A place to save my poems that may or may not make any sense.
my shitty poetry(?) < this question mark exists because i'm certain this doesn't even begin to qualify as poetry
Posted 03 September 2021 - 09:15 PM
please try to understand
that I begged you to stop
I opened my mouth and asked you, when I can’t even open my mouth to eat
and you told me no
you wouldn’t stop
you wouldn’t even try
When I finally understood that you couldn’t
and when I decided I didn’t deserve it
you were the one begging.
and now it’s my turn to tell you no.
See how you like it.
it’s no fun.
Posted 03 September 2021 - 09:18 PM
I'd like an answer please
I do not speak
Do not ask me a question
When you wish to receive an in depth answer
I cannot give you one, though I have the words
My lips should stay shut
I know that, and if I could explain, you would understand too
I'd tell you that they help my insides away from the outside
I like my insides messy, the outside is too clean.
My thoughts are mine
And not worth sharing
I cannot speak
There is a weight on my tongue that can only be lifted by authority
and fingers down my throat
Strangling me from the inside
Until bile spews instead of the contents of a dictionary
But I like it like this
I like my mouth sewn shut and my eyes wide open
And my brain saying everything I cannot.
Posted 03 September 2021 - 09:25 PM
Open door policy
My parents no longer trust me at home
They saw my pain etched into my arms and now they find it easy to say no to closed doors
Now the glass knob of my door is always cold.
They don’t like me alone
I am always alone.
In this body it is just me
So what does it matter if my door is closed
I could just close my eyes and it would be the same.
They think I might kill myself
But I could do that in any room
A knife in the kitchen
Pills in the bathroom
The breakable mirror in the hall
Rafters and a rope in the basement
The tub in the attic
Gasoline and a lighter in our driveway
The faulty window screen in my younger brother’s bedroom
So who cares if my door is closed?
They could never listen to me explain this
They don’t like me to say what I’m thinking
They want to get me fixed so that I no longer walk into a room and search for the quickest escape route.
There always is something in every room.
There is a list on Wikipedia with every method of suicide
Maybe one day I will invent a new way
And then they will be proud
Because I will be known for something other than cutting
Posted 03 September 2021 - 09:31 PM
They like my safety plan
we had a good laugh over it
I wrote that if I wanted to hurt myself, I would bake.
As if I wouldn’t just turn the stove on
and press the soft pad of my hand onto the metal grates until it melts straight through.
But they liked my plan, so who cares if i'm suicidal
at least i'm safely suicidal
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