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PWR 1200 Journey


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#1 Karlie93

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Posted 03 August 2021 - 01:48 PM

Hey

 

im going to be starting the 17 Day Diet by Dr Mike Moreno (it’s a book). It works in cycles of 17 days. For the first 17 days you go carb free and the book has a bunch of rules to follow: green tea with every meal, no fruits after 2pm, no more than 2 egg yolks a day, etc. Wait let me list them properly in case anyone wants to follow along. 
 

  • Remove skin from chicken or turkey
  •  Up to 2 eggs a day
  • No fruit after 2pm - only 2 servings of fruit a day
  • 2 servings of low fat probiotic such as yoghurt, a day
  • No alcohol
  • Green tea with every meal
  • 8 glasses of water a day
  • at least 17 minutes of exercise a day
  • coffee taken with no milk or sugar

the book then goes onto list the foods you’re allowed to consume on the first 17 days. The rules change for the next cycle but I’ll list those when I reach them. If anyone is interested and wants me to list the meats, fish, fruits and veg allowed on the first cycle, let me know. 
 

the book then gives a suggested meal plan for every day to follow. I live by myself so it will be easy to shop and prepare these meals and snacks without being distracted. I’ve run a few days through MFP and it usually comes to 700-1000 cals a day tbh so it’s fine. 
 

I’ll be following exercises from Kayla Itsines’ HIIT Gym based program via the Sweat app, and aiming for 3-4 hour long walks a week. 
 

I’ll be starting on Friday as I’ve got a date tomorrow, and am seeing a friend from out of town for dinner on Thursday. I plan to OMAD the next two days so I don’t majorly gain off the booze and food. 
 

stats will go up on Friday when I start, and will be updated daily. Let me know if you have any questions or want to follow along! Xx

 

UPDATE: I completed cycle 1 + half of cycle 2, went from 69 to 63, then hit a major burn out. Changed gears to a 1200 intake, complimented with PWR workouts. 


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#2 Karlie93

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Posted 03 August 2021 - 02:02 PM

Okay I’m back just because it’s quite funny… I’m still reading through this book and it’s quite pro-ED actually (sections of it reminded me of some of the stuff I read here).

 

there’s a section on dining out:

  • check the menu before you go to know what you’re gonna order (I feel like we all do this)
  • Sit in a quiet spot (as he suggests that sitting in a place where you might get distracted will make you eat more)
  • Be the first to order (as he suggests listening to other people order their unhealthy meals might tempt you)
  • Don’t eat the complimentary bread sticks
  • Starters can be main meals
  • Order dressing on the side
  • hes written.. you can’t take your kitchen scales to the restaurant so be smart about portions. Share the meal or take leftovers home. 
  • don’t order dessert. If you do, only have 3 bites of it.
     

OKAY WAIT I FOUND A SECTION THATS CALLED ‘Limit Exposure to Guy Food’ 

 

  • ​eat less than he does
  • exercise while he watches TV
  • Take charge of the kitchen 
  • become fitness mates

 

then there’s what to say to people who make comments:

 

comment: you’re wasting away

response: it seems that something about me being slim is concerning you. For me, my weight loss is good and healthy. 
 

Comment: you don’t like my brownies all of a sudden?
response: I’m not hungry right now, I’m full (then it says or take the brownies home and toss them out).

 

Comment: it’s your birthday, one piece of cake won’t hurt

response: I’m just so full, I’m going to take it home for later. 
 

ANNNNNYYYYWAAYYYYYY I’ll stop here haha. 


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#3 Karlie93

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Posted 06 August 2021 - 12:49 PM

Weight: 69.0kg

BMI: 21.7

Breakfast: 2 soft boiled eggs and an orange

Lunch: prawn and asparagus salad

Dinner: baked chicken breast and steamed veg

snack: yoghurt pot

total intake: 957 cal

Exercise: SWK HIIT workout + 25 mins swimming (-293 cals)

 

Notes: I set my alarm for 6am so I could go to the gym for my workout before I started work. Had enough time to also take my puppy out for a walk. I work from home so it’s not physically demanding and it’s an easy job, so it’s fine if I get brain fog. It was actually a super quiet day, I didn’t have much to do. I met my sister on my lunch break where I had the salad. After work, I went to the dentist then took my puppy to get his vaccination. It was raining quite heavily so I didn’t want to go on a walk. Actually I just wanted to curl in my bed with a film on, but I forced myself to go back to the gym and swim. I haven’t swam in years. I aimed to do 20 laps, but only made it to 10. I’ll add a lap on each time I go. It’s more fun than walking around the park even though it feels far more tiring. I had to stop after each lap and my legs were shaking when I was done. I felt light headed and dizzy so cooked dinner when I got back. That’s it for tonight really. A very quiet Friday night in with the puppy. 
 

I realise I haven’t shared my stats yet. 
 

height 5’10

Sw: 69.kg

GW: 58kg (for now)

 

I was at my goal weigh in February and was so happy with how I looked. But then my cat died, and my ex caused drama, and we were in lockdown, so I gained weight like nobodies business, smoked like it was oxygen, and fucked around because I was desperate for validation and attention. I’ve been seeing a new, older guy for a week now and I really like him. Will let you know how that goes. 
 

Its 6:45pm now. I’ll likely get bingey around 9 so I’ll go to bed early to avoid it. 
 

speak tomorrow! Xx


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#4 Karlie93

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Posted 09 August 2021 - 12:43 PM

Day 1
Breakfast: vegan sweets

Lunch: tuna salad

Dinner: baked chicken breast and steamed veg

snack: yoghurt pot

total intake: 882 cal

Exercise: SWK Lower Body Workout (-336 cals)

 

Notes: never start a diet on a Friday. The weekend hits and the next thing you know you’ve slipped and fallen into a burger, swam in a bottle of wine and ordered a large bar of chocolate. So yeah strike the past weekend out. We’re starting today. 
 

I missed my alarm this morning to workout as my puppy kept me up all night. He wanted to play and keeps biting and it’s really frustrating. I ordered some espresso coffee but it arrived with some free vegan sweets. Not part of the diet plan at all, but I didn’t want to throw them out plus they were low cal, so I ate them instead of breakfast. On my lunch break I went to the gym and did a lower body workout. Hit 40kg on deadlifts and hip thrusts, at 12 and 15 reps. Could definitely go heavier but due to the high reps, I didn’t want to. I wanted to go for a swim after work but was far too fatigued after the workout and low cal salad for lunch. 
 

took my puppy out on two short walks today. He hates walks at the moment and is still leash training. To be honest, i don’t blame him as the weather is miserable. Non stop rain. 
 

Tomorrow the guy I’m dating - let’s call him James - is coming over for dinner. He eats really healthy thank god so I’m cooking salmon and veg. If that even counts as cooking. My friend is going to be looking after the puppy as it’ll be James’ first time at my flat and I’m super nervous. His place is massive and in a beautiful area. Mine is tiny and the area is ugly. He doesn’t drink so I don’t have to worry about alcohol calories or getting drunk and ordering a takeout. 

I keep having thoughts of “I’m always going to be fat so I might as well eat what I want” when I get hungry. It’s really frustrating. I’ve been at the same weight for so long so part of me believes I’ll never change. I’m desperate to change though. I love bones showing. I’ve had bones showing. I need to shut my mind up and get myself there again.

 

anyway wish me luck on the date tomorrow! Xx


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#5 Karlie93

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Posted 10 August 2021 - 05:07 PM

Day 2

Weight: 66.9kg

BMI: 21.1

Breakfast: yoghurt and berries

Lunch: egg salad

Dinner: baked salmon fillet and veg

total intake: ??? cal

Exercise: one hour power walk (-520 cals)

 

Notes: so I don’t know my exact calorie intake because I didn’t cook the salmon and veg the way I usually do. I used a mix of vegetables and couldn’t portion it out because I didn’t want to do that in front of my date. But I didn’t eat much of it to be honest. My weight is down in the 66’s which is fine, as it was just binge weight coming off so it’s to be expected. I’m suspicious of the calories burnt that my Fitbit calculated for my walk as surely it’s too high? I don’t know. 
 

Anyway, work was dead so I did the walk during work. Was too tired to go to the gym on my lunch break so I’ll do my upper body workout tomorrow. Then I spent the day in between meetings and getting ready for my date. I was super nervous as James is 9 years older than me, self employed, owns multiple properties in expensive areas, and I can’t help but feel unaccomplished next to him. My friend picked my puppy up about an hour before James arrived. When he arrived we had sex, then chatted (I noticed I ask him a lot of questions but he doesn’t ask me, so I have to volunteer information), then had dinner (I’ll be honest it didn’t taste good, but he said it did I’m sure out of politeness), then we chilled and watched Netflix. He left around 10, and when my friend came to drop the puppy off I gave her the baklava and cake James had bought me as I don’t want anything to ruin my diet. 
 

James mentioned my body. He said I was very lucky to have good genetics as I’m skinny on top but muscly on the bottom. Which irked me, but also shouldn’t as I exercise so of course I’ll have built muscle. I’ve been skinny on the bottom too, but I think all my binges go straight to my hips and thigh. So I’m more determined to achieve the boney look I want and be underweight again. I don’t know, I just feel frumpy and pathetically average. 
 

Anyway, that was my day. I was too distracted and nervous with the date to feel hungry today. I want this weight to hurry up and fall off. I wanna see my top ribs NOW. But it’s only day two! Patience and consistency. God. Okay I’ll stop now.

 

goodnight xx


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#6 Karlie93

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Posted 11 August 2021 - 12:36 PM

Day 3

Weight: 66.6kg

BMI: 21

Breakfast: 2 soft boiled eggs and an orange

Lunch: chicken and veg soup

Dinner: baked turkey breast and veg

total intake: 750 cal

Exercise: Rest Day

 

Notes: Small decrease in weight today but thats fine as long as its a loss. Slept through my alarm AGAIN so didnt make it to the gym before work. Was going to go on my lunch break but I ended up being in back to back meetings all day. On the plus side i didn't really feel hungry as i was kept so busy. I decided to log today as a rest day. Initially i had planned on doing my weight training + walks/swims on the same day, but given how this week is going so far and my intake, i don't think thats realistic so i'll do 1 each day. 4 weight training days and 3 cardio days. Well, I'll have to combine on one day due to the rest day today. 

 

After work, I updated my CV and started applying for jobs as I'm losing brain cells at my current one. Usually i apply to jobs without giving it much thought and without submitting a cover letter, but this time i'm being very particular about each application. I desperately need a pay rise, and something more challenging. 

 

I booked the day off work on Friday as I need a break. I'll probably spend it job hunting. I asked James if he wants to meet on Friday but he said he's going away for the weekend and wants to meet early next week instead. It's a little tricky navigating dating him, as he has a demanding job whereas I'm free most of the time, so our timetables don't always match. It's annoying. 

 

I'll spend the rest of the evening finishing off a few job applications, and take my puppy out for a walk so that he sleeps at night and doesn't drive me insane. I'm not satisfied with these dinners of protein + veg, as they always leave me hungry. Dreaming of a burger. But I am disciplined, and if turkey breast with steamed veg will get me my boney self, then I'll shut up and do it. 

 

Speak soon! Xx


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#7 Karlie93

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Posted 12 August 2021 - 12:17 PM

Day 4

Weight: 66.0kg

BMI: 20.9

Breakfast: Kefir smoothie

Lunch: egg salad

Dinner: baked aubergine and parmesan 

total intake: 1035 cal

Exercise: SWK Upper body workout (-270)

 

Notes: Nice drop in weight today. Got into the BMI 20's. My intake was a bit higher than usual but im following the diet plan so no worries. Also I got a workout in on my lunch break thank god. Work was dull as always. Really glad I'm off tomorrow - 3 day weekend! YAS! It's been pretty quiet today. Even my puppy spent the day asleep. I'll probably take him on a long evening walk or he'll keep me up all night. 

 

I picked up a couple of tablets today - Vitamin C, Rhodiala, Omega3, Bacopa, Turmeric, Collagen, CoQ10. Just to keep my health in check while im restricting. As you can tell im mainly focusing on skin, hair, heart and brain health. Also the Rhodiola to relive stress and tiredness as I've found im tired quite a lot. Or maybe bored. I can't tell the difference anymore. 

 

Anyway, short and sweet update today. 

 

Speak soon! Xx


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#8 Karlie93

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Posted 14 August 2021 - 04:04 PM

Day 6

Breakfast: 2 eggs and an orange

Lunch: feta salad

Dinner: seaweed salad and salmon sashimi

total intake: 822 cal

Exercise: SWK full body workout + an hour walk (-687)

 

​notes: I took an off day yesterday. Spent it eating everything and purging. I just needed a reset. I was SO SICK of salads and protein. I needed to get my head right again. So I took the day to myself. I got right back on it today - did an hour walk in the morning then hit then gym. The off day helped recharge and motivate me again. I’m really proud of my intake today as I struggle so much on the weekends but I stuck to it today and smashed it. I don’t know if I’ll incorporate one ‘binge/purge’ day a week to keep me sane or not. I’ll think about that tomorrow when I’m planning my meals out for the week. I expect tomorrow that my weigh in will be around the low 66’s due to the binge day. But it’s fine, we keep moving and progressing and losing. 
 

I found a sitter for my puppy who lives about half an hour away from me. So I dropped him off after the gym and spent the day with my family. We went shopping, then to a park. Oh also yesterday a company contacted me regarding a job application I’d submitted asking for my notice period and why I wanted to work in a digital product manager role. So I sent my response and I guess I’ll see what they say on Monday. They’re offering the salary I’m after so it would be perfect if I got the job. 
 

Im currently doing a 24 hour fast. So I started after the seaweed salad at 4pm and will go until 4pm tomorrow. I’m gonna do my workout and walk as soon as I wake up, as that’s when I’m least hungry and have the most energy. I won’t break it. Unless I get dizzy in which case I’ll have a spoonful of honey, and continue. 
 

anyway, that’s me. 
 

speak tomorrow! 


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#9 Stagnant_Reality

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Posted 15 August 2021 - 03:00 PM

What food is allowed during the first cycle?

 ☁️''The Same blue sky in a strange new world''☁️

                                             


#10 Karlie93

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Posted 16 August 2021 - 01:14 AM

What food is allowed during the first cycle?

Hi, 

 

thanks for your question. I’m going to copy the list from the book now for you. 
 

  • fish - salmon, sole, plaice, tilapia, tuna
  • poultry - chicken breast, Turkey breast, Turkey mince lean, 2 eggs, 4 eggs whites
  • veg
  • low sugar fruit - apples, berries, grapefruit, oranges, peaches, pears, plums, red grapes
  • probiotics - low fat yoghurt, kefir, Yakut, cottage cheese, low fat and sodium miso, tempeh, kimchi
  • olive oil, linseed oil
  • condiments - salsa, pasta sauce, soy sauce, ketchup, sour cream, sodium broth, jam, cheese, salad dressing - all must be low fat. 
     

hope that helps! 


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#11 Karlie93

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Posted 16 August 2021 - 01:30 AM

Day 7

Weigh in: 66.4kg

Breakfast: fast

Lunch: fast

Dinner: omelette 

total intake: 431 cal

Exercise: SWK HIIT workout + an hour walk (-646)

 

​Notes: This is yesterday’s update as I didn’t get a chance to write last night. 


I SURVIVED MY 24 HOUR FAST!!!!!! Which is awesome considering I didn’t have work to distract me, and I did both a gym based workout AND an hour walk. I didn’t get dizzy or anything. Just hunger pangs which I ignored. My weight was as I expected given the binge day, so hopefully it’s all losses from here. 
 

I did the walk as soon as I woke, then went straight to the gym. I chilled a bit when I got back then took puppy out for a walk. I met my friend back at the gym as she wanted to use the spa facilities. I never use the sauna or steam room as I’m worried they’ll make me dizzy. However I used them with her and felt great. So I decided every time I do a swim session, I will follow it up with 15 minutes in the steam room. Also I was in a one piece swimsuit and she was in a bikini. Obviously I compared our bodies and I’m slimmer and that made me feel better as she has a smaller frame than I do. However she was talking about how she hardly eats these days and has lost a lot of weight, which made me a feel a bit….. I don’t know. I suppose I’m trying to be an adult about it so I was just like ‘make sure you’re taking care of yourself.’ When I got home, I only had an hour to go to break my fast which flew by thank god. I cooked an omelette and it was great. 
 

later another friend came to visit. She’s also obsessed with losing weight but she’s 6kg heavier than me and much shorter, and isn’t really doing anything about it. She just complains about it constantly but she never works out or diets so I never comment or say anything. We chilled a bit then she made rice which made me hungry so I ate a ready made vegetable only salad then started a 20hr fast. She left quite late which I why I couldn’t update as I was exhausted. 
 

ive woken up at 6am today because I’m trying to get a good morning routine in. I’ve meditated, and will journal, and will read, then go to the gym before work. I’m considering taking the next two weeks off as I’m REALLY miserable at my job, and just spend it job hunting. I don’t know. We’ll see. 
 

Oh I also took a body check after my workout yesterday which I’ll share here for you so you get an idea of what we’re working with. 

961-CECA4-54-E8-4-B71-A1-E0-6903804-CD7-

 


sorry the picture is so massive, I couldn’t resize it. I don’t know how I feel about it. I’m always happy when I see muscle definition on me BUT I ALWAYS FEEL SO FAT especially around my stomach hence you can’t see it here. 
 

anyway I’ll shut up now and update you later tonight on how the day went. 
 

 Best, Xx

 


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#12 Karlie93

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Posted 16 August 2021 - 03:06 PM

Day 8

Breakfast: fast

Lunch: fast

Dinner: chicken breast with egg salad

total intake: 513 cal

Exercise: SWK lower body workout (-314)

 

Notes: What a day from fucking hell. 
 

so I woke up an hour earlier than usual - 6am, because I want to incorporate an hour of personal development time into my morning routine. So I meditated, read a chapter of a habit building book, journaled. I REALLY REALLY didn’t want to go gym, but I forced it because I’m trying to get into the habit of making conscious beneficial decisions for myself. It was lower body day. I did 40kg on the leg press, and 40kg Romanian deadlift. This annoyed me as it didn’t feel challenging enough BUT the workout program dictated high reps for these exercises in sets of 3, so I didn’t feel comfortable going any heavier. I don’t mind the big exercises like deadlifts, squats, hip thrusts, but I hate the small ones - any form of lunges, steps ups etc but I understand they’re important and assist the big lifts. 
 

anyway, my plan was to start work at 9 but I ended up starting at 10. I want to ask my manager if I could take the week and next week off AS I FUCKING HATE MY JOB and want to throw myself into job applications, but she wasn’t in. She’ll be in tomorrow so I’ll ask in the morning. Having said that I did ABSOLUTELY no work today. I spent it applying for other jobs. Got a few rejections from the applications I made last week but that’s normal. 
 

okay this is where my day gets shit. So my friend from yesterday (the one who’s 6kg heavier) wanted to come over and also apply for jobs. I was like cool it’ll be fun. She arrived at 1. I usually don’t really socialise with friends for more than 2-3 hours at a time. Around 3, I started getting really tired - bear in mind I’d been up from 6, did a workout, and was fasting. But I knew I’d finish work soon so she’d leave when I was done. Wrong. She stayed until 8:30pm. I don’t know if it was because I was cranky, but she KEPT doing things that infuriated me. I told her I was fasting (she knows about my ED) and to please eat before she comes. She said of course! Then bought her lunch with her and ate it at mine. She said she quit smoking but kept asking me for one of my cigarettes, smoking half, then stubbing the rest out. This is my last pack until payday next week as I’m broke as fuck so I really didn’t appreciate that. She kept complaining about her weight being up, and her face getting chubby, and how unhappy she is- then went out and bought breaded chicken strips and two portions of rice for her dinner. She complained I didn’t have any milk for her coffee. She complained that my puppy was too skinny (he’s an Italian greyhound). She complained when she saw me put groceries away “are you gonna eat all of that?!” Me “no I’m freezing it….” I around 5pm I kept telling her I was tired and wanted to nap. She said “ok nap, I’ll watch Netflix.” I said over and over I was tired and wanted to sleep and explained my day, but she wasn’t getting the hint. She finally left after smoking another half of a cigarette. 
 

maybe I’m coming off ungrateful or rude or something. Idk. Maybe it’s just because im tired, hungry and cranky. But that’s my socialising for the month done. Maybe she’s having issues at home and wanted to stay out as long as possible? Idk. 
 

anyway i started a 24 hour fast after I finished dinner and now im off to bed.
 

night xx


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#13 Karlie93

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Posted 16 August 2021 - 03:13 PM

Want to apologise - ridiculously terrible things are happening in the world and I’m complaining about stupid shit. 


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#14 Karlie93

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Posted 17 August 2021 - 12:53 PM

Day 9

Weigh in: 65.5kg

BMI: 20.7

Breakfast: fast

Lunch: fast

Dinner: turkey with veg salad  

total intake: 386 cal

Exercise: Swim (-100)

 

​Notes: Today was super tough due to the fasting. 
 

woke up at 6 for my hour of self development. Read a few pages of a book, then went back to sleep haha. Woke up again around 8 and dragged my tired ass to the gym. I swam 500m/20 lengths/22 mins. I don’t understand how my Fitbit only logged 100 cals burnt as my heart was gonna jump out of my chest during the swim. Then I relaxed for 10mins in the steam room. 
 

I logged onto work at 10 to see if my leave had been approved. The manager asked if I could work today then take tomorrow - next Wednesday off. So I agreed. I didn’t ACTUALLY do any work until 4:30pm though. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I had the most ridiculous brain fog. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I was super tired. No amount of double espresso was saving me. I got dizzy multiple times, and by the time 6:17pm came and I could eat, I could barely stand as my head felt so heavy. 
 

I debated whether it was worth continuing the fasting trend, but I’m not working for the week so don’t need my concentration anyway. Plus I’m expected to spend Saturday with my family so I won’t be able to avoid not eating during the day so might as well incorporate the fasts into the 17daydiet, then on Saturday eat the meals, but stick to the diet rules. 
 

Also next week Mon - Wed I’m going on a trip with my friend from high school to Wales. I don’t know what I’m going to do diet wise. She doesn’t know about my ED. I know I can confidently skip breakfast by declaring “oh I never eat breakfast” as lots of people don’t. But lunch and dinner….. I can’t purge because we’re sharing a room. I’ll figure it out somehow. Holidays are massive binge triggers for me and LIKE HELL am I gonna gain because of Wales. For dinner I’m going to stick to salads with no dressing. Lunch is the issue and snacks. As she eats a lot and always carries snacks. If anyone has any advice, please share. 
 

anyway it’s almost 7pm. I might find a documentary to watch. Or take a nap. Or read a book. Meh. Xx


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#15 Karlie93

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Posted 18 August 2021 - 12:38 PM

Day 10

Weigh in: 64.9g

BMI: 20.5

Breakfast: skipped

Lunch: marinated artichokes with a skinny latte

Dinner: turkey with veg salad  

total intake: 778 cal

Exercise: Rest Day

 

Notes: IM IN THE 64ssssss YAAAAAAASSSSS Crazy to think I started at 69 only 10 days ago! 
 

I decided not to fast till dinner today as I had such a horrible time yesterday. So I took a break from fasting and exercise today. However after my dinner, I restarted my 24 hour fast. I wonder if my weight will go up tomorrow due to the increase in cals? It shouldn’t as my intake is still low. If it does, I guess it’s just bodily weight fluctuations which is normal. Especially given that I’m due my period. 
 

last night I had a mini melt down. Puppy was super high energy and I was SO TIRED and I had the craziest binge urge. I’m too broke to order food at the moment (thank god) so I opened a jar of tomato salsa and had a few spoons of that then threw the jar away so that I don’t keep eating it, or have it as a future option.

 

I woke up late today (9am), and took puppy out for a walk to the park and let him run around then bought him home. Then I went to Zara to pick up an order to shoes, bag, top and dress. Zara size S fits me really well so I didn’t bother trying them on. I picked up groceries - ground espresso, bags of baby leaf salad, and bags of veg. I was craving something cold so I got a skinny iced coffee from Pret. I know you’re not supposed to have milk with your coffee on the diet, and I broke that rule today, but it beats having a massive binge. I struggled grocery shopping to be honest, kept salivating at the chocolate and crisps isle. BUUUUUUUT I have £30 left in my account until I get paid on Tuesday next week. I’m stocked on protein and veg so I’m not worried about running out of food. I’m planning on spending it on 2 packs fo cigarettes so that I’m not tempted to buy snacks and binge food with it. 
 

when I got back from shopping, I took puppy and met my family and went to a different park. Puppy played with other dogs but one old woman was REALLY rude. He’s only 3 months and still learning and so gets really excited and jumps up when he sees other dogs. And she was like “I get he’s beautiful but he can’t behave like that, the other dogs don’t like it.” And picked up her dog and just stared down at him. I didn’t say anything and moved away. Like how fucking rude. Maybe her dog has had bad experiences? But then my mum heard her have a go at other people too, so I think she was just in a mood in general. 
 

Anyway, no plans this evening. Just going to chill and enjoy not having to think about work for the next week. Hopefully no gain tomorrow, I’m really nervous about it, but also telling myself it’s natural if there is a gain. 7 days of cycle 1 left!!!!! Xx


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#16 Karlie93

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Posted 19 August 2021 - 12:02 PM

Day 11

Weigh in: 65.0kg

 

Notes: today was a FUCKFEST. 

 

First of all, as expected, I went up in weight but only by 0.1kg so I basically maintained which is fine. 
 

Went to the gym, did an upper body workout, check out the arm pump here: 


05-C4-C433-CDBC-499-D-A854-8016-D91-D2-C

 

I decided I wanted to fast all of today through to dinner tomorrow, 44 hours. Today is a religious day in the Islamic calendar. I don’t consider myself Muslim but my parents are super religious. They ask me to come to the mosque once a year, and to keep them quiet, I do. I just sit there on my phone the whole time then leave. Anyway. So after gym, I meet my sisters and we go to the mosque. I’m quite hungry. They were serving pastries. I didn’t have any. Didn’t need to explain. I left halfway as I didn’t want to leave my puppy alone for too long. My mum forgot her debit card with me and I was like awesome. I used it to take an Uber back rather than a bus and train. I got home, changed my outfit and took puppy out to the park. I debated whether to use my mums card to buy more cigarettes. She doesn’t know I smoke. I checked and you can’t see what the person has specifically purchased, you can just see the shop and the amount spent. I thought about it for ages. I hate lying and going behind peoples backs but I was quite desperate as I really didn’t want to run out of smokes before payday. 
 

so I go to Tesco. I think to myself “You have £3 in your account. This is the last time until Tuesday that you’re going to be able to buy any food.” Which makes 0 sense as my fridge is stocked with chicken breast and salad. I walk out of Tesco with a bag of popcorn, M&Ms, Reece’s, cauliflower cheese, Mac and cheese, and two packs of cigarettes. I binge half of it while watching the Queens Gambit. Purge it, then smoke. I binge the other half, purge it till my throat hurts, then curl into bed and try not to die. I feel ROUGH. 

 

I immediately restarted a 24 hour fast. 24 hours I can do, and have been doing all week. Anything more is too ambitious at this stage I think. 
 

I also called my mum and told her I went “grocery shopping” and “bought dinner” with her card, without going into the specifics. She laughed about it. I’m so relieved. 
 

I hate how out of control and desperate I get. Out of control and desperate for food and cigarettes. I have my own income for fucks sake. I shouldn’t be going behind my mums back and using her money to fuel my secret addictions. It’s disgusting. Im disgusting. And all for what? Will it get me a lower number on the scale? No.  
 

fuck me.  

 

 


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#17 Karlie93

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Posted 20 August 2021 - 02:06 PM

Day 12

Breakfast: scrambled eggs with smoked salmon and mushrooms

Lunch: veg gyoza x8

Dinner: salmon with veg salad 

total intake: 1033 cal

Exercise: 1 hour walk (-362)

 

Notes: I didn’t weigh in today after the fuckfest that was yesterday. But I also didn’t fast till dinner. I tried to stick to the diet rules instead. Obvs gyoza is not on there. I went for a 2 hour walk with my dad and we stopped for lunch. The only safe food on the menu was gyoza as it was steamed and low cal, so I got that. I should have just skipped it but I’d walked three hours in total and was WIPED OUT. 

 

So today, I woke up late, snuggled with my puppy, went for a walk, had breakfast, started applying for jobs. Then my dad showed up to fix the lock on my front door (he’s my landlord) and we also went out for a walk. When I got back, I applied for more jobs - got a bit cocky with some applications. Then had dinner and just chilled. 
 

I feel really demotivated after yesterday. Really really really frustrated at myself for ruining my progress. I’m sure tomorrow I’ll still be in the 65s as the binge weight comes off. I feel like…. What’s the point, I’ll restrict then binge and gain it all. But the facts are I’ve come a long way away from 69, and I haven’t gained it all. Life IS gonna happen so I just need to learn to adapt and roll with the punches. E.g tomorrow my family are going to a Middle Eastern restaurant for brunch. I know there won’t be any safe foods. I’ve said I won’t go and will go to the gym instead. Choices. I need to show up for myself every day. Make every day count. I’m only 7kg away from my goal. It’s not THAT far. I can make it. I will make it. Whats a little hunger and tiredness? 


Oh also off the back of feeling so defeated I had a MASSIVE binge urge after dinner for sweet treats. I had a cigarette and waited for it to pass. Eventually it did and I’m glad I didn’t give into it. Anyway I won’t bore you any longer. Hope you have a fab Friday evening! Xx
 


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#18 rotten_apple

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Posted 22 August 2021 - 08:46 AM

I guess I could try this one too, once I stop bingeing...

Could you list the foods allowed in the first 17 days?


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Forever missing, the glistening.

— SOiL, Unreal.

 
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#19 rotten_apple

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Posted 22 August 2021 - 08:48 AM

OKAY WAIT I FOUND A SECTION THATS CALLED ‘Limit Exposure to Guy Food’ 

 

  • ​eat less than he does
  • exercise while he watches TV
  • Take charge of the kitchen 
  • become fitness mates

 

That gives the entire thing a very misogynistic vibe honestly...


Twisting deep inside of me,
Forever missing, the glistening.

— SOiL, Unreal.

 
28. Italy. EDNOS

Drugs and alcohol are my only friends.

Blog: [⛔ for friends only]

Introduction: [here]

 

 Competitions and Challenges 

 

 

d9br00j-bb991e00-bfa5-403f-bd81-8a97d6be

 

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#20 Karlie93

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Posted 22 August 2021 - 11:41 AM

That gives the entire thing a very misogynistic vibe honestly...

 

I know right!!! I think the book is very outdated tbh, which is surprising as it was published in 2010.

 

I guess I could try this one too, once I stop bingeing...

Could you list the foods allowed in the first 17 days?

 

  • fish - salmon, sole, plaice, tilapia, tuna
  • poultry - chicken breast, Turkey breast, Turkey mince lean, 2 eggs, 4 eggs whites
  • veg
  • low sugar fruit - apples, berries, grapefruit, oranges, peaches, pears, plums, red grapes
  • probiotics - low fat yoghurt, kefir, Yakut, cottage cheese, low fat and sodium miso, tempeh, kimchi
  • olive oil, linseed oil
  • condiments - salsa, pasta sauce, soy sauce, ketchup, sour cream, sodium broth, jam, cheese, salad dressing - all must be low fat. 

    let me know if you need anything else!

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