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30 day binge free


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#141 maddyhenry

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Posted 17 May 2021 - 04:27 PM

day 2 binge free

i overate today or ‘ate like a normal person’ which is never fun but at least it wasn’t a binge. still feel suicidal but what’s new.

#142 maddyhenry

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Posted 17 May 2021 - 04:27 PM

Ended up in the same boat as you today. Tried to fast, started eating, ended up binging...I hope you're doing ok today x


ah we will get through this. stay hydrated and keep your head up!

#143 maddyhenry

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Posted 17 May 2021 - 05:39 PM

alright so i am really fighting the urge to weigh myself. i am trying to limit to only weighing myself once a week but it is so hard bc ive become so obsessive and addicted to it. how weird it is how much my ed has changed and evolved. and the lying is craazzy, i told my mom the other day how sad i was no one noticed that i was literally this time last year. i just remember feeling stuck but in the complete opposite way i am now.



#144 maddyhenry

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Posted 18 May 2021 - 07:49 PM

3rd day binge free. aight so I’m not someone ppl just come up and are like “you’re pretty” but at work today it happened twice on separate occasions and i think I’m being pranked. but also a cute new guy started o working here which is just motivation to lose weight
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#145 maddyhenry

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Posted 19 May 2021 - 05:13 PM

day 4 binge free. oh my god so much drama at work and i am getting to my breaking point. i feel like I’m always some how drawn into this sort of stuff and it depresses the hell out of me

#146 maddyhenry

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Posted 20 May 2021 - 02:20 PM

i binged today. which sucks. but also came to a realization. i think my binging has evolved to becoming an emotional eating thing. like something drama related happened at work and I’m wrapped up in it, which ducking sucks. i try so hard to stay out of drama but i got home from work and just wanted to stuff my face. this has never been what i result to to help my emotions. but i now realize this is a new trigger that i need to work on. :( sad i broke my streak though.

#147 maddyhenry

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Posted 21 May 2021 - 05:12 PM

day one binge free. i am becoming depressed af and sh is a real issue atm and i think my coworker knew what my sh scar was so...

#148 NLP

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Posted 21 May 2021 - 06:18 PM

hang on in there, it could have been me writing that, you're not alone x


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Functioning dysfunctionally

 

     


 


#149 maddyhenry

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Posted 22 May 2021 - 08:38 PM

day 2 binge free
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#150 maddyhenry

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Posted 23 May 2021 - 07:48 PM

i binged today and it was weird. it wasn’t like all at one time and i never felt ‘uncomfy bloated’ but i def binged. ate like 5 cookies in the morning. ughhhh sigh. this is exhausting. i think it again was triggered by being alone

#151 maddyhenry

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Posted 24 May 2021 - 05:10 PM

day 1 binge free nothing to say except the new girl at work is literally perfect and i hope she is enough irl thinspo to push me over the edge



#152 Cloud.sse

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Posted 25 May 2021 - 01:06 PM

day 1 binge free nothing to say except the new girl at work is literally perfect and i hope she is enough irl thinspo to push me over the edge

Hello just wanted to remind you how flipping strong you are to keep fighting, this thread is honestly so inspiring and I think you are doing amazing x
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#153 maddyhenry

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Posted 25 May 2021 - 02:05 PM

Hello just wanted to remind you how flipping strong you are to keep fighting, this thread is honestly so inspiring and I think you are doing amazing x

thank you! everyone following this has definitely helped me a ton! i probably would’ve continuously binged everyday w out this thread and all the support so thank YOU
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#154 Maria Sophia

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Posted 25 May 2021 - 02:14 PM

thank you! everyone following this has definitely helped me a ton! i probably would’ve continuously binged everyday w out this thread and all the support so thank YOU

I enjoy sharing your journey, and you give insights that become realizations for me. Like your emotional eating breakthrough. I do that. And just today I realized that I started over eating and binge eating more about 3 years ago when I stopped drinking. I see now I didn't stop my addiction - I transferred to food. I've become weight obsessed. On a humorous note - I was thinking yesterday that if I weighted myself more maybe I could develop some of the habits the anorexics have. Yes, I envy them their strength. So opposite of the impulsive, out of control habits I have.


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#155 maddyhenry

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Posted 25 May 2021 - 06:16 PM

I enjoy sharing your journey, and you give insights that become realizations for me. Like your emotional eating breakthrough. I do that. And just today I realized that I started over eating and binge eating more about 3 years ago when I stopped drinking. I see now I didn't stop my addiction - I transferred to food. I've become weight obsessed. On a humorous note - I was thinking yesterday that if I weighted myself more maybe I could develop some of the habits the anorexics have. Yes, I envy them their strength. So opposite of the impulsive, out of control habits I have.

i go through similar thoughts. i used to be a crazy anorexic. hated being that way at the time and would have done anything to just eat w out hating myself and thinking it was the end of the world. but now i’ll have moments where i miss those times. i’ll read my old journal or look at old pics of me at that time and remember how ducking miserable i was tho and that helps. neither side is fun but i was a lot more confident before. so i get the envying anorexia tendencies over binging. on that note, i wouldn’t want to fully spiral back into my heavy restricting. i would just love to become a person who lives and manages their ed. someone who counts calories, stays under maintenance, and just steadily loses and eventually maintain a lw. personally i’d be happy just losing 10 pounds and staying at 120 but every time i binge it causes me to want to fully spiral and get back to my LW. scary how this cycle works but i hope w my determination i’ll get to where i want.

day 2 binge free
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#156 maddyhenry

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Posted 25 May 2021 - 08:11 PM

back bodycheck. my wide shoulders and wide hips are signs that god hates me. it sucks and has always made me feel like a man. :/ biggest insecurity is my shoulders


update : the pic won’t upload, i’ll try again tomorrow

#157 maddyhenry

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Posted 26 May 2021 - 07:11 AM

8 in the morning binging :0 this sucks big time and all i want to do is keep going but I’m stopping it now. plan on eating the rest of the day normal-ish. still fucking sucks.

 

i got triggered by my belly fat. i feel like my belly just sticks out so far. and i hate it. i miss my flat pancake body



#158 Cloud.sse

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Posted 26 May 2021 - 10:45 AM

8 in the morning binging :0 this sucks big time and all i want to do is keep going but I’m stopping it now. plan on eating the rest of the day normal-ish. still fucking sucks.

i got triggered by my belly fat. i feel like my belly just sticks out so far. and i hate it. i miss my flat pancake body

Sorry I keep commenting lol but it's just so relatable what you're going through, and it's kinda reassuring that I'm not the only one. I keep binging like all the time and I know how hard it is to eat normal, so if you managed today that's amazing! And also relate with the belly thing it really triggers me as well and makes clothes and everything hard to find. Ugh this sucks, I've said it wo many times before but I'll keep saying it, you're gonna get through this and its gonna get better xx
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#159 maddyhenry

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Posted 26 May 2021 - 11:25 AM

Sorry I keep commenting lol but it's just so relatable what you're going through, and it's kinda reassuring that I'm not the only one. I keep binging like all the time and I know how hard it is to eat normal, so if you managed today that's amazing! And also relate with the belly thing it really triggers me as well and makes clothes and everything hard to find. Ugh this sucks, I've said it wo many times before but I'll keep saying it, you're gonna get through this and its gonna get better xx

 i definitely don't mind the comments! makes me feel like I’m not talking to myself. it does suck but we will get there, each time we fail, makes us stronger getting back up and trying again


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#160 maddyhenry

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Posted 27 May 2021 - 02:21 PM

binging today. misery. i feel really ugly, insecure, and all around just hate myself. the past few days have been filled w tons of horrible suicidal thoughts and i miss how i was before. when i didn’t give a shit how much i ate or what i weighed. i used to be so carefree and happy and full of life and i feel like such a ghost. just living going through the motions and barely being present
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