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how did you get past "exercise embarrassment"?

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#1 dea-thgrips

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Posted 15 April 2021 - 11:52 PM

so I'm a pretty active person, I walk a lot and I like to dance and hike.

 

but I don't like gyms or non-enjoyable exercise for the pure sake of exercise, partially because there was a period of my ED where I would over-exercise just purely out of self-hatred and it triggers a lot of bad feelings for me.

 

I really want to get a little bit of upper body strength and just to tone up my arms a little and stuff. I'm not joining a gym or buying a bunch of equipment, tbh I just want to do some body-weight exercises by myself at home and see where that takes me. 

 

but the thing that always gets me when I try this is how embarrassed I feel!! like I just did 3 reps of 30 arm circles and my arms feel so tired and sore and literally all I did was wave my arms around lol. I feel so embarrassed about how tired it made me feel and it makes me feel ashamed of how weak my upper body is (and of course my ED brain runs with that and tells me all sorts of mean things). It discourages me from continuing to exercise because I feel weak and dumb. No one can even see me do this! I feel embarrassed even just being by myself and doing it. 

 

TL;DR: If you "started from zero" with your exercise routine, did you feel embarrassed at the beginning with how little you could do? What helped you get past that feeling? Were there any positive feelings you used to help motivate you to continue? (Negative feelings do not motivate me to exercise lol)


you can call me ace / 26 / agender / they/them

 

"surely, with every hardship comes ease" Qur'an 94:5

 

···黑夜给了我黑色的眼睛 

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#2 Police Officer’s Whore

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Posted 16 April 2021 - 02:27 AM

I just kept telling myself I would do more as I made progress and I did. I increase reps/add dumbbells to every exercise. I’m way better off than when I started. My calves and forearms are super toned so I’m just waiting for my busted can of biscuit thighs and jelly upper arms to catch up. About arm circles, I started off doing 150 without dumbbells to 300 without dumbbells, now to using two 8 lb dumbbells over the course of a month. Pushing yourself as far as you can go without causing injury helps to progress quite fast.
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#3 nothingmuffin

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Posted 16 April 2021 - 07:23 AM

Hi, have you considered getting into strength training like for real? If you feel “weak and dumb” it might help because strength training makes you feel strong and powerful. Especially if you eat at maintenance or surplus. Plus you see progress literally every session as the weights go up each time, it’s a huge ego boost.

#4 JohnThomas93

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Posted 16 April 2021 - 06:19 PM

Force yourself to do it (properly) for two months and you'll be proud of your progress rather than embarrassed. And you shouldn't be embarrassed for being weak, you should be embarrassed for not consistently trying. (Not literally embarrassed, no judgment, but I'm trying to illustrate the two different options)
"Work hard in silence. Let your success make the noise"

#5 dea-thgrips

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Posted 16 April 2021 - 07:15 PM

Hi, have you considered getting into strength training like for real? If you feel “weak and dumb” it might help because strength training makes you feel strong and powerful. Especially if you eat at maintenance or surplus. Plus you see progress literally every session as the weights go up each time, it’s a huge ego boost.

 

Tbh I've always been kind of interested in getting into strength training because I feel like I would actually really like to feel physically strong. But I restrict pretty heavily (probably too heavily to build significant muscle), and I cannot really face gyms. Maybe someday I'll get to a place where I can really get into it (:


you can call me ace / 26 / agender / they/them

 

"surely, with every hardship comes ease" Qur'an 94:5

 

···黑夜给了我黑色的眼睛 

我却用它寻找光明···

顾城


#6 dea-thgrips

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Posted 16 April 2021 - 07:17 PM

Force yourself to do it (properly) for two months and you'll be proud of your progress rather than embarrassed. And you shouldn't be embarrassed for being weak, you should be embarrassed for not consistently trying. (Not literally embarrassed, no judgment, but I'm trying to illustrate the two different options)

 

yeah I guess maybe I just have to feel embarrassed for awhile and keep doing it even though I feel embarrassed T_T If I can push through the embarrassment for long enough to actually see A Result then I would probably feel a lot better.


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you can call me ace / 26 / agender / they/them

 

"surely, with every hardship comes ease" Qur'an 94:5

 

···黑夜给了我黑色的眼睛 

我却用它寻找光明···

顾城


#7 JohnThomas93

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Posted 16 April 2021 - 07:30 PM

If I can push through the embarrassment for long enough to actually see A Result then I would probably feel a lot better.


I promise you that you will feel better if you push through the embarrassment. Its extremely motivating when you see and feel the difference. However, you must do it properly and eat properly to see results.
I see people work their butts off incorrectly or with poor diets and they go nowhere. Meanwhile other people half ass it but have a decent routine and perfect diet and they excell. Its 90% diet and I don't mean restricting. You need to eat more to get bigger muscles. If you can't bring yourself to eat more at the very least eat a very high protein diet and dont neglect carbs
"Work hard in silence. Let your success make the noise"

#8 dea-thgrips

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Posted 16 April 2021 - 07:35 PM

I promise you that you will feel better if you push through the embarrassment. Its extremely motivating when you see and feel the difference. However, you must do it properly and eat properly to see results.
I see people work their butts off incorrectly or with poor diets and they go nowhere. Meanwhile other people half ass it but have a decent routine and perfect diet and they excell. Its 90% diet and I don't mean restricting. You need to eat more to get bigger muscles. If you can't bring yourself to eat more at the very least eat a very high protein diet and dont neglect carbs

 

 

Yeah, I know that I will not build muscle at the amount that I eat, I run a pretty big deficit and although I try to get as much protein as I can, realistically it is not enough. If I could just tone up a little that would be enough for me right now, and maybe when I hit a point where I can up my intake I'll have some good habits built that could serve as a foundation upon which to like actually build a stronger body. That's kind of best case scenario though. I appreciate the advice, I will file it away in my brain and hopefully there will come a time when I can actually apply it (:


you can call me ace / 26 / agender / they/them

 

"surely, with every hardship comes ease" Qur'an 94:5

 

···黑夜给了我黑色的眼睛 

我却用它寻找光明···

顾城


#9 JohnThomas93

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Posted 16 April 2021 - 07:45 PM

Yeah, I know that I will not build muscle at the amount that I eat, I run a pretty big deficit and although I try to get as much protein as I can, realistically it is not enough. If I could just tone up a little that would be enough for me right now, and maybe when I hit a point where I can up my intake I'll have some good habits built that could serve as a foundation upon which to like actually build a stronger body. That's kind of best case scenario though. I appreciate the advice, I will file it away in my brain and hopefully there will come a time when I can actually apply it (:


Yes, its definitely worth building a good foundation. You can actually get much, much stronger without eating properly. Your muscles will remain the same or get smaller even. It's neurological. You brain learns to better utilize the muscles. This is not speculation, it is fact, however I may have explained it incorrectly.
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"Work hard in silence. Let your success make the noise"

#10 L I M B O

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Posted 29 April 2021 - 05:06 AM

I started exercising regularly a year ago and at first I was super unfit and weak and it was definitely unmotivating. I used to feel really bad about how I would only do the low-impact versions of every exercise (often doing a low impact version of the low impact version lmao) and even doing the "easy" version I would still sometimes need to stop. I remember I couldn't even do half-pushups, I couldn't hold planks during workouts when I was tired from other exercises so I did knee planks. I couldn't do lunges properly I would lose my balance a lot. I remember how weak I felt and how embarrassed I was and that often made me want to quit, but I didn't and now I'm much stronger than I was. My tip would be to pick 3 beginner friendly videos (for upper body, lower body and core) and do these videos every week (maybe start doing the core video 2-3 times a week and then increasing that to 4-5 times; do the upper/lower body videos once a week at the beginning then increase to 2 (or even 3) times a week). Continue with this routine for 4-12 weeks and then make changes to the routine. This works because you'll be doing the same moves for a long time which means your body will have time to improve and strengthen, it's better than switching up your workouts every time. While doing these workouts try to remind yourself to just do the best you can, because that's what is most effective for you and what will make you able to do the harder versions later on. You'll have good days, you'll have bad days but try to do the best you can each time you work out and stay consistent. If you can only do a plank on your knees properly, then do that. If your form starts to suffer take a short break of 1-2seconds then try to continue. It's not effective to do moves like up and down planks if you can't do them properly, do the hardest version you can do properly. I know how it feels to be in this place and I would often cry during workouts because I felt so weak and dumb but it will get better. When you feel like this, remind yourself that doing a simple version of the exercise properly is improving your muscles as much as doing a fancy version of the workout improves the muscles of someone who has years of experience working out. No one started out being able to do hard exercises and make it look effortless while keeping good form and some of us even started doing very very simple versions of the exercises to build up strength to do harder things. If you want more tips or motivation or just support feel free to message me, I know how it feels and how it feels like you'll never be able to do it but it's possible, believe me!


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#11 xl7

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Posted 05 May 2021 - 11:19 AM

My gym has lots of “no judgement zone” which made me check myself when i was judging other and since I wasn’t judging others I just told myself the signs were doing the same for everyone else and they weren’t judging me


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