my daily calorie goal slightly from 1,450 to 1,428. Then as a test I set it to 'maintenace' at my current weight of 121 lbs and it jumped to 1,678 a day!!! That nearly gave me a heart attack so I changed it back.

Gosh, I'd have to do loads of exercise each day to be able to maintain with that increase. Surely it can't be right, the calorie goal seems too high?

Anyway, I'm just carrying on with what I'm doing for now until it stops working.

I might be an oddball but I always felt that, eating certain foods, I can eat a lot of calories. For instance, I eat a lot of veggies, nuts, seeds ... stuff I know I am not fully digesting. If I added up how many calories I eat in a day, it would probably be huge. But I think if I ate, for instance, a similar calorie amount but with more easily digested things, maybe I would be getting more of the available calories? There is really no way to know, just a thought.  


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Current weight: 123-126

Height: 5'6"

Ortho athlete

40+

Goal: nutritious eating without purging + to get back to my lean weight of 115 lbs

 


#58 Thaisa

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Posted 09 April 2021 - 07:49 AM

120 this morning. Happy to see that my weight is back down from blob-ville. My sleep has been crap lately. 


  • sweetdaisy likes this

Current weight: 123-126

Height: 5'6"

Ortho athlete

40+

Goal: nutritious eating without purging + to get back to my lean weight of 115 lbs

 


#59 thinstrument

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Posted 09 April 2021 - 08:51 AM

MFP thinks I’m 4’6” so it doesn’t yell at me for my weight. LMAO 😂
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#60 Kasechka

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Posted 09 April 2021 - 12:52 PM

Wow. I'm sorry. That must be hard to handle as a parent (and certainly for your oldest). Something must be haywire for that to happen, in admissions. It's not you. I think these are just really strange times, both for college and for the job market. I hope something works out with the waitlist(s). Hugs. 

Thaisa, thank you so much for your supportive words.  Indeed, the system in the US is quite broken--our school's college counselor put it straight: "This is not a meritocratic system."  The hardest thing is knowing that I encouraged her to believe that if you work hard and meet high standards, that she would be rewarded.  She pegged her self-esteem on the reward, rather than pride in her efforts and integrity.  Now we're working on undoing the damage we did. I hope she forgives us, and yes, that a waitlist spot comes up.  The other option is overseas, which she's actually excited about.  Just starting to see the silver linings here.

 

Still don't feel like eating; 6 lbs down. Thanks, fat privilege. I've forced myself to eat the family dinner, though, so I've had about 300-400 cals over the past two days. Don't want to model restriction for my normal-weight kids.


  • thinstrument and Thaisa like this

54 years old, 5'10", mom of 4,BED but figuring it out with your help

HW : 206.6; (not pregnant) 257 (pregnant with twins)

LW (as an adult): 130;

SW: 206.8;

GW: 128/BMI 18 

<p>206 205 204 203 202 201 200 199 198 197 196 195 194 193 192 191 190 189 188 187 186[/] 185 184 183 182  181 180 179 178 177 176 175 174 173 172 171 170 169 168 167 166 165 164 163 162 161 160 159 158 157 156 155 154 153 152 151 150 149 148 147 146 145 144 143 142 141 140 139 138 137 136 135 134 133 132 131 130 129 128 



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