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PWR 1200 Journey


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#61 Karlie93

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Posted 04 October 2021 - 01:04 PM

Weigh in: 64.15kg

Breakfast: porridge with peanut butter

Lunch: Tuna and avocado on rye bread

Dinner: vegetable soup

snack: protein bar

total intake: 1301 cal

 

​Notes: So impressed with my loss! I don’t know how it happened, I didn’t restrict that much yesterday or exercise. It might be the ‘whoosh’ and my weight might go up tomorrow, but I think I’m on track to be in the 63s for Wednesday. 
 

I did work again today. I actually stayed half an hour extra to help with some stuff. Manager said I can leave half an hour earlier on a different day, so I picked Wednesday so that I have enough time to prepare for my dinner date. A bit nervous about tomorrow as I’m supposed to present the project I’ve been working on at 3pm and honestly I haven’t done enough at all. But I’ll start at 8am to get through as much as possible. 
 

I took puppy for a walk to meet my sister for coffee at lunch. 
 

After work i had dinner and now I’m chilling. I was supposed to go grocery shopping with my mum as I’m out of groceries and need to shop for the dinner date but it got really cold and started raining. She didn’t want to go out, so sent me her card details and told me to order groceries online. The only slot I could get was for Wednesday morning, so I booked that. I’m basically going to fast all day then prepare - a selection of meats and cheeses with crackers for starters. Baked salmon, veg, and pesto grains for dinner. Then I got a Betty Crocker cake kit as I thought it would be cute to bake something. I also got popcorn as well watch a film. Justin said he will bring alcohol. I am SHIT at cooking and most of my meals are bland so it will be interesting to see how this turns out. 
 

That’s it. Another quiet day. Worried about my weigh in tomorrow, as I’m sure I’ll have maintained or gained as that’s what usually happens after a whoosh. But it doesn’t matter as long as overall I keep losing. Speak soon. Xx 


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#62 Karlie93

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Posted 06 October 2021 - 09:45 AM

Yesterday I weighed in at 64.5kg. It’s fine, I expected my weight to go up or maintain after my whoosh. 
 

I was completely out of groceries and the delivery my mum paid for wouldn’t arrive until this morning. So I didn’t have coffee and my body went INSANE. I started work at 8:30 but napped from 10:30 to 13:30 as I was so tired. I received an email for a job interview and scheduled it in for this morning. Then I napped again from 15:30 to 19:00 woke up for about 5 mins and went back to sleep for the night. I had a killer headache and a fever. I didn’t eat much yesterday due to lack of groceries and constantly sleeping. I weighed in again this morning AGAIN at 64.5kg which was frustrating. 
 

I woke up as my doorbell rang announcing my grocery delivery. Unpacked everything but didn’t have an appetite for breakfast as I was nervous about my job interview which I hadn’t prepared for. So I spent the morning preparing them had the interview at 9am. The interviewer was lovely and it seemed to go really well. He said if successful I would have one more interview. BUT he also said that he worried I would get the job and quit after 6 months if my podcast took off. I assured that wouldn’t be the case, but I guess we’ll see what he thinks and if I make it to the second interview round. Please wish me luck as this job pays a lot more than I’m currently on and would fix all my financial struggles. 
 

I was in a massive meeting today but was blow drying my hair and forgot to turn my mic off. So that was embarrassing. Justin is coming over this evening for dinner. I’ve cleaned the flat, showered, and styled my hair. Work finishes in fifteen minutes so I’m going to drop puppy off for his first sleepover at the dog sitters house. I’m nervous for him but she’s so lovely, I’m sure he’ll be fine. I’ve still got a few things to clean plus I need to get dressed, prep dinner and do my makeup. He’ll be over at 8pm so I’ve got time. I haven’t eaten much today. I skipped breakfast and made some pasta for lunch just so I don’t get too drunk too fast later. 
 

That’s it really. I won’t be able to update tonight as I’ll likely be drunk but I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow! Please please please send positive vibes for my interview. Xx


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https://www.myproana...r-1200-journey/


#63 Karlie93

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Posted 07 October 2021 - 01:53 PM

I’m feeling really alone and I don’t know where to go or who to talk to so I’m here. 
 

here’s my update. 
 

I dropped puppy off for his first sleep over at the dog sitters house. She was really excited to have him. I was nervous to leave him alone for the first time overnight as I know his behaviours and habits and what he wants and needs, and she doesn’t. I just hoped he’d sleep through the night and not bother her. But I told her to give me a call if he acted up. 
 

I got home, got dressed and ready. Justin said said he’d just gotten into a cab, so I laid the cheese and meat platter out in preparation. He arrived with two bottles of wine. We ate and drank and played never have I ever. He has a very colourful past. I’m quite tame in comparison. Then we had sex and lay in bed listening to music and chatting and drinking. It was 11pm when he said he wasn’t hungry for dinner, so I was relieved as it meant I didn’t have to cook, nor eat anymore. He asked if I wanted him to stay over and I said I did. Neither of us slept very well. I wasn’t used to having a man in my bed and he wasn’t used to being in my bed so we woke up a lot throughout the night. I couldn’t wait for morning to come. At 7:30 I got up and showered. We both had work, and I had to pick up puppy but we agreed we’d see each other again as I still had the ingredients for dinner.

 

I left soon after he did, and went to pick up puppy. The dog sitter was not happy. He’d pooped multiple times, peed on her carpet, tore up tissues, and didn’t let her sleep. I was really surprised as he’s puppy pad trained, generally sleeps through the night, and has a very sweet temperament. I guess he just wasn’t comfortable. She said she’s happy to take him again for day care, but not for sleepovers. I completely empathised and kept apologising and offered to pay for any damages. I took him home, upset that she’d had a bad experience with him. 
 

I was half an hour late to work due to traffic, so made sure to ACTUALLY get work done and be on hand to help with anything. I still haven’t heard back from the interview I did yesterday but they said they’d let me know on Friday. I didn’t eat much. Didn’t have an appetite. I had some popcorn for lunch, didn’t have breakfast. For dinner I had some sweet potato fries and a quorn thingy you put in the oven. I messaged Justin and asked him if he wanted to meet over the weekend for a picnic - I could cook the food we didn’t eat and bring it. Then after work my mood just dipped. Like massively dipped.

 

I feel unbelievably alone. I feel rejected. I feel like I’m treading on egg shells with everyone. I feel paranoid. Scared. Tired. Sick. And there’s no reason for me to feel this way AT ALL. But I do. I think I just need to sleep it off. But I’m in pain and I don’t know why. One of the things that keeps recurring in my mind is that Justin is going to hurt me. That I’ve let him in too much, he’s taken what he’s wanted and now he’s going to leave. I have abandonment issues majorly. And I’m so scared he’s going to hurt me. Terrified. I also feel like I have no friends. When actually I have plenty of friends but I feel like I’m annoying and they don’t like me. I feel like my family are sick of me. I just want to cocoon myself away from everyone and die. Sorry I know I’m being majorly dramatic. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel really fragile. I think I’ll go to sleep early. 
 

sorry. Good night. Xx


Messy Accountability: 

 

https://www.myproana...r-1200-journey/


#64 Karlie93

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Posted 08 October 2021 - 01:29 PM

Weigh in: 63.9kg

Breakfast: granola with yoghurt

Lunch: pesto gnocchi

Dinner: sausages and salad

total intake: 1202 cal

 

​Notes: BACK IN THE 63sssss FUCKING FINALLY ITS TAKEN FOREVER!!!!!!!
 

Last night was wild. I told one of my friends how I was feeling and she came over to see me. While she was on the way, someone started POUNDING at my front door like trying to break in. I couldn’t see who it was from the window but it kept going for like 15 minutes. I yelled out the window and they wouldn’t answer. People on the street stopped to stare. It was so scary. I considered calling the police but then it stopped. If it happens again, I’m calling them. 
 

Today was quiet. The job I’m interviewing for haven’t emailed me. No news is good news I guess. I did no work today. Just kept the laptop on and powered through some emails in the last hour. Took puppy for a walk with my sister and dad. Arranged a date with Justin for Monday evening. That’s it. 
 

Now that I’ve finally hit 63 again, I’ve got my eyes on 60. Im gonna do 800 cals tomorrow and Sunday. Then on Monday fast and have dinner drinks with Justin. Then plan the rest of my week from there. Hopefully I’ll be in the mid-low 63’s on Monday. My birthday is in December and that’s coming around pretty quick, so eyes on the prize. God I just wanna hit 60. Once I hit 60 the goal will be 58 putting me at officially underweight. I can’t fucking wait. 
 

Have a good Friday evening xx


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https://www.myproana...r-1200-journey/


#65 Karlie93

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Posted 10 October 2021 - 12:25 PM

Breakfast: granola with yoghurt

Lunch: pasta in mascarpone sauce

Dinner: quorn escalope with steamed veg

total intake: 1316 cal

 

​Notes: I don’t like how high my cals are today. It’s because I poured too much granola out onto my yoghurt and couldn’t put it back. I’d weighed it so I knew how many cals it was but it annoyed me.

 

Yesterday I skipped breakfast, then took puppy to the park with my family. We stopped for lunch in the park cafe and I got a vegetable and feta salad. Later I took puppy to my friends house. I told her I didn’t want dinner as she wanted to order out. However 2 bottles of wine in and we ended up ordering a Burger King meal. Hence I didn’t weigh in today.

 

today I went for a 1 hour walk in the morning by myself, just to burn off some cals. Then met parents for coffee. Then had work (yes on a Sunday) from 2:30-5:30 which was annoying. Made dinner after and now I’m chilling. Justin asked if we can rearrange Monday to Tuesday as he finishes work earlier then, I said it was cool as I’d be able to take back the hours I work per today on Tuesday and also finish early. 
 

Annnnnnd that’s it. Super quiet weekend. Not much else to report. 


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#66 Karlie93

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 01:02 PM

I’ve been quiet. Lots going on, let’s take it day by day.

Monday - didn’t do much, showered puppy and he was TRAUMATISED. Literally hates taking showers. Messaged the job I’m interviewing for as they hadn’t gotten back to me. Said I’d hear back soon, as they had to reschedule some interviews. 
 

Tuesday/yesterday - worked a half day as I took back my hours from Sunday. Spent most of the day napping. Went to drop off puppy at my friends flat in preparation for my date. Chilled with her a bit. Smoked and had coffee. Came back and got ready for my date. Justin was late. I was super nervous. BUUUT we had a lovely time. Chatted, drank, fucked, cooked dinner, watched Squid Games, then went to pick up puppy together around midnight. He met my friend which is HUGE as only one man has ever met any of my friends. My friend was really funny, she said to him “not to be rude, but you’re ruining me and Karlies ‘talking about you’ time so I’ll check in with her tomorrow.” Then I got home with puppy and literally passed out as I was exhausted. 
 

I woke up so fucking tired today. I’m out of money and out of groceries so I didn’t have breakfast. I actually woke up to a message from the company inviting me to the final interview round. I booked it in for the same day 15:30 to get it out of the way. At lunch time I met my dad and sister at a cafe. We had tuna paninis. Then I came home and prepped for my final interview. I think it went well???? I answered all his questions and asked plenty of my own. It wa switch the co-ceo of the company. It’s a tiny, company a start up, but they pay well and the role is really interesting, so I really hope I get it. The interviewer said that he will interview a few more people then discuss with the other CEO (who I interviewed with previously) to choose who the role goes to, and that they’d let me know on Friday. So I’m shitting myself for Friday as I DESPERATELY want this job. If I get it, I’d only have to work two more weeks at my current job, then start the new one in November. God, the pay would make such a difference to my life. It’s at least 10k more than what I currently earn and means I can move into a 1 bedroom flat, as opposed to living in a tiny studio with a puppy. Please please please send positive vibes that I get it. I’d buy you all drinks for sticking around with my accountability for so long if I could. 
 

my dad is transferring me some money later. I get paid next week so it should tide me over. 
 

ED wise, I think I’ve maintained? I haven’t weighed in the past few days just because my eating has been all over the place, either too little or too much, so I’m sure I’ve maintained. Idk. I’ll weigh in tomorrow and give you an update. I’ll also grocery shop tomorrow so I can track my cals, and focus on the 60kg goal as I don’t like the ambiguity that comes with not knowing how many cals im eating. 
 

tomorrow is going to be long, I can already tell. I just want Friday to roll around and to find out if I got the job. That’s the only thing on my mind. This damned job. It’s a managerial position and would be my first role as some sort of manager in a corporate world. For context, my younger sister started at the same company I’m currently in, doing a very similar role, and earns more than me. It’s ridiculous. 
 

anyway, I’m gonna stop bitching now. Please wish me luck and success. Xx 


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https://www.myproana...r-1200-journey/


#67 akyre

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 09:55 AM

Wish you the best
Hope you have the job, you really deserve it!
Also, I listened your podcast and I love your voice. It’s so calming *^*


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