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alcoholism, anxiety and anorexia - i fucking hate everything HELP


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#1 littleyellowbee

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Posted 24 June 2021 - 06:57 AM

TW for alcoholism/self harm/ed talk obviously

okay so yesterday i had a bit of a triggering ~moment~ and decided to have a vodka redbull for breakfast and then that spiralled into a full on binge of alcohol all day, like i blacked myself out, and woke up at like 9pm with cuts all up my arm (haven’t done that in months), could barley open my eyes cause they were puffy from crying and just had to tell my roommates that i was feeling sick all day. i didn’t eat anything cause i felt so nauseous from the alcohol on an empty stomach but i had insomnia for the rest of the night and was just consumed by guilt and then went on tiktok and of course just got so triggered by all the ed content on there and now i just don’t even know what to do i feel so trapped. like i wanna get better but something just stops me, it’s a constant battle and i’m exhausted. anyway sorry to dump it all here i just needed to get it out to someone

#2 _paperdoll

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Posted 24 June 2021 - 08:28 AM

Thank you for sharing. It's a step.

Have you tried reaching out to anyone? Someone in your life you can confide in about your feelings? Or maybe a stranger.. such as a therapist/counselor? A lot of these resources have moved virtual. You don't have to open up right away. Start in small steps and talk about your anxiety or depression first. Build a safety net you can utilize in moments like this. I know it's hard and it's going to be really, really hard. I've been caught in the middle or have days where I'm just fed up with living with my ED and want to get better, but I'm just not ready. Tackle one emotion at a time and take a little but of weight off of your shoulders. Virtual hugs.
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"No thanks, I'm not hungry."


#3 littleyellowbee

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Posted 24 June 2021 - 06:45 PM

Thank you for sharing. It's a step.

Have you tried reaching out to anyone? Someone in your life you can confide in about your feelings? Or maybe a stranger.. such as a therapist/counselor? A lot of these resources have moved virtual. You don't have to open up right away. Start in small steps and talk about your anxiety or depression first. Build a safety net you can utilize in moments like this. I know it's hard and it's going to be really, really hard. I've been caught in the middle or have days where I'm just fed up with living with my ED and want to get better, but I'm just not ready. Tackle one emotion at a time and take a little but of weight off of your shoulders. Virtual hugs.



#4 littleyellowbee

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Posted 24 June 2021 - 06:47 PM

that made me cry thank you so much for caring, i really appreciate it. virtual hugs right back <3

#5 thisburningworld

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Posted 24 June 2021 - 08:44 PM

I’ve totally fucking been there, and it’s such a painful place to be. You’re not alone.


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