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honeybleeds ed poem thread


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#1 honeybleeds

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Posted 07 June 2021 - 01:21 PM

(I don't think I'm all that good, but I also wanna put my poems somewhere in case they ever mean anything to anyone)

#2 honeybleeds

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Posted 07 June 2021 - 01:41 PM

More than the horror of receiving a question asked too closely,
Or the arrhythmia in remembering difficult summer evenings
Is the all consuming fear
In striking moments of clarity

When edges and ribs don't feel like security
But instead,
Decay
And my built exoskeleton looks less of a castle
Than walls riddled with cracked edges

Such a skill,
Teleportation
The recipe for such a spell is easy
One part deprivation and one part loneliness,
To cast magic

Yet, midnight looms and watches
Keen to unravel
The twelve chimes strike like bullet wounds as I bleed out, waiting to gather enough for the next casting
And I lie in unshakeable terror at the fact,
The sudden epiphany:

I cannot
Help
Myself
Up
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#3 honeybleeds

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Posted 07 June 2021 - 01:50 PM

One
Two
Three

Green skin
Tart flesh,
But sometimes sweet
Bite down

Three
Two
One

To make nine
But I'm trying to be nicer
So I pluck

Four
Five
Six

To make eighteen
Roll around in the little bowl
The little bowl with the dragon on the side
Schedule got thrown off
That's okay, that's alright
Two more nights
Count down

Six
Five
Four

Until
Empty

Maybe
If I reposition my findings
Somehow, it'll be alchemy again
And I'll turn grapes into gold

#4 honeybleeds

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Posted 07 June 2021 - 01:53 PM

Trapped between two steps, sounds in my head are sirens or silence
They say anger is part of the healing but
I have nothing to heal from
"That's the denial," they say
"There's still more to grieve" 

I do not grieve.

We are not the same
Your heart having been betrayed
And perforated
And hurt

Glass shards litter the ground, where the bottle that smashed into a million pieces was thrown
Except it never existed
So neither do the open cuts on the bottom of my own heart from being scraped along the debris

I am not bleeding.

"Please," they cry
Offering gauze, offering iodine
"Let us tend to you, let us heal you"

Embarrassment soaks past marrow and sinew while the anger returns
Don't they know healthy people don't need to be healed? 

Sometimes, it's as if a spectre was looming behind my shoulder
Supernatural figment of my imagination
Why should I believe in it? 
What does a skeptic do when they are haunted? 
Surely, they wouldn't be expected to concede?

This little phantom, who crawls like cockroachs out of the bottle that never was, she haunts me 
Fills me with chlorine as she steals the breath from inside my lungs
Old towels hung in the bathroom she said she died in
Cried in 
"Do you know about the tears?" she asks me 
The dreadful tears, the tears that streaked down her cheeks, tears in places she couldn't speak--

I am unaffected.

They shake their heads, unconvinced
Grasping hands, meant to pull me away from her, warp like knives to me
And the bedroom ceiling meant to cradle me suddenly swerves inward into a spiny ribcage until I'm diseased with mold

I'll repeat it once more:

I am unaffected.

I can sing the words easier than I can say them 
I can pull my skin taut and cut it off, on stage for everyone to see the one thing I'm good at
I can make myself a stranger so I never have to see ghosts shadowing me 
I can devour myself until I succumb to ouroboros 
I can head count a panacea of everyone else and trick them into believing I was not exempt 

I'm only waiting for them to get used to it
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#5 paolarbear

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Posted 16 August 2021 - 10:19 AM

these are beautiful


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                     5'5

 

98 97 96 95 94 93 92 91 90 89 88 87 86 85

 

"its nice to feel your ribs on mine"

 


#6 The Porcelain Devil

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Posted 18 August 2021 - 11:38 PM

These are unique and striking in a dark and lovely way. Never stop writing.


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#7 transcendentalism

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Posted 21 August 2021 - 11:36 AM

i love all of these but the most recent really got to me. there's so much heaviness in it.


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25 | 5'8" | HW: 305 | LW: 135 | CW: 289.6 | GW: 118 | BMI: 44.0 | GBMI: 17.9
if that mind is just as frail as its frame, you know i'd leave it alone.


#8 honeybleeds

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Posted 23 October 2021 - 04:31 PM

wow I'm surprised I got so much support for these :) enjoy a little update I suppose!! sending good vibes to everyone, always make art <3

#9 honeybleeds

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Posted 23 October 2021 - 04:33 PM

My monster is big and has thousands of eyes
Two stolen from me so I can't see my size
I don't mind being blind, so I compromise
My seeing eye monster would never tell lies

My monster wears armour, it watches and guards
My monster has thick skin it stole from my arms
It keeps me so frail, but I'm not alarmed
My monster defends me, it would never cause harm

My monster is strong, and carries me on its back
Like I used to do, but monsters grow fast
And monsters need food, so in time I relax
While my monster consumes me, I ignore all the facts

My monster is happy and I guess so am I
It's harder to tell, when I'm in disguise
But my monster says "hey, it's okay, it's alright"
"They don't understand what's been on your mind"

My monster will listen, as it always does
I tell it my secrets when my head starts to buzz
It steals the bad thoughts and turns them all into fuzz
But good ones fade too, do you know who I was?

I'm bored of my monster, but I can't let it go
So many new bones but so few I can show
What's even the point of keeping limits this low?
If surely at some point, I will have to grow?

I dislike my monster; it's begun to take note
It calls me ungrateful and tells me to choke
Screams that I'm fake, a mistake with no hope
My monster is mine and it's stuck in my home

I am my monster, and my monster is me
Caught inside whirlpools of endless entropy
Conjoined at the joints, we're gnarled and twisty
Parasite symbiosis, one has to act quickly

#10 honeybleeds

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Posted 23 October 2021 - 04:34 PM

How dare I let something so common and youthful hurt me
A mockery of real pain
I will spit my musings up as stomach bile
And forget in the haze of numbers

#11 honeybleeds

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Posted 23 October 2021 - 04:35 PM

Calves sore
Belly aches
Exercise lowers the stakes
Brain foggy, feeling nice
Biting down on cubes of ice
Tastes too bitter, missing cream
Trying to recall my dream
Saw her face and felt her touch
Glad I can't remember much
One trick pony
Thoughts of eating
Keep me sane,
I know it's cheating
Juggle weights for circus freaks
Bones protrude, I like the feeling
Add equations, mathematician
Calculated theory missions
Easy lies through fragile teeth
To people I claim close to me
Spoiled truth
Expired fiction
How do you define addiction?
Don't believe me? Count me in
Dying hair and drying skin
I beg and plead to soon collapse
I'll hold my breath and start to crack
Grab your tickets, please stand back
And watch my disappearing act

#12 honeybleeds

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Posted 23 October 2021 - 04:37 PM

5 months clean
And a lifetime dirty
I chip away at marble flesh
Shavings hit my bedroom floor
While I beg for more
I've always loved being hurt
In many, many ways
Fingertips eroded stone
Most of which I didn't own

#13 honeybleeds

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Posted 23 October 2021 - 04:41 PM

I found a tree, bout fifteen feet
The branches bearing fruit so sweet
Ripe and round and plucked by me
The branches strong beneath my feet

It wouldn't hurt, should I fall
Not at least, from a tree this tall

The leaves were green
And I felt clean
Sitting in this apple tree
But even still, up on the hill,
Was even taller, I could see
Another plant, with spiney seeds,
And piney branches called to me

It was a risk that I could take
The tree sat by a little lake

I looked up and I looked down
At the water, at the town
The needles sharp, the trunk so brown
Taller than the highest clouds
I held my breath, and made no sound
The splash of droplets formed a crown

I had to see it
But don't ask why
I had to run so I could fly
I had to fly so I could fall
I had to drown to see it all


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