What's the point? - Starting at a higher BMI - Forums and Community

Jump to content

About MPA

MPA is a site dedicated to the support or recovery of those suffering from eating disorders or body dysmorphic disorders. Please be sensitive to this fact when creating an account and contributing to the board.


What's the point?

  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 Daniel4754


    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2193 posts
  • LocationTennessee

Posted 09 May 2021 - 07:23 PM

Lady year, someone on the forum lost a bunch of weight and was left with a bunch of loose skin and she told a story about a guy who was physically attracted to her and they were getting ready to have sex but he was suddenly turned off because he saw her loose skin for the first time which wasn't visible with her clothes on and just walked out. She called herself 'unfuckable' before her transformation because she was obese and after now because of her loose skin. I was just thinking about her this evening and how it relates to me as a person who weighs 338 lbs at the time of writing this.
  • Lolita1997 and Impulse_Control like this
SW: 347 • CW: 327 • GW: 190 • MyFitnessPal: Daniel8746

#2 Cunterfly


    Choose your own title! PM Admin or Bibs.

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10270 posts
  • LocationWestern Australia

Posted 09 May 2021 - 07:26 PM

When I lost from 110 kilos to 60 kilos, I had a lot of loose skin, but when I gained back up to 75 kg a few months later, the loose skin was actually gone


I don't think it stays forever


I also don't think it's a universal problem; people who lose weight more gradually seem to have a lot less loose skin


I don't think you need to be discouraged by one person's horrible experience


But also, I have to assume you're not losing weight solely for the purpose of hooking up with people. Looking better in clothes and having better physical health are both excellent motivations

  • Feather_Ivy likes this

mostly on EDC

#3 hibernating



  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3397 posts

Posted 09 May 2021 - 07:29 PM

the point my dear, is that, if someone finds you unfuckable, they can go fuck their self and leave you to someone else who will appriciate other things you have to offer too apart from skin and bones and flesh and blood, because not all things in relationships are about sex only, a lot of other things are important too.


human relationships are not easy, so it makes it a bit easier (i.e for conflict resolutions, and other things that occur in close relationships) if the other person cares about you, and loves you.


someone who cares about you, and loves you, they will see other things too not only skin and bones and flesh and blood. Appearance comes and goes, people get wrinkles, or they have an accident, or etc, or etc, someone who is superficial enaugh to care only about the way you look will not be a good partner, a relationship is many things is not just sex


(i am replying to your specific worry, not in general)

  • ensammastisverige, Jemma9292 and Impulse_Control like this
*currently on posting hiatus

#4 liberatedLiberator


    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 592 posts
  • LocationNamek

Posted 09 May 2021 - 07:37 PM

Agreed with all the above- and if it turns out your whole reason for being is to indulge in casual sex with individuals of questionably shallow character, one could always develop a fetish where you can apparently only get turned on if wearing a crotchless latex body suit. 😁 Noice
  • WorldsOnlyFatCeliac likes this

that's super kami guru to you

Daily reminder that if you ate at a deficit you lost weight even if the scale hasn't budged


#5 yammy



  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 32 posts
  • LocationSydney, Australia

Posted 09 May 2021 - 07:40 PM

Never stop improving yourself or fighting to get to where you want to be because other people might not appreciate it. Bettering yourself and reaching your own goals, one small step at a time, is always worth it. 

  • Jemma9292 and liberatedLiberator like this

i want it i want it i want it

i want it all in the palm of my hand, i don't really care how

#6 Impulse_Control


    Advanced Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 352 posts
  • LocationCalifornia

Posted 19 May 2021 - 12:39 PM

There are multiple reasons not to feel hopeless about this.

1. First of all, if they think that about you then they don't matter. There are plenty of people who won't think that, that woman just encountered a total douchenugget.

2. Not all, but a lot, of loose skin WILL shrink. This process is especially helped by weight lifting. Weight lifting will help a lot. I think making sure you drink a lot of water can help a little too because of the processes the body uses to get rid of fat cells and in tightening/rejuvenating skin.

3. After all the adjusting if you still have loose skin and you feel absolutely dysphoric about it, there are skin reduction surgeries that help take care if the left overs. If it will make you feel any better you can google before and afters of this process.

4. Just to reiterate, body shaming people are turd nuggets and they literally do not matter. If you meet someone who says shit like that to you they have a gross personality and automatically do not matter. I mean think about it. Being the kind of person who says that shit to people is way more embarrassing and gross than any physical thing you could feel ashamed of. They're just exposing it because they feel like they're safe enough in the scenario to avoid repercussions. Many people would be disgusted if they heard someone say something like that in public.

5'6" 24y
+ sw 61.2 + bmi 21.6 +
+ cw 55.5 + bmi 19.6 +
+ gw 45 + bmi 16 +


#7 branlew


    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 807 posts

Posted 20 May 2021 - 11:38 AM

That was my post and it was more like 2 years ago. The guy's name was Ray by the way. I don't particularly hold any grudge against Ray. He told me the fucking truth so I can't knock him for that. He was just being honest and it was, in fact, a full on talk after the clothes went back on.


A couple things to keep in mind since you've been thinking about it all these years:


1. I'm actually asexual anyway so I was just going to have sex out of obligation and also because I was going through a phase at that time where I was wondering if I could pretend to be a human and do "human experience" things (spoiler: I'm not, and I can't really). So therefore being "unfuckable" actually didn't dent my view too much. I was more upset at the time because it was both a confirmation that it wasn't all just dysmorphia in my head but a actually I do look as bad as I think and also just a blow to the self esteem that stung and I was mad and lashing out about it.


2. If it's consolation, men's skin is more firm and has more underlying structure than womens skin anyway so you're statistically much less likely to get overall skin problems than women and also it tends to be in the stomach area specifically for men that is much cheaper and easier to fix than it would be for women. Like 2 years out I can report my skin is absolutely no better than that night but I feel like I'm an outlier and not the norm. Personally I cannot afford the 30K to fix my skin but, shit, maybe you can just get a tummy tuck for 18K and be good.


#8 WorldsOnlyFatCeliac


    Saw the FNORDs

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12823 posts

Posted 20 May 2021 - 12:19 PM

What's the point? I used to weigh over 300. Why would you want to continue living that way? It's a miserable hell, no matter how the probesity people dress it up. If you get down to the 100s and have loose skin that continued diet and exercise doesn't fix, you could always do skin tightening/removal surgery.

You'll be prolonging your life expectancy by decades by getting to a healthy weight, not to mention your quality of life every single day. Sitting in chairs/seats in public places without fear, buying clothing off the rack, not being mocked by people taking your picture to post online of the fatty, etc





Too Dead to Die - Another Sin


Stop! I can't hear it anymore
Never mind what I'm living for
Please, answer to me my only question
Are you perfection? Are you perfection?


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users