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My husband’s weight loss program is horribly triggering

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#1 PrinnyWinnie


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Posted 15 July 2021 - 02:18 AM

In November, my husband decided to start lifting weights and walking on the treadmill for a half hour, three times a week. He had a few lbs to shed and wanted to feel better about himself. Ok. Great. I was totally cool with it for the longest time. Then he started to cut calories. The weight started coming off faster. He began to jog now, and the weather started to warm up, so he began jogging more frequently outside. I learned that he weighs 165 @ 6’2” the other day, because he told me. He’s starting to look incredibly thin to me and I brought it to his attention yesterday that I was worried about his weight loss and I thought that he should start upping his calories and start lifting more. He wants more of a cut body, so he needs to lift more and hasn’t been. I think he’s reverting back to his high school ways, when he had a very disordered view on food and weight. I’m worried for him but at the same time, I’m starting to feel SO COMPETITIVE! I walk so much now that most days, I just fall into bed at night from exhaustion. I can’t talk to him about this because he’s extremely defensive about it and immediately gets argumentative, even when approached in a nice, gentle way. He says for me to work on myself and stop focusing on other people..My ed will NOT be silenced simply because he’s overshadowing my loss! I’m 98 this morning, I hope I can keep my loss going consistently and PROVE that I have an actual disorder. I guess what I’m trying to say is that he’s making me feel incredibly invalid as well. Ugh..Thanks for listening guys!

#2 monster59



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Posted 15 July 2021 - 08:38 AM

Oh goodness. I'm sorry. That sounds really tough to deal with. That weight for his height is very thin, oy.

Height: 5'9
Age: 37
LW: 138
HW1: 173
HW2: 162
CW: no idea
GW: 140

High restrictor 2015-2017; less so since then. Lean muscle from hiking, running and jiu jitsu


I don't want to wait anymore, I'm tired of looking for answers

Take me someplace where there's music and there's laughter

There's no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on

You've gotta just keep on, keepin' on

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#3 tententen



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Posted 04 August 2021 - 09:39 PM

I think many of us with partners can look at them as a model of normalcy, and it sucks that instead you’re getting a partner who is triggering you with unhealthy behavior. You’re valid af, and I really want you to stay safe. You don’t have to prove jack to a person who is making you feel invalid, whether he’s your husband or not. It’s a big red flag to me that you’re trying to talk with him about this in a reasonable way and he’s getting defensive. Do whatever you need to do to put yourself first (easier said than done, i know) and again, please stay safe.

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